Guest Bloggers

2010 Resolutions

For our 2010 resolutions post, we’ve decided to do something different, crazy, and completely irresponsible: We’re letting our resident Guest Blogger Jepeto have the honors.

(The resolutions expressed below are those of the guest blogger and in no way represent the collective resolutions of WWFC)

2010 Resolutions

(not actually 2010 resolutions, idiots, just 8 that are easy to do)

1. I QUIT!

Yep. Finally. After too many years of this shit, I’ve decided to quit. I can’t take it anymore. The smell…man that melting pot of foul odors. I will be able to breathe again. Why did I spend a fortune on something I disliked so much? Yes, this time I mean it…I will never take public transit again!

2. I QUIT! (Bis!)

Yep. Finally. After too many years of this shit I’ve decided to quit. I can’t take it anymore. The smell…man that melting pot of foul odors. I will be able to breathe again. Why did I spend a fortune on something I disliked so much? Yes, this time I mean it…I will never change my son’s diaper again. I don’t care about the consequences.

3. I will try to find the Mayans. Fucking cowards! Disappeared centuries ago and are telling us that we will too in 2012. If I get my hands on one of you jokers…

I will begin my search at Area 51. I’m sure there’s a Mayan or two there, having a laugh with Bigfoot, Cusack and a Squid-looking alien. (Hate those aliens! Man!)

4. I will watch “Philip” die again in Brave Heart. I still can’t stand people with inverted smiles or mouths.

5. I will catch an ant in my house and torture it. I’ll release it. That way it can tell the colony to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!

6. I will start a Hockey league with curling rocks.  We can call it Hocking or Curley. You can only take slapshots, no passes allowed. Windows must be reinforced though…

 

7. I will root for Andorra during the Winter Olympics! Go Andorra go!

I ROOT FOR ANDORIANS…ANDORITES…ANDORISTS… WHATEVER THEY CALL YOU! GO ANDORRA GO!!

8. I will become totally immune to any kind of flu . So on the same day: swine flu shot, avian flu shot, normal flu shot, abnormal flu shot, horse flu shot and Mayan flu shot (the worst). Lower rising fever with Viagra and Cialis. If my erection and fever last more than 48 hours, I will masturbate and take an advil. Et voilà!

Happy New Year!

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