People Who Should Spontaneously Combust

Ok, it’s that time of year.  Snowflakes, mistletoe, lights, wreathes, 3-hour wait for parking at the mall, 4-hour wait at the checkout line…ahhh, ’tis the season to blow someone up. 

This is typically the time of year when I lose all patience.  Not because of the usual stressors of the holidays, but rather because it seems to be the time of year when people demonstrate unprecedented, high levels of stupidity.

So without further ado, here’s my list of people who should, if there really is a Santa Claus, immediately cease to exist:

• my neighbours who put up their Christmas tree, and all their 2 million outdoor lights, in November
• my other neighbour who hoses down her 12-car driveway, then the sidewalk, then the street
• the salesman who kept interupting me to tell me what accessories I needed to purchase for a gift I was buying.  I was trying to tell him I’d already bought them.
• the guy who charged me $3.50 for a small iced tea
• my colleague, who’s in love, and keeps singing Anne Murray’s “You Needed Me“
• Anne Murray

Well, that’s it.  For now.  But it is only December 5th after all.  I’m sure the list will double before next week is out.  Sigh.

Tags: anne murray, checkout, iced tea, lights, mall, mistletoe, neighbours, salesman, Santa Claus, snowflakes, wreathes