Holidays

Rich, Stupid, Famous People Who Should Spontaneously Combust

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I hate themes, even though there appears to be a zombie theme, cheese news theme and stoopid people theme to all of my blogs.  In my defense, zombies are awesome, cheese is the meaning of life and there are just so many ridiculously stupid people in this world, the majority of whom seem destined to cross my path.

I’ve already written a preliminary list of people I believe with every fibre of my being should immediately cease to exist.  I think the rich and stupid version is long overdue.

Dear Satan…I mean Santa,

Please have the deer trample the following people:

  • Tiger Woods –  He’s an overpaid athlete who cheated on his wife.  Big freakin’ deal!!  This is a shock?  A scandal?  Who cares??  Stop freakin’ talking about him!  He’s a moron who wasn’t smart enough to know that if you’re going to cheat, it should be with a very expensive escort who knows how to keep her mouth shut!
  • Lindsay Lohan – After visiting India’s poor and sick, she is a changed woman.  Do I care?  No.  Changed or the same, she’s just an idiot.
  • Amy Winehouse – Do I need to go into details?  Really?
  • Megan Fox – Because you’ll never hear the words “…and the Oscar goes to” before her name, and I’m really sick and freakin’ tired of hearing her go on and on about being an actress.  She was the set of fake boobs in Transformers.  Please.
  • Robert Pattinson – I am convinced he is as dull and boring as he keeps telling everyone.  So what if he’s pretty?  If his life is so mundane, he is expendable and can easily be replaced by another pretty face.  Zombies would kick the crap outta vampires anyway.

I don’t want to be greedy, Santa, so I will just ask for those five.  I have been a really good girl though.  I’ve worked hard.  I’ve studied.  If you think I deserve it, throw Brangelina in there too.  They used to be a guy who cheated on his wife and a woman who carried her husband’s blood in a vial around her throat and frenched her brother in front of millions, but now they have fused into one and are going to save the world.  Uh-huh.  Thanks Santa.  Give my best to the missus.

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  • Jen

    My vote goes to Brangelina too!Except for Tiger and Amy Winehouse I don’t know who the rest are which is a good thing. I’m just thankful that Anne Heche doesn’t get anymore press.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..I Lost a Whole Year! =-.

  • Jen

    My vote goes to Brangelina too!Except for Tiger and Amy Winehouse I don’t know who the rest are which is a good thing. I’m just thankful that Anne Heche doesn’t get anymore press.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..I Lost a Whole Year! =-.

  • Lucky you! For the record, Lindsay Lohan’s claim to fame is being a singer/actress/drunk/lesbian/heterosexual whiner (come to think of it, a bit of a younger Anne Heche); Megan Fox, as I mentioned, is the set of hooters featured in the movie Transformers; and Robert Pattinson is an actor in the Harry Potter movies, the Twilight movies and, according to him, his own pathetically dull life.

  • Lucky you! For the record, Lindsay Lohan’s claim to fame is being a singer/actress/drunk/lesbian/heterosexual whiner (come to think of it, a bit of a younger Anne Heche); Megan Fox, as I mentioned, is the set of hooters featured in the movie Transformers; and Robert Pattinson is an actor in the Harry Potter movies, the Twilight movies and, according to him, his own pathetically dull life.

  • I couldn’t agree with you more on your list above. I sure hope Santa’s listening, I mean Satan 🙂
    .-= Dasche Bledsoe´s last blog ..Attention Bingo Loving Ladies =-.

  • Heh heh…maybe if all good little boys and girls write to him, this Christmas wish will come true. I’m pretty sure I’m on his nice list – Satan, not Santa 🙂

  • Too funny, I believe I could add at least a dozen more, the one on the tip of my tongue is good old Jon Gosselin or Paris Hilton or well you get it 🙂

    By the way. Tis the season to be TIRED. I am sorry to have been away for awhile, but the holiday season tends to take all your free time and blogging time away from you. With that being said, I wish you a Very Merry Holiday and hope you get to enjoy many warm smiles with your whole family, kindest regards Glenn and all your friends at MOB 🙂
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..The Black Frame of Mind: Part Deux =-.

  • Thanks MOB! The list is definitely a condensed version! Jon, and soon-to-be ex Kate, Paris, Miley, Madonna, her jailbait boyfriend, any of the Jacksons, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Britney…with so much ammunition, I needed to draw the line somewhere 🙂 Happy Holidays to you as well, and best wishes for the New Year!

  • Pingback: We Work For Cheese » Blog Archive » So Many Possibilities, So Little Time()

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