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Cheese In The News – Vol. 4

AFTER YOU FIGHT OVER IT, YOU CAN HEAL YOURSELF WITH IT.

So I know you’ve all been wondering, where the hell has Nicky been all week and what the hell is new with cheese?

Well, in between the kids, the job, and all the things that go along with all that, Nicky has been working on a major project for one of her courses while studying for the mid-term exam of her other course.  Somewhere along the line, she kind of lost her mind and started referring to herself in the third person.  But she digresses.  On to cheese news!

Choose Your Cheese Already!

The next time you’re at Chuck E. Cheese in Memphis, remember to wear body armor.  Some moron asked a woman how long she was planning on being at a vending machine.  The woman replied she was going to take her time.  Them’s apparently fightin’ words when you’re an inbred, cousin-marrying, missing-several-chromosomes, Neanderthal, played-himself-in-Deliverance SOB.  Yup, you guessed it.  Sir Fistalot belted her one.  His parents must be so proud.

A Whole New Cheese Spread

U.S. Alpine skiing star Lindsey Vonn has been wrapping her leg in cheese to treat a deep bruise.  Not just any old cheese, but a particular European curd cheese called topfen.  The U.S. Olympic team’s chief doctor was quick to make it known he had NOT prescribed this remedy.  Apparently, the treatment was administered in Austria, where Vonn was injured.  In a totally unrelated story, the Austrian government announced a miraculous economic recovery in the topfen industry.  They credit the financial upswing to stupid foreign athletes who will believe any crap we tell them.

Nicky’s Always Known Cheese is Beautiful

But now Prudence Staite , a brilliantly talented artist, has made a booming business out of cheese art.  Nicky’s got nothing sarcastic to say about someone who sculpts cheese.  Not even if the artist chose to sculpt a cheese bust of Barack Obama.  Gotta love a person who loves cheese that much.  Check it out.

Sigh.  Nicky thinks everyone should be so devoted to cheese.

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