Cheese In The News – Vol. 5

cheese grater


A California man, Robert Ferguson, was sentenced to 8 years in prison for stealing a bag of shredded cheese.  He was nearly given life in prison, due to California’s 3-strikes law, but a psychiatrist’s report resulted in a reduced sentence.  OK, so what if this guy spent 22 of the last 27 years in prison?  And yes, I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a hungry orphan to feed.  But life in prison?!  C’mon….it was CHEESE!  Cheese could tempt a saint!  You want to punish him?  Make him listen to Susan Boyle sing “I Dreamed a Dream” every day for the rest of his life.  He’ll never steal again.  Alright, I did a bit more research.  Turns out, he also stole some woman’s wallet.  Maybe he wanted to pay for the cheese?


It would seem that the sales of French cheeses like Brie and Roquefort are declining in France.  The country internationally renowned for haughtiness and ingesting copious amounts of smelly, runny cheese has apparently turned to the dark side.  While they still eat tons of cheese, increasing amounts of it come in plastic wrap, as well as foreign cheeses like Feta and Mozzarella.  How does one solve such a dilemma?  With half-naked women of course!  They’ve put out a calendar called From’Girlsin the hopes of attracting the population back to French cheese.  Hey, it was either that or tell Lindsey Vonn that bathing in Camembert can cure shin splints!


I’d written in a previous blog about a woman getting assaulted at a Chuck E. Cheese.  This week I’ve read 2 articles about other Chuck E. Cheese incidents.  The first was about a little girl left behind at a Chuck E. Cheese in Chicago, and the other about jury selection beginning for a case of deadly shooting outside a Chuck E. Cheese in Fresno.  There have been a whole whack of other similar events in the past, and all across the country.  This week I thought “How is this outfit still around?!”  Then I realized it’s because people still go there.  Lots of them.  Why?  We don’t have them here in Canada, at least not in my part of it, so I really don’t get it.  What is so special about this place?

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