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Cheese In The News – Celebrity Edition

This week, Glenn Beck’s honesty about news really being an entertainment money machine has inspired me. He wasn’t my only source of inspiration, though.

CHEESE ATTEMPTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY INFILTRATING THE MEDIA

Cheese has been maneuvering into a position of power, clearly trying to usurp control of the most powerful country in the world by using the entertainment industry to brainwash the masses.

This week, in a stunning twist, one of Lost’s most beloved characters, Hugo, mentions cheese: “I got like, six different kinds of cheeses. I don’t even know what they are, but the lady at the store said they were good, so…figured you’d like cheese because…everybody likes cheese.” Everybody. Likes. Cheese.

Lady Gaga, the he/she/it thing rocking the music world recently admitted to requesting tea and cheese backstage. Just because she/he/it is so “normal” and “down to earth”. Sure…just like the rest of us.

And once cheese gets a hold of you, it doesn’t let go. Actress Amanda Peet is quoted as saying “If I had to give up cheese or chocolate, I’d give up chocolate in a heartbeat.”

The signs have been around for quite a while. Even Charles de Gaulle tried to warn us: “How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?” Because the cheese cannot be governed.

But the final proof came yesterday, when Ziva, the incredibly talented blogger from Finland best known for her cookies , made this bold statement: “Melted cheese is what Satan eats.” And yet, she is not immune to the cheese. She still gave WWFC this lovely award.

Feels Like Home

We’ve admitted we work for cheese. And we make you feel at home. World domination is imminent.

###

This is one of those awards that are meant to be passed along, so we had quite a dilemma on our hands. There are several amazing, talented writers that we have had the pleasure of connecting with. Awesome people we now consider friends. After much deliberation between co-blogger Mike and myself, we’ve narrowed it down to 2:

Linda over at The Good, The Bad, The Worse: She is an absolute sweetheart, a hip grandmother who loves rap music and leopard shoes. She is witty, and funny and real.

Glenn over at Man Over Board: His site is awesome, funny and informative and he has been visiting us regularly for a while now. He once commented that he feels like he knows us, and we feel the same way.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to prepare for the coup. Please feel free to try and bribe us for mercy.

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  • That award looks so pretty on your blog!

    Now, about that cheese. I am not going to stand here and just let cheese take over the world. I’ve lost too many good friends to cheese to let it happen. First Satan, then Lady Gaga (although experts are still debating whether they are actually the same person or not.) That said, what do you want? I’ll give you almost anything to back down and let chocolate keep the world. Just name your prize. Some more cookies? A potted plant? Three AA batteries and a piece of gum? A bucket of premium Icelandic volcano ash? All of the above?
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..We Said Cash, Not Ash! =-.

  • That award looks so pretty on your blog!

    Now, about that cheese. I am not going to stand here and just let cheese take over the world. I’ve lost too many good friends to cheese to let it happen. First Satan, then Lady Gaga (although experts are still debating whether they are actually the same person or not.) That said, what do you want? I’ll give you almost anything to back down and let chocolate keep the world. Just name your prize. Some more cookies? A potted plant? Three AA batteries and a piece of gum? A bucket of premium Icelandic volcano ash? All of the above?
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..We Said Cash, Not Ash! =-.

  • Nicky and Mike! I can’t tell you how deeply touched I am by this award! We have a marvelous wine and cheese (or should I say cheese and wine) shop here in town. I think I’m going to celebrate this award by going over this afternoon and getting some of that wonderful cheese with truffles to celebrate! A world without cheese would be like a world without sin. How fun would that be? Not!

  • Nicky and Mike! I can’t tell you how deeply touched I am by this award! We have a marvelous wine and cheese (or should I say cheese and wine) shop here in town. I think I’m going to celebrate this award by going over this afternoon and getting some of that wonderful cheese with truffles to celebrate! A world without cheese would be like a world without sin. How fun would that be? Not!

  • Ziva – None are safe, mmwahahahah! Not even those with sisu. That being said, we will have to wait for the ash clouds over Europe to dissipate before we send Lady Sat…I mean, Gaga to invade and conquer Finland. You have time to amass many cookies and AA batteries. This will never stop us, of course, but it will mean we shall be merciful and allow you one chocolate chip per month.

    Linda – Hon, how on earth could we not give you this award?! I swear, there are times I wonder if we really were separated at birth! January girls, Aquarians, leopard shoes, knives under the pillow, little lies and a love of cheese….and besides all the similarities, you offered to let me bunk with Harry!

  • I think if cheese wants to take over the world, then we are all doomed to be taken over. Cheese is already dominant all over the globe.
    .-= Ratty´s last blog ..Fast Old Squirrel =-.

  • Cheese is powerful, but like Superman and Toyota cars, it has one fatal flaw: It can be eaten.

    So send all the cheese you want, Nicky and Nicky’s somewhat mysterious behind-the-scenes crew of two, but this is America you’re fucking with, and when the going gets tough, American’s will unbuckle down amd do what they do best: Eat! Eat everything in sight. Eat until they puke and then keep eating some more. Eat until they die, and still keep eating, reflexively, in the same way that chickens sometimes run around the barnyard after their heads have been loped off.

    It’ll be an epic battle to the death (starring Russell Crowe as the USA), as giant rounds of angry frommage spread out across the land, only to be confronted by giant fondue pots, cheese-stick fryers, cheese dryers (for making the cheese dust that goes on Cheetos), and our secret weapon, giant George Foreman grills, upon which we will make the most delicious giant grilled-cheese sandwiches. And when the battle is done we will march–waddle, actually–to victory, just as we’ve always done in war, Vietnam and the Middle East excepted, of course.

  • Hey, guess what’s in the ad to the left of this box as I type? A Papa John’s pizza ad, that’s what! More cheese eaten! Die cheese, die! Give me liberty and a pill for lactose intolerance, or give me heartburn and a bad case of gas!

  • Ratty – You’ve already realized the futility of attempting to fight back. Excellent! Spread the word or at least spread some cream cheese on a bagel.

    Mike – Yessssss, keep believing the cheese’s fatal flaw is that it can be ingested. That is all part of our master plan. (rubbing hands together in an evil manner)

    Eating the cheese is what gives the cheese it’s power, silly man! Eat as much of it as you can, eat it until you are so bloated you must roll away from the table, eat it until your bowels are so backed up you lie helpless, writhing on the bathroom floor pleading for relief. The cheese always wins. Always.

    Bring on Russel Crowe. Cheese will kick his Kiwi/Aussie ass. Bring on the George Foreman grill. Your weapons ultimately serve cheese’s goal by serving more cheese. Do you not see how perfect it is? You aid us in your own demise!

    And BTW, how presumptuous of you to assume I meant America when I referred to the most powerful country in the world. I was, of course, referring to Canada. Everyone knows that Canada is the real force to be reckoned with, what with our moose steaks, dogsleds, “cheques”, hockey and Canadian Whiskey. And who can forget about the RCMP and CSIS? Our guys make Homeland Security look like a bunch of sick fucks who enjoy a good round of ‘Waterboard the Insurgent” in between plots to overthrow South American governments. Canada is obviously cheese’s primary target, knowing full well that the rest of the world will crumble when Canada is toppled.

    Cheese, however, was clever enough to use American media because for all our strengths, Canada’s entertainment industry generally sucks. We are responsible for inflicting Celine Dion on the rest of the world. Not even Rush, William Shatner and Cirque du Soleil can make up for that.

  • Wow, Nicky, since when are you swearing like a sailor! I like that in a girl! I put up my award Darling, and it looks gorgeous! Thank you again! (Mike too!)

  • We’re not worried about Canada down here in the states. You’re the sort of fighters who punch somebody, then say, “Oh, sorry. Are you quite sure you’re all right?” Remember when you guys almost burned down our White House at the request of the British? We’re still laughing about that one, and we kicked their asses anyway. But Celine is pretty cheesy, I’ll give you that.

    Anyway, I guess we’ll know if cheese’s plot to overthrow the world is succeeding when North America is topped with cheese, like a giant pizza, but nothing too spicy because Canadians don’t much like spice. Homeland Security, by the way, is a bunch of sick fucks to most people here, and not nearly as efficient as the RCMP. Or as well dressed. But they’re very, very well armed. 😉
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Sunday Night Is Pizza Night At My House =-.

  • We’re not worried about Canada down here in the states. You’re the sort of fighters who punch somebody, then say, “Oh, sorry. Are you quite sure you’re all right?” Remember when you guys almost burned down our White House at the request of the British? We’re still laughing about that one, and we kicked their asses anyway. But Celine is pretty cheesy, I’ll give you that.

    Anyway, I guess we’ll know if cheese’s plot to overthrow the world is succeeding when North America is topped with cheese, like a giant pizza, but nothing too spicy because Canadians don’t much like spice. Homeland Security, by the way, is a bunch of sick fucks to most people here, and not nearly as efficient as the RCMP. Or as well dressed. But they’re very, very well armed. 😉
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Sunday Night Is Pizza Night At My House =-.

  • Linda – I honestly do try to control my potty mouth, but sometimes it gets away from me! You are so welcome 🙂

    Mike – See, years of being overly polite have lulled you into a false sense of security. It only took a couple hundred years, but this plan is so coming together now!

  • Linda – I honestly do try to control my potty mouth, but sometimes it gets away from me! You are so welcome 🙂

    Mike – See, years of being overly polite have lulled you into a false sense of security. It only took a couple hundred years, but this plan is so coming together now!

  • I’m having a hard time deciding if I want to be on America’s side or Canada’s side in this epic cheese battle for world domination. I like America. But I also like Canada. America thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. But Canada did produce Celine Dion. But then Canada was rude and called Bush a moron, but then agian, it’s not like America actually elected him President. I can’t win. I say Finland will take over the world. First, we’ll go on to win the Hockey World Championships and then, while America and Canada are busy blaming each other, we’ll take over the world. Using no cheese at all.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..We Said Cash, Not Ash! =-.

  • I’m having a hard time deciding if I want to be on America’s side or Canada’s side in this epic cheese battle for world domination. I like America. But I also like Canada. America thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. But Canada did produce Celine Dion. But then Canada was rude and called Bush a moron, but then agian, it’s not like America actually elected him President. I can’t win. I say Finland will take over the world. First, we’ll go on to win the Hockey World Championships and then, while America and Canada are busy blaming each other, we’ll take over the world. Using no cheese at all.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..We Said Cash, Not Ash! =-.

  • Ahhhh you GUYS!!!!!!!!!! (of course when I say guys that means both genders, it’s the new metro-gender way to say Peeps) OK so I made that up, as I do on most everything I write, except when I talk about cheese (rarely), I am dead serious about cheese, even more serious when it is on top of a burger between two slices of bun. But I digress

    Ahhhh you GUYS!!!!!!! that was so nice of you to think of us for this beautiful and meaningful award. Now
    I too will have to think diligently to award it to a deserving blog who I believe would appreciate it, even though there is no cash value attached. By the way there isn’t a large cash award with this,like the Nobel peace Prize or something? Maybe a good block of cheddar maybe? Hell I am not above an aged Gouda. Maybe perhaps a coupon for sliced American at the grocery market?

    But in all seriousness the “Feels Like Home Award” was very thoughtful and appreciated, even though you have no idea what being in my home is like, if you did you would run, fast.

    Now it’s time for breakfast, today we are having grilled cheese, mac and cheese, with some cheesecake for desert.
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Perfect Retirement Job =-.

  • Ahhhh you GUYS!!!!!!!!!! (of course when I say guys that means both genders, it’s the new metro-gender way to say Peeps) OK so I made that up, as I do on most everything I write, except when I talk about cheese (rarely), I am dead serious about cheese, even more serious when it is on top of a burger between two slices of bun. But I digress

    Ahhhh you GUYS!!!!!!! that was so nice of you to think of us for this beautiful and meaningful award. Now
    I too will have to think diligently to award it to a deserving blog who I believe would appreciate it, even though there is no cash value attached. By the way there isn’t a large cash award with this,like the Nobel peace Prize or something? Maybe a good block of cheddar maybe? Hell I am not above an aged Gouda. Maybe perhaps a coupon for sliced American at the grocery market?

    But in all seriousness the “Feels Like Home Award” was very thoughtful and appreciated, even though you have no idea what being in my home is like, if you did you would run, fast.

    Now it’s time for breakfast, today we are having grilled cheese, mac and cheese, with some cheesecake for desert.
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Perfect Retirement Job =-.

  • The day Finland wins the World Hockey Championship will be a cold day in the fondue pot, Ziva. It’s been, what, 48 years since Finland won? And now I’m pretty sure they could save a lot of money by just giving the gold medal to Russia and Canada every other year, with Sweden getting the bronze and Finland showing up just to give Sweden somebody to play against.

    And watch your loyalties, Ziva. It would be good for you to remember who it is that makes Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and it ain’t Canada.
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Sunday Night Is Pizza Night At My House =-.

  • The day Finland wins the World Hockey Championship will be a cold day in the fondue pot, Ziva. It’s been, what, 48 years since Finland won? And now I’m pretty sure they could save a lot of money by just giving the gold medal to Russia and Canada every other year, with Sweden getting the bronze and Finland showing up just to give Sweden somebody to play against.

    And watch your loyalties, Ziva. It would be good for you to remember who it is that makes Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and it ain’t Canada.
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Sunday Night Is Pizza Night At My House =-.

  • Glenn – if that’s what you have for breakfast, we are so there – however scary your home may be! In all seriousness, it is our pleasure. We enjoy your visits and we love your site.

    Ziva – Sweet, silly Ziva. Finland winning the World Hockey Championships, then taking over the world. Without using cheese. This is why I have a crush on you. You have such a great sense of humour 🙂
    Seriously, this really isn’t that difficult. Canada gave the world hockey, John Candy, Evangeline Lilly, Superman, Ren and Stimpy, Alexander Graham Bell, and the Blackberry. We’ve more than made up for Celine. And we’re known world-wide for being extremely polite even when we’re kicking ass. Yes, we called Bush a moron. In our defense, Bush is a moron. We’re honest to a fault. Everybody loves us. Hey, if you don’t believe me, go check out Jen over at redheadranting.com. She just wrote a whole post about how wonderful we are. So fear not, when we take over the world, we’ll be very nice about it. We’ll bring shoes. 🙂

  • Glenn – if that’s what you have for breakfast, we are so there – however scary your home may be! In all seriousness, it is our pleasure. We enjoy your visits and we love your site.

    Ziva – Sweet, silly Ziva. Finland winning the World Hockey Championships, then taking over the world. Without using cheese. This is why I have a crush on you. You have such a great sense of humour 🙂
    Seriously, this really isn’t that difficult. Canada gave the world hockey, John Candy, Evangeline Lilly, Superman, Ren and Stimpy, Alexander Graham Bell, and the Blackberry. We’ve more than made up for Celine. And we’re known world-wide for being extremely polite even when we’re kicking ass. Yes, we called Bush a moron. In our defense, Bush is a moron. We’re honest to a fault. Everybody loves us. Hey, if you don’t believe me, go check out Jen over at redheadranting.com. She just wrote a whole post about how wonderful we are. So fear not, when we take over the world, we’ll be very nice about it. We’ll bring shoes. 🙂

  • Don’t listen to him, Ziva. He’s obviously still high on cheap, non-organic mushrooms! And FYI, we have a Hershey’s factory here in Canada.

  • Don’t listen to him, Ziva. He’s obviously still high on cheap, non-organic mushrooms! And FYI, we have a Hershey’s factory here in Canada.

  • Aw! Congrats on the award! And I think cheese should rule the world!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Eleven] =-.

  • Thanks Meleah! If we do take over the world, there’s definitely a seat of power reserved for you 🙂

  • A blog that mentions Hugo and cheese in the same sentence is a place I need to hang out.Congrats on your award and for passing it on to two of my favorite bloggers!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Memories of The Bullfrog Song =-.

  • Thanks Buggy! And feel free to hang out as long as you like, we enjoy the company 🙂
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Cheese In The News – Celebrity Edition =-.

  • I’ll have you both know that Finland won the World Hockey Championship as recently as 1995. That was practically yesterday. And lately, we’ve been a lot, well at least somewhat, better than Sweden.

    I guess I’m just going to have to wait and see who manages to take over the world. Chances are it will be India and I won’t even have to decide between awesome shoes and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..I Found Nostradamus! =-.

  • I’ll have you both know that Finland won the World Hockey Championship as recently as 1995. That was practically yesterday. And lately, we’ve been a lot, well at least somewhat, better than Sweden.

    I guess I’m just going to have to wait and see who manages to take over the world. Chances are it will be India and I won’t even have to decide between awesome shoes and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..I Found Nostradamus! =-.

  • Jen

    Both those guys are great and deserve the award. Hell, I can’t type a sentence to save my life today. I stumbled you under cheese/humor..go figure, world domination is fast approaching.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Oh Canada! =-.

  • Jen

    Both those guys are great and deserve the award. Hell, I can’t type a sentence to save my life today. I stumbled you under cheese/humor..go figure, world domination is fast approaching.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Oh Canada! =-.

  • Ziva – That could be Finland’s new slogan “We’re somewhat better than Sweden”. That should have the Finnish tourism industry booming. When the ash cloud disappears, of course!

    Jen – I know what you mean, there are days it takes me longer to write a comment than it took me to write the whole post. Thanks for the stumble!
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Cheese In The News – Celebrity Edition =-.

  • Ziva – That could be Finland’s new slogan “We’re somewhat better than Sweden”. That should have the Finnish tourism industry booming. When the ash cloud disappears, of course!

    Jen – I know what you mean, there are days it takes me longer to write a comment than it took me to write the whole post. Thanks for the stumble!
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Cheese In The News – Celebrity Edition =-.

  • YAY! I will gladly accept that seat!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Eleven] =-.

  • I love Lady GaGa as much as the next person (Hey, next person: you love Lady GaGa, right?) but…tea and cheese? I’m a little freaked out.

  • Welcome Rena! I think it depends on who the next person is….if it’s me than you don’t love her/him/it very much at all!

  • I think I’d have to go the other way if forced to give up cheese or chocolate. That could just be my lactose intolerance speaking.
    .-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..Reflecting on the months before magic ears =-.

  • Welcome Joey! I can totally understand devotion to chocolate. If cheese didn’t exist, this site would probably have been We Work For Chocolate. 🙂

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