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Cheese In The News – Vol. 8

empty plateGear up for mass listeria, folks!

Silani Sweet Cheese Ltd. of Ontario is voluntarily recalling their Silani brand mozzarella. So far, nobody’s gotten sick, or died, or sued. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency said “The contaminated cheese may not look or smell spoiled, but it may look or smell like a Toyota.”

 

Turns out cheese is poplular among junkie crack ‘hos…who knew?

A 61-yr. old Texas grandmother was sentenced this week to almost six years in prison for selling drugs, including “cheese” heroin. I initially thought that meant she was lacing actual cheese with heroin. Then I wondered if we could score some for our next cheese review. Turns out, cheese heroin is really ground heroin mixed with an over-the-counter sleep aid. Oh well, guess we’ll just have to review a boring non-hallucenogenic garden-variety cheese. Sigh. Granny also got busted with 8 guns. I was going to work in a “Kill Granny” reference here, but then I read a couple of the article’s comments that baffled me. The first was “One less voter for the Dems”. Huh? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that drug pushing, gun-toting grannies are not tearing themselves away from their meth labs to vote. For anyone. You stoopid moron. The other comment was by an outraged citizen who whined that his best friend got 8 years and only had 2 guns and meth and cash. It’s so unfair. Anyone want to start a petition?

That is some cheesey shit.

Via Cheese, LLC of Swanton, Vermont has settled with the Department of Environmental Conservation’s Compliance and Enforcement Division (DEC) and will pony up $10,000 in fines. It would seem the company was taking an unauthorized dump in the wrong place. Via Cheese unloaded waste whey and process waste water into a manure pit. The DEC was called in as a result of a citizen complaint that Via didn’t flush.

Please join us for a moment of silence while we remember the cheese.

A semitrailer loaded with cheese crashed and burned in Minnesota this week. The truck crossed four lanes of traffic on Interstate 90, crashed into a county road bridge, rolled down into an embankment and caught fire. The truck driver escaped, but suffered serious injuries. None of the cheese survived. The families of the cheese ask that you not send flowers, but instead make a donation to WWFC instead. Really.

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  • Wow! Cheese sure has been up to a lot of strange things.
    .-= Ratty´s last blog ..Poor Little Bald Squirrel =-.

  • Wow! Cheese sure has been up to a lot of strange things.
    .-= Ratty´s last blog ..Poor Little Bald Squirrel =-.

  • Oh no!!! An entire semitrailer loaded with cheese completely GONE to waste! FOR SHAME!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Nine] =-.

  • Oh no!!! An entire semitrailer loaded with cheese completely GONE to waste! FOR SHAME!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Nine] =-.

  • Linda Medrano

    You crack me up, Nicky! I want some cheese that smells like a toyota and some of that heroin cheese too! LOL!

  • You crack me up, Nicky! I want some cheese that smells like a toyota and some of that heroin cheese too! LOL!

  • Ratty – It’s true, you just never know what kind of trouble cheese will get into next!

    Meleah – It is indeed a tragedy. But it is also a reminder to us all not to take our cheese for granted!

    Linda – I’m trying to convince Mike that the “Toyota” of cheeses should be our next review. So far, he’s not buying it. The wuss. 🙂
    I would NEVER encourage drug use (but if I score some I’ll let you know). Glad you enjoyed!

  • Ratty – It’s true, you just never know what kind of trouble cheese will get into next!

    Meleah – It is indeed a tragedy. But it is also a reminder to us all not to take our cheese for granted!

    Linda – I’m trying to convince Mike that the “Toyota” of cheeses should be our next review. So far, he’s not buying it. The wuss. 🙂
    I would NEVER encourage drug use (but if I score some I’ll let you know). Glad you enjoyed!

  • Jen

    I saw the trailer rollover on the news. I didn’t really grasp the whole cheese thing. If I’d have known about it it would have been a great fondue party. I gotta wonder how the cleaned it up. When the Exxon Valdez spilled all that oil they used Dawn dish washing detergent to clean up the ducks who were coated with oil. I wonder if they brought in goats or dogs?
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..And They Called It Puppy Love =-.

  • Jen

    I saw the trailer rollover on the news. I didn’t really grasp the whole cheese thing. If I’d have known about it it would have been a great fondue party. I gotta wonder how the cleaned it up. When the Exxon Valdez spilled all that oil they used Dawn dish washing detergent to clean up the ducks who were coated with oil. I wonder if they brought in goats or dogs?
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..And They Called It Puppy Love =-.

  • A fondue party! LOL, Jen, I think you are mocking my grief!
    🙂 No need for goats or dogs. Just really big spatulas.
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Cheese In The News – Vol. 8 =-.

  • I’d like a cheese heroin sandwich, please.

    I thought of you on Saturday, by the way. Costco was sampling its cheeses. Liberally. I filled up on herbed brie and a lovely imported apricot cheddar, then topped it all off with a nice Italian parmesan, an English sharp cheddar and a lovely soft goat cheese that was most excellent on a multigrain round.

    Wonderful!
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Poor People Can Be So Damn Rude =-.

  • Again, we at WWFC do NOT support drug use in any way. If, by some happenstance, we inadvertently come across illicit drugs, we would be sure to inform our loyal readers immediately in order to ensure their safety. 😉

    Mike, we are insidiously working our way into your thoughts! World domination is imminant!! Ummm…I mean, thanks for thinking of us man, that’s really swell.
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Cheese In The News – Vol. 8 =-.

  • Anything that looks or smells like a Toyota can’t be good. This was some funny stuff.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..15! =-.

  • Welcome Ziva! Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed. 🙂

  • Welcome Ziva! Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed. 🙂

  • Nicky, I like what you do, and I’ve added your site to my blogroll. Which, given your affinity for to cheese, seems particularly appropriate.

    “I’d like Cheese on my blogroll, extra mayo, Dijon mustard. And a Coke. Thank you kindly.”

    One note: Please don’t assume this means I have a crush on you. I don’t. I never get crushes on anybody who uses a dancing purple condom wearing red sunglasses as their avatar. It’s a rule that I have. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. I just think you’re entertaining. And I have a high need for entertainment.

    I will try to be briefer in future comments. I may fail, however. I’m a little hyper. Or maybe a lot hyper. I probably don’t eat enough cheese. I hear cheese is good for hyperactivity. It’s the high protein content. Look it up.
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Blogger Q & A: Why I Call Myself MikeWJ =-.

  • Nicky, I like what you do, and I’ve added your site to my blogroll. Which, given your affinity for to cheese, seems particularly appropriate.

    “I’d like Cheese on my blogroll, extra mayo, Dijon mustard. And a Coke. Thank you kindly.”

    One note: Please don’t assume this means I have a crush on you. I don’t. I never get crushes on anybody who uses a dancing purple condom wearing red sunglasses as their avatar. It’s a rule that I have. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. I just think you’re entertaining. And I have a high need for entertainment.

    I will try to be briefer in future comments. I may fail, however. I’m a little hyper. Or maybe a lot hyper. I probably don’t eat enough cheese. I hear cheese is good for hyperactivity. It’s the high protein content. Look it up.
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Blogger Q & A: Why I Call Myself MikeWJ =-.

  • Mike, we are honoured to be a part of your blogroll! I am, however, heartbroken that you don’t have feelings for me. You are totally cheesy and I think I’ve developed “more than an affinity” for you. Please try to look past my appearance. I don’t really wear red sunglasses.

    As for your commenting, feel free to write as much as you like. You always make me laugh. We may have to move you to the guest blogger section though. I warn you now, Jepeto does not like competition. How do you feel about death matches?

  • Mike, we are honoured to be a part of your blogroll! I am, however, heartbroken that you don’t have feelings for me. You are totally cheesy and I think I’ve developed “more than an affinity” for you. Please try to look past my appearance. I don’t really wear red sunglasses.

    As for your commenting, feel free to write as much as you like. You always make me laugh. We may have to move you to the guest blogger section though. I warn you now, Jepeto does not like competition. How do you feel about death matches?

  • OK, at the risk of embarrassing myself, I admit that I have feelings for you. Strong, mysterious,troubled feelings that I don’t understand and can’t control. Like the feelings Fabio has for romance novels, but with less hair and much less tanning oil. I can’t help myself. Anything associated with cheese–Cheez-Its, Cheetos, Cheese Curls, Cheese Logs, you name it–pulls the ship of my soul toward the rocks of passion like a siren. To use another cheap analogy I think you’ll understand, I’d say that on a scale of 1 to 10, my feelings for you would rate a Limburger.

    As far as death matches go, warn Jepeto to prepare to die.
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Blogger Q & A: Why I Call Myself MikeWJ =-.

  • Mike, I don’t know what to say! Limburger. Really? And we’ve only just met!

  • Just plain sick!!!! I loved every story, lol. Now I know what cheese heroin is, why do they call it cheese? Good to also know that the Canadian Mozzarella that was contaminated did not injure any pizza lovers. Now the truck that rolled over and burned, had anyone had the thought to gather 500000 pounds of dough and shot it into the fire along with tons of sauce could have made the Guinness Book for largest Pizza.

    See this is what happens when you don’t comment in awhile, they turn bad, very bad. Will try better next time 🙂
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..The Power of Protein =-.

  • MOB, nice to have you back – bad comments notwithstanding 🙂
    I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Maybe the cheese heroin goes well on pizza?
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..Raindrops On Roses Suck… =-.

  • 44010577

    Out of the many protein sources out there, hemp protein is the ultimate. It comes from nutrition. Go to http://www.hempproteinguide.net/ for great information.

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