Family

Dinner Notes

private alcoveHey, I’m back from Kleenex Heaven! My sinuses were so blocked this week that I thought a squid had moved in.

But I made it to my parents for dinner. Twice. You know, just to say “hi” and all that. Also, do not underestimate the power of chicken soup. I don’t get colds very often, so I can never tell if it actually works. This time however, the stars had aligned: I was sick AND there was chicken soup to be had. 2 hours later…liberated sinuses and I was no longer sniffing like a coke fiend. Crazy. Someone should make capsules out of it.

Anyhow, we’re sitting around and my grandmother asks me how my patio is shaping up now that it’s spring:

“Are the vines growing yet?”,she asks.
“No, not yet. Something’s growing but I can’t tell what it is.”
“I love your patio. It’s so…secluded.
“I know”, I say. “It doesn’t feel like the middle of the city at all.”
“It’s very private. You could sunbathe nude. You know, if you wanted to.”

She’s 98.

Later on, my mom brings out a sponge roll cake thing. I take a bite and ask what flavour it’s supposed to be.

“Lemon”, she says.
“Well all I taste is sponge. Like the one in the sink.”

I can only get away with that shit when it’s store bought, cause my mom’s a great cook. And everyone agreed anyway: it was pretty dry. Like sawdust mixed with yellow “icing”.

Finally, we’re having our tea. We’re using those classic little tea cups that turn real men into dainty men. It’s impossible to hold the little handle without your pinky springing up all dainty-like.Β  I’m drinking my tea and trying to wrap my hand around the cup just to “keep it manly”. Then my mother asks me:

“Mike, can you help your grandmother open the juice?”
“Uh…I can’t”
“Why not?”
“Because my finger is stuck in the handle.”

I’d finished my tea, but while grasping the teacup, I somehow jammed my middle finger through the handle. Now it looked like I was wearing a big dumb ring. A teacup ring. Nice going.

I wave to them with my idiotic teacup ring hanging off my hand, and shrug.

It’s not often that I slay both my mother and grandmother at the same time. I think I get bonus points for that. Either way, I’ll take the karma.

Related Posts

Share
  • So, did you get the cup off of your finger??? Too funny. You just go from one problem to the next. Hope the day got better for you. The private patio sounds good.
    .-= Marg´s last blog ..Spring has sprung in the Garden and Yard. =-.

  • So, did you get the cup off of your finger??? Too funny. You just go from one problem to the next. Hope the day got better for you. The private patio sounds good.
    .-= Marg´s last blog ..Spring has sprung in the Garden and Yard. =-.

  • No photo of the entrapped finger? I’m so disappointed. Glad the chicken soup worked for you. Hot brandy will do the trick, as well. It doesn’t exactly clearly your sinuses, but you no longer give a damn.

    Happy Easter, my friend. And plant something nice in that patio.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we’re growing "Tired of Old White Men…" =-.

  • No photo of the entrapped finger? I’m so disappointed. Glad the chicken soup worked for you. Hot brandy will do the trick, as well. It doesn’t exactly clearly your sinuses, but you no longer give a damn.

    Happy Easter, my friend. And plant something nice in that patio.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we’re growing "Tired of Old White Men…" =-.

  • mike

    Marg – I did get the cup off after all of that hilarity. I think the warm cup caused my finger to swell a bit, which is why it got stuck in the first place. The patio is great, if you missed it, scroll up;)

    Jayne – Taking a photo would have meant me finding my cell phone. And taking the picture. And transferring it from my phone. Who has the patience? I did plant tulips and they’re on the way. Happy Easter to you too πŸ™‚

  • Chicken Soup Capsules may just be the best idea EVER!

  • Sponge cake that tastes like sponge. Funny! And there’s something about drinking tea from a cup like that that just makes me feel queer. Not that I entirely mind the feeling….
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Poor People Can Be So Damn Rude =-.

  • mike

    Meleah – Yep, best idea next to my Free Cheese Forever Machine idea. I’ll get working on that one πŸ˜€

    Mike – Men need big handles and mugs full of mead and legs of mutton to throw around. I love my tea, but those little tea cups have a way of taking the man out of manliness πŸ˜‰

  • Pingback: We Work For Cheese » Blog Archive » Love For My Fellow Bloggers In A Totally Non-Slutty Way()

Subscribe

  • RSS Feed
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

Archives