News

Cheese In The News – Vol. 9

Cheese Gets Reconnected

On Sunday, I began experiencing some technical difficulties. My Internet connection kept getting dropped. I would barely have time to load a page and then bam! Gone. By Monday, frustration had quickly escalated to panic. By Tuesday, I was experiencing extreme withdrawal symptoms and contacted my Internet provider to send over a technician. He solved the problem in about 30 seconds by plugging the cable from my modem into the proper jack. See, my IP people are also the same people who provide my phone service. The jack has 2 holes, 1 for the phone, 1 for the modem. How it got switched from where it was to the other hole, where the phone cable would be if we had a phone in the basement, is a mystery because nobody touched it. Because nobody in my house ever touches anything they’re not supposed to touch. Mike did have to come by last night and reboot or reconfigure or re-something my router, but now, finally, I am back online and able to answer the 500 emails in my inbox, make an online payment for a ridiculous amount of money to my IP/phone provider for doing absolutely NOTHING, comment on other blogs, and bring you another informative edition of Cheese In The News. You’re welcome.

Roving Redhead Ranting Reporter…um…Reports

Correspondent Jen from Redhead Ranting saw this little item and thoughtfully sent it to us. It would seem that Wisconsin is truly the cheese capital of America. The state, well-known for it’s love of cheese, produced an astounding 2.65 billion pounds of cheese last year! Amazing. That’s almost as much cheese as Mike and I ate last year! Upon further research, though, I discovered that while Wisconsin does produce the most cheese, California completely kicks its ass in milk production. It would appear that happy cows really do come from California. I wonder if it’s the result of the “happy” grass that seems to grow so well out there?

Because You Shalt Not Worship A False Cheese

Chuck E. Cheese, the franchise of family entertainment restaurants that have absolutely nothing at all to do with cheese, saw a slight dip in earnings at the beginning of May. This appears to be the result of declining sales of junk food and sodas. The company plans on raising the price of a birthday party and reducing it’s discounts.  Can it be? Can we be witnessing the end of the UpChuck E. Cheese dynasty? Hopefully, their plan to counter the reduction in revenue will backfire and make the place less popular as it becomes too expensive for a cash-strapped society. I say hopefully, because from what I can see, regularly abandoned kids, burglaries, assaults and murders don’t seem to be a deterrent!

You Know It’s Only A Matter Of Time Before It Happens Here

Apparently cheese prices are getting ready to skyrocket across the pond. It’s estimated the cost of cheese in the UK will rise 10 percent over the next six months. Currently, the cost for 200g of Cheddar is about £1.90. Ouch! That’s like $10 US, and $50 CDN. Roughly.

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  • $50.00 CDN?? – does that include taxes? Or, hasn’t the Gov’t found a way to tax cheese yet?? Heh, heh.

    Just thought I’d drop by and say congrats to the Habs for winning! Yay! Now I have no choice but to root for them since they are the only Canadian team left. “Go Habs Go!” We can get the playoffs here via CBC, but my moms doesn’t care too much for hockey.
    .-= 00dozo´s last blog ..Potholes =-.

  • $50.00 CDN?? – does that include taxes? Or, hasn’t the Gov’t found a way to tax cheese yet?? Heh, heh.

    Just thought I’d drop by and say congrats to the Habs for winning! Yay! Now I have no choice but to root for them since they are the only Canadian team left. “Go Habs Go!” We can get the playoffs here via CBC, but my moms doesn’t care too much for hockey.
    .-= 00dozo´s last blog ..Potholes =-.

  • Nicky, I’m so happy your internet is fixed. I’m sorry about the cable thing, that might have been me when I was looking for the panda costume… Also, I thought cheese was supposed to cost that much? Huh.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..See You In EEST! =-.

  • Nicky, I’m so happy your internet is fixed. I’m sorry about the cable thing, that might have been me when I was looking for the panda costume… Also, I thought cheese was supposed to cost that much? Huh.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..See You In EEST! =-.

  • My God Nicky, I had the National Guard out looking for you! Alex called in a couple of favors at the Pentagon and the search team was being assembled, and a “crack team” it was since you and Ziva are always suggesting a crack connection. Thank goodness you are are safe and that we can call off the search and rescue. It was turning a bit dicey with all the international implications if you know what I mean and I’m sure that you do.

    Now about the cheese. All I can say is humph!

    I’m glad the Canadian team beat the American team and that is just because of you. I don’t understand hockey (always get it confused with Polo and wonder when they are bringing out the horses).

    I did mention to Ziva that I have a chicken costume and would be very happy to appear in the sex tape with you and Ziva if i can wear my own costume. (She is probably the one who encouraged you to don that dreadful Panda suit.) I’m thinking something leopard-like for you, since you already have the shoes. What do you think?-

  • My God Nicky, I had the National Guard out looking for you! Alex called in a couple of favors at the Pentagon and the search team was being assembled, and a “crack team” it was since you and Ziva are always suggesting a crack connection. Thank goodness you are are safe and that we can call off the search and rescue. It was turning a bit dicey with all the international implications if you know what I mean and I’m sure that you do.

    Now about the cheese. All I can say is humph!

    I’m glad the Canadian team beat the American team and that is just because of you. I don’t understand hockey (always get it confused with Polo and wonder when they are bringing out the horses).

    I did mention to Ziva that I have a chicken costume and would be very happy to appear in the sex tape with you and Ziva if i can wear my own costume. (She is probably the one who encouraged you to don that dreadful Panda suit.) I’m thinking something leopard-like for you, since you already have the shoes. What do you think?-

  • 00dozo – Taxes on cheese?! Bite your tongue! Thanks for the congrats, I can only imagine the pain it caused you 🙂

    Lemmikki – I thought it might have been you! I have already forgiven you (I can never stay mad at you). If that’s what you consider a “normal” price for cheese, I think I can understand your aversion to it!

    Linda – LOL! “Crack” team, indeed!! I’m very relieved to have avoided being the cause of an international incident! Have no fear, nothing could keep me away for long. I briefly imagined hockey players on horses wearing skates, until I read the next paragraph and started imagining you in a chicken costume! Hahahaha, do I dare mention that if I were to don a leopard costume, it could be dangerous for you? After all, leopards eat chickens…oh, I dare! 🙂

  • 00dozo – Taxes on cheese?! Bite your tongue! Thanks for the congrats, I can only imagine the pain it caused you 🙂

    Lemmikki – I thought it might have been you! I have already forgiven you (I can never stay mad at you). If that’s what you consider a “normal” price for cheese, I think I can understand your aversion to it!

    Linda – LOL! “Crack” team, indeed!! I’m very relieved to have avoided being the cause of an international incident! Have no fear, nothing could keep me away for long. I briefly imagined hockey players on horses wearing skates, until I read the next paragraph and started imagining you in a chicken costume! Hahahaha, do I dare mention that if I were to don a leopard costume, it could be dangerous for you? After all, leopards eat chickens…oh, I dare! 🙂

  • Price hikes on cheese in England?! But that’s the ONLY place where Cotswold comes from. And why is that exactly? There’s a project for you, Nicky. Why can’t we make Cotswold here in California where all the happy cows are? We could call it Calswold.

    So glad you’re back online.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we revisit "Hindsight Is The Booby Prize…" =-.

  • Price hikes on cheese in England?! But that’s the ONLY place where Cotswold comes from. And why is that exactly? There’s a project for you, Nicky. Why can’t we make Cotswold here in California where all the happy cows are? We could call it Calswold.

    So glad you’re back online.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we revisit "Hindsight Is The Booby Prize…" =-.

  • Suddenly I find myself wanting to wear a chicken costume really badly. Weird that..
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..See You In EEST! =-.

  • Suddenly I find myself wanting to wear a chicken costume really badly. Weird that..
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..See You In EEST! =-.

  • Ziva, there’s something strangely erotic about all those feathers, don’t you think?

  • Ziva, there’s something strangely erotic about all those feathers, don’t you think?

  • My kids are all TERRIFIED of Chuck E Cheese. Especially the 16 year old. So Freaky Chuck E is having some problems… I am not surprised considering how scary that place can be! 🙂
    .-= Katherine´s last blog ..Candy is Dandy =-.

  • My kids are all TERRIFIED of Chuck E Cheese. Especially the 16 year old. So Freaky Chuck E is having some problems… I am not surprised considering how scary that place can be! 🙂
    .-= Katherine´s last blog ..Candy is Dandy =-.

  • what £1.90 for for 200g of Cheddar???

  • what £1.90 for for 200g of Cheddar???

  • injaynesworld – See, now I knew you’d understand immediately the gravity of the situation! I’d love to get that project started, but I’m not exactly next door to California. Man, I wish I knew someone who was…. 🙂

    Ziva – And I suddenly find myself hungry for chicken. We are a strange bunch, aren’t we? 🙂

    Linda – You can make everything seem hot!

    Katherine – We don’t have any of them in my neck of the woods and I must admit that I am happy about that!

    Traveler Club – Welcome! Yes, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that is the price. Please don’t hate the messenger….

  • injaynesworld – See, now I knew you’d understand immediately the gravity of the situation! I’d love to get that project started, but I’m not exactly next door to California. Man, I wish I knew someone who was…. 🙂

    Ziva – And I suddenly find myself hungry for chicken. We are a strange bunch, aren’t we? 🙂

    Linda – You can make everything seem hot!

    Katherine – We don’t have any of them in my neck of the woods and I must admit that I am happy about that!

    Traveler Club – Welcome! Yes, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that is the price. Please don’t hate the messenger….

  • Got something for you! Can you say “Threesome”?

  • Got something for you! Can you say “Threesome”?

  • I have something for you too! Can you say “Sunshine and Cheesecake”? Bring Mike and Jepeto, by the way.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..So Much Bling It’s Hurting My Eyes =-.

  • I have something for you too! Can you say “Sunshine and Cheesecake”? Bring Mike and Jepeto, by the way.
    .-= Ziva´s last blog ..So Much Bling It’s Hurting My Eyes =-.

  • Anything you EVER wanted to know about cheese is right here. I thought maybe there was some cheese crumbs in one of your internet connections that fouled it up. But yes putting the plug in the right hole does help, at least that is what my wife told me 🙂
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Man Gets Owned By Train =-.

  • Anything you EVER wanted to know about cheese is right here. I thought maybe there was some cheese crumbs in one of your internet connections that fouled it up. But yes putting the plug in the right hole does help, at least that is what my wife told me 🙂
    .-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Man Gets Owned By Train =-.

  • Jen

    I’m betting it was Mike who messed up you connection. Don’t feel bad I had a ‘technician’ come out to my house to figure out what was wrong with the satellite. He cut a branch from the tree to fix it.

    California might have happy cows but a good cheese is not made with happy milk. I don’t really know what it is made of but I’m pretty sure there is beer involved. Thanks for link love. Glad you are back.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..When Can I Mow My Lawn? =-.

  • Jen

    I’m betting it was Mike who messed up you connection. Don’t feel bad I had a ‘technician’ come out to my house to figure out what was wrong with the satellite. He cut a branch from the tree to fix it.

    California might have happy cows but a good cheese is not made with happy milk. I don’t really know what it is made of but I’m pretty sure there is beer involved. Thanks for link love. Glad you are back.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..When Can I Mow My Lawn? =-.

  • Linda – You rock our world!

    Ziva – Thank you Lemmikki! ♥

    MOB – And everything you didn’t want to know as well…! Listen to your wife, she’s a smart woman 🙂

    Jen – You know, that wouldn’t surprise me considering he charges me cheese for all IT work! Cheese made with beer?! How brilliant!

  • Linda – You rock our world!

    Ziva – Thank you Lemmikki! ♥

    MOB – And everything you didn’t want to know as well…! Listen to your wife, she’s a smart woman 🙂

    Jen – You know, that wouldn’t surprise me considering he charges me cheese for all IT work! Cheese made with beer?! How brilliant!

  • Oh, Nicky and CheesyMike! Really, where would we be without yous … and if I neglected any other ‘monitors’ of (or contributors to) your site, I extend my deepest apologies – in appeasement of my “guilt”, please come on over to my place. I’ve got cheese, so to speak.
    .-= 00dozo´s last blog ..But, Why Me?? I’m Just a Lowly Rookie! =-.

  • Oh, Nicky and CheesyMike! Really, where would we be without yous … and if I neglected any other ‘monitors’ of (or contributors to) your site, I extend my deepest apologies – in appeasement of my “guilt”, please come on over to my place. I’ve got cheese, so to speak.
    .-= 00dozo´s last blog ..But, Why Me?? I’m Just a Lowly Rookie! =-.

  • “UpChuck” E. Cheese is hilarious to me.

    Im VERY HAPPY your internet connection is fixed and the problem was easily solved. But I do wonder how that cord was switched in the first place! How odd?!

    xoxo
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..‘Doing Things Differently™’ My Week In Review – Part Fifteen =-.

  • “UpChuck” E. Cheese is hilarious to me.

    Im VERY HAPPY your internet connection is fixed and the problem was easily solved. But I do wonder how that cord was switched in the first place! How odd?!

    xoxo
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..‘Doing Things Differently™’ My Week In Review – Part Fifteen =-.

  • Ohh! I see you have just installed Disqus? Im LOVING this!!!

  • Me too! And you just became our 1st Disqus test comment!

  • Yippee!!!

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    I have a chicken costume you can borrow. A cop uniform, too. And a lovely corset, although it might be a little large for you. It's purple and black, and would go well with green.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    The day the government or corporations try to take my cheese away by making it too expensive is the the day they'll have to pry my smoking hot cheese sticks from my dead, cold fingers.

    Please join me, Nicky–assuming the poltergiests don't keep unplugging your Internet–in founding The Cheese Party, which is dedicated to protecting the star-spangled cheddar. We'll Madison our headquarters, have a $100-a-cheese-plate fundraiser.

    Vive la fromage!

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Or, Cheesesome!

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    You women folk are making it really hard to concentrate on anything productive.

  • I think the unplugged cord occurred the same way the juice stain on the carpet and the 3/4 full carton of milk left on the counter overnight occurred…it was probably aliens. 🙂

  • Um…I hate to state the obvious, but aren't your fingers dead and cold now? Regardless, I am totally willing to co-found the Cheese Party with you! Cheese lovers unite…or at least cough up the $100!

  • Chuck E. Cheese is like Sizzler. Whenever I see or hear about them, I think, “They still have those?”

    We will never lose our right to cheese. It's the 7th or 8th amendment, isn't it?

    Don't tell Kathy Junk Drawer, but I love cheese more than I love bacon. You didn't hear it from me, though. It'll be our secret.

  • We should also petition to change our language to the language of Cheese. Everyone will just greet each other by saying cheese. And then the cheese will just cheese and cheesy cheese. Because cheese is cheese and we cheese our cheese with cheese.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    You're so cheese! I have always said that cheese, of course, is the cheesiest cheese. But if cheese abdicates, then cheese is cheese, except when the fromage is in the house. Cacheese?

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Please, Nicky, it's a fucking metaphor! I mean, it's a metaphor for how I will handle the international cheese threat, not a metaphor for fucking–I don't want to get anybody excited, especially certain northern Europeans, who are not only extremely fond of cheese, but also extremely fond of fondling. Anyway, yes, my fingers are already dead and cold, but my normally firm cheese sticks will be smoking hot and melty from firing cheese nibs at the liberal cheese-haters, and my fingers will be even deader and colder than they were after I'm done defending my right to bear–and bare–cheese.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Wait, are you saying you have poltergeists who drink your milk, spill juice on your carpet and unplug your computer's cables? Those are weirdo poltergiests. Poltergiests normally throw things and move furniture around. These poltergiests sound like they might be spectrally challenged or something.

  • We don't have amendments in Canada, but we do have a constitution and I do believe it is one of the first articles in it. It's something like “We the people who love cheese, for the people who love cheese…” I promise not to say a word!

  • Am I the only one who thinks this makes perfect sense?

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