What Would You Like To Know?

When we started WWFC, there were a few ground rules:

  1. I wasn’t allowed to say that something or someone sucked monster moose cocks
  2. We weren’t going to talk about ourselves – at least, not in a way that wasn’t relevant
  3. We were going to remain anonymous – which means no telling friends and family about the blog so we can say what we want, about who we want, whenever we want and not risk hurting anyone’s feelings.
  4. I wasn’t going to talk about my kids
  5. No being snarky to people who comment, even if they are snarky first

I think I may have mentioned that I can’t follow instructions. Well, I also have issues with rules. So, needless to say, I have broken all five of those rules. (In my defense, co-blogger Mike broke rule #1 first. That was just a green light as far as I was concerned, although I do consider rules to be a series of long yellow lights to begin with. But I digress.) In any case, Mike has handled my rule-breaking with considerable good grace.

Recently, we were given an award that asked us to share a certain number of things about ourselves. I immediately thought “But that goes against rule # 2! Cool.” But I did restrain myself. Then I visited Katherine over at Shoot Me Now. She had a “Your Story” post, where she shared a bit about herself and asked her readers to do the same. A lovely idea! I thought maybe it could be an interesting way to break rule #2, sort of, but not really because I could ask people to share stuff about themselves which would sort of make it relevant. Then I started thinking about which secrets I would divulge.  Which got me to thinking about a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about what I wanted to know about a certain “famous for no apparent reason” person. And then epiphany struck.

Ok, readers, what would you like to know? You can ask myself, and/or co-blogger Mike and/or co-blogger Jepeto any question you like and we will answer honestly. The only condition: no last names ’cause that would push Mike over the edge. Other than that, NO RULES! (Yay!). Also, if none of you want to know anything about us, that’s ok. We won’t be offended. I will, however, tell you that you suck monster moose cocks. 🙂 

The floor is yours, folks…

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  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    I would like to know a lot about each of you, but I'll limit it to 10 questions.

    1) Do any of you have a job and, if so, what?
    2) If you were stranded on a desert island, what cheese would you most want to have with you?
    3) Why is Jepeto the quiet one of the group when I strongly suspect that he's actually the party animal of the group?
    4) How did all you come to know one another and start a blog together?
    5) What's your favorite thing to do when you're not at work or blogging?
    6) What's it like to suck monster moose cocks, and do they have the annoying habit of grabbing your ears at the end?
    7) What's the worst thing about living in Canada?
    8) What are your bank account and Social Security numbers, or whatever they use for identification in Canada?
    9) How many times in your life have you been so drunk that you either passed out or could hardly stand up?
    10) On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, how bored would you say you are on an average day?
    11) What can you see looking out of your living room window?
    12) Do you believe in God? Why? Which God?

  • Thanks for being so considerate and limiting your questions. Truly appreciate it.
    1) I am the marketing department for an optical company
    2) Cotswold! Delicious and filling, it would help stave off hunger until I'm eventually rescued. Unless the island is “LOST” and then it's just until the smoke monster kills me.
    3) I'll let Jepeto answer that one!
    4) Mike and I met when we were teens. He went to a different school, but we had mutual friends. I yelled at him the first time I ever spoke to him. We've been fast friends ever since. Jepeto and I use to work together. He had/has the reputation of being a trouble maker so I naturally wanted to get to know him better.
    5) Between work, kids, school and blogging, there really isn't much time left over! But when I do have some time, I love to read. And shoe shop.
    6) I have no idea – the expression is YOU suck monster moose cocks, not I suck monster moose cocks!
    7) The COLD!!! I hate winter.
    8) These are the numbers for my bank acct, in no particular order and with repeated numbers removed 39601. 2637 are the numbers in my SSN (except in Canada it is SIN, 'cause we're BAD, oh yeah!), again in no particular order and with repeated numbers removed.
    9) I'm really not trying to avoid giving a precise answer, but I honestly never counted. I'd have to say more than 10, less than 50.
    10) 4
    11) I can see my front yard, which is pretty sizeable, lots of trees, some birds, a couple of parked cars and part of the building across the street.
    12) I guess I believe more in a “higher power” than I do in the God I was taught about as a child. I was raised Protestant, although my father is Greek Orthodox. Again, maybe my rebellious nature at work, but I don't like organized religions insisting I live my life according to their interpretation of God.

    I'm sure Jepeto and Mike will be along later to answer the questions I haven't already answered and that apply to them. Thanks for playing 🙂

  • 00dozo

    Why can't I “Login below”? Did the Login button not reach yet?

    Why do you hate the Leafs?? (Go ahead, snark away.)

  • All this time, I thought Jepeto was an imaginary love child of you and Mike.

    When are you coming to see me Nicky? My Mother lived in Montreal one winter and loved it.

    Do you drink Canadian whiskey?

    Do you eat a lot of French food?

    Are you big or little?

    How do you do all those things and not be exhausted all the time?

    This disqus is looking weird so I don't know if this will publish or not.

  • You can login below if you are a registered Disqus user. The login button never reaches.

    I hate the Leafs because I was conceived, born and raised in Montreal. This makes me genetically hardwired to hate the Leafs and all things Toronto. And for people who move here and do not hate the Leafs by nature, they add anti-Leafs serum to our water supply. I still like you though 🙂

  • If I was going to imagine a love child, he would be nothing like Jepeto!

    I don't have an answer for that…yet! I swear, I am working on it. I would love to visit you. What was your mom doing in this neck of the woods?

    I do like Canadian whiskey, but don't drink it very often (mainly because I overdid it in my younger days and have learned to proceed with caution!)

    I don't eat a lot of French food, but I do love it. We tend to eat French style pretty regularly when we have family gatherings, lots of courses, lots of wine, with salad after the main dish followed by lots of cheese and baguette and a ridiculously sinful desert.

    I am 5'4 and 1/2 (that 1/2 makes all the difference!) and I weigh about 125 lbs. I don’t know if that makes me big or little, maybe somewhere in between?

    Who said I wasn't exhausted all the time?! Truth be told, my man is very supportive and helps out a lot.

  • My Mom was a professional dancer in her young days and went to RAF places and such to entertain during WW11. She said Montreal was the prettiest place she had ever seen. She traveled all over the country with a dance troop.

    When you come, I'll show you pictures.

    I don't drink whiskey except once in a blue moon.

    I love french food and would move to Paris in a heartbeat.

    You are perfect height and weight and that is called “little” Nicky. (I'm still little, your height and 135 lbs.)

    I am glad you get help from your man because you do a hell of a lot!

  • 00dozo

    Re: Login Button: Oh, okay (???). I take things so literally that I'm easily confused.

    Re: The Loafs/Toronto: Why on earth would any sane Torontonian move to Montreal?? Unless, of course, they are Habs fans and are tired of being pooh-poohed by Leaf fans.
    I've never been further east than Kingston, but if I ever do return to Canada (which will require the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, not to mention sleep deprivation and a gravol overdose – I don't 'fly' well), I'll take a train to visit because I like you too!

    (Oh nertz, now I've lost my angry snot avatar!)

  • lindamedrano

    Uhm, Nicky, one more thing. Why cheese? Why not “We Work For Cauliflower”? Or “We Work For Chicken”? Or one of my all time favorites “We Work For Money and Fame”?, or “We Work For Awards”? (But don't tell Jen that one!)

    Also, because I am kind of a City girl, born and raised in SF, is there something unique about male moose anatomy that you know something about that I don't. I have an enquiring mind and therefore want to know.

  • Mike and I are both avid cheese lovers. And Mike will actually fix my computer for cheese. One year, I put together a lovely, huge cheese basket for his birthday. When my kids saw it in the fridge, their first words were “Oh, Mike's coming over?” After my divorce, when my kids were at their dad's, it wasn't unusual for me to have a chunk of cheese for supper. No crackers or bread alongside. Just the cheese.

    I honestly don't remember what the original conversation was about when I coined that little phrase. I do remember that it developed in a conversation I was having with Mike, about something that sucked really, really, REALLY badly. I kept searching for a way to illustrate just how badly whatever I was talking about sucked. Somehow, that's what I ended up with!

  • Actually I love it! I think it's original and kind of brilliant, (no really brilliant!) But I've always kinda wondered!

  • I didn't see that last part. But it is quite obvious why they work for cheese. Cheese is just a big fat bunch of awesomeness. You wouldn't know that because you live in SF where cheese isn't as revered as it is elsewhere in the world. As for moose cock, have you ever seen a moose? They have huge feet.

  • Well Mike asked everything I could ever possibly want to know. And good answers by the way.

    I know, what do you think of Kraft Cheese? Not Kraft mac and cheese because everyone knows that is perfection in a blue box but the singles, the square cheese that fits so well on Wonder Bread.

  • Thanks for the questions, Mike. I'll try to answer even though I'm a little drunk. I watched the Habs win tonight and even 2 measly pints makes me tipsy.
    First off, I work as a systems analyst. That is not pronounced ANAL-ist. It has to do with medical imaging, which I think is pretty cool.

    Desert Island Cheese = Kraft Singles, cause it doesn't need to be refrigerated. Sad but true, but everlasting.

    Jepeto isn't quiet. He's locked up, away from a keyboard. Your suspicions are dead on.

    I've never sucked monster moose cocks. That seems like something other people do. Like one of my colleagues.

    Some things that happen when I'm not at work/blogging is cycling, playing guitar, eating cheese, yoga, reading, and drowning squirrels. I've been known to step into a boxing ring, but I haven't been that masochistic lately.

    #8 is crazy. I like Nicky's answer. Let's throw #9 in here and say somewhere around 6 times, with tonight edging on 7.

    11) My “zen” garden. The apocalyptic destroyed tulip setting makes for nice balance.

    These days I pray to the Shimano gods. They have never failed me, and my bike stops on a dime.

  • Ok, I may get accused of being a cheese snob (which really is the best kind of snob, no?) but I'm not a fan of Kraft singles. I don't hate them or anything, they're just ok, mainly because they fit well on Wonder Bread. And I always question why their commercials make such a big deal about the 1/4 cup of milk in every slice. Um, it's cheese. It should be made with milk.

    I'm glad you didn't ask about the KD.

  • Hey! Who said anything about Torontonians moving here?! We don't allow Torontonians to move to Montreal!!

    Actually, I was just reading an article that the two cities' tourism offices are starting to work together to cross promote each other.
    I think it'll probably work better in TO, where you already have a lot of ex-Montrealers, and totally bomb here because, well because it's TO.

    Not a bad thing you lost the other avatar…I have a much harder time being snarky to a cute kitty cat!

  • I figured that anyone in Montreal who likes the Leafs would have to be from Toronto 😉

    The Habs smoked the Flyers last night! Wooo Hoooo! I didn't catch any of the game, just the score and Don & Ron. Did you see Don's outfit? Hilarious.

    Snot or kitty, you can snark! I've got thick skin 😉

  • I'm a grilled cheese purist, so I firmly believe that the true way to make grilled cheese is with kraft singles. It's not the healthiest (I don't even think it's really cheese!), but it's like a food time-machine for me. Grilled cheese sandwiches were all I ate as a kid.

  • Damn it I have yet to find the post on monster moose cock sucking, could you please point me to it and also if I might be able to copy it and post it on my blog also. It seems that is the one subject somehow we have yet to cover.

  • I have one! I have NEVER heard of ANYONE named Jepeto, other than THE Jepeto on a particular Disney movie. (Sorry, Jepeto) Are you Italian? What is your nationality? Is Jepeto a family name? I love it!

  • It's here Glenn:


    You have my complete permission to do what you will with the post, and the expression. I warn you now though, as much as it has caught on here in blog-world, people in the real world tend to look at me funny when I use it!

    Now that I think about it, I seem to remember you commenting on the post at the time, that you would absolutely love a diet that let you eat gummy worms. Unfortunately, I just discovered that when Mike installed Disqus, we seem to have lost our older comments! 🙁 Hopefully, we'll be able to get them back.

  • Hello! Jepeto is not my real name, but some of my friends and family use it. The disney character is Gepetto and has nothing to do with me. Well, lots of time people tell me “hahaha Jepeto where is pinocchio?” and i reply that he is near your asshole telling lies. (i know it is childish but hey, they deserve it). Why Jepeto? well it is a long story, but it started with a friend who's got some Venezuela in his blood. So verytime we meet i goes like Hey Luuuuiiissss waz up? Jeeeeepeto yoyoyoyo waz up? even if my name is french and is…ah what the hell: Jean-Philippe. So between Hey Juan-felipe and Jeeepppeto i guess Jepeto won. I am hungover so i will stop writing now. Thanks for your question.

  • Jepeto

    Heyyyy…..i am not a child. Well almost. I am Nicky's and Mike's worst nightmare. Unpredictable, stupid and don't forget that i have my OWN admin-login mofos. If Nicky and Mike ever have a child, it'll look like a little hairy turtle going to greek school. hahahaha!
    By the way, i am a persona. Non grata in lots of place, but still a persona.

  • Jepeto

    1) Yes and my job is to MAYBE help Canadian taxpayers
    2) Smegma, and it tastes like cheese according to my girlfriend
    3) I hate blogging, that's why
    4) I had sex with mike and then met nicky
    5) To chase my son around the house
    6) see answer two
    7) I live in Quebec, not Canada
    8) I will arrest your ass as soon as you cross the border
    9) Reverse the question to sober and the answer is 1
    10) I am always bored. So Ten i guess.
    11) A big fat racoon eating my tomatoes…motherfucker! baby gimme the gun!
    12) Yes and No and Maybe. I don't want to go to hell so i believe in Jesus. I want a thousand virgins so i believe in Allah. I like doing the Limbo dance so i believe in Jehovah. I do not believe in mankind.

  • I just re-synced the comments with Disqus and they all show up now. Yay!

  • Oh man! I cant think of ANY good questions to ask at the moment!

  • YAY. Im not really a big fan of Kraft singles either. They taste too oily. But Kraft mac and cheese is awesomeness!

  • Well, besides no rules, there's also no expiry date! Come back anytime and ask us anything…

  • Deal!

  • Honestly, the Allah thing isn't worth it. I tried it, thinking I'd have some fun with the virgins, but you only get 72 of them! Also, some of them are men and the rest are covered up in heavy black fabric. If you're Lutheran you at least get a good spanking every now and then

  • MikeWJ asked a bunch of really good questions so now I don't know what to ask… Except maybe what's the biggest/most important/most law-breaking rule you've broken? I promise I won't tell anyone.

  • I always knew you were an undead or the messiah. Anyway why did you come back from the dead?

  • I mentioned it before…having sex with Mike and writing a blog.

  • I still like to think of you as a “love child” Jepeto, because you are one of those truly romantic figures. And stop maligning the gorgeous Nicky and Mike. Their child would not look like a hairy turtle in geek school. My husband went to geek school and he has very little hair except on his head. He does not have the most noticeable neck I have to agree, but it is there unlike the said turtle.

  • Jepeto

    I am romantic, i grant you that. And it is Greek school, not geek. Nicky is greek/german. I was a geek when i younger, well a genius anyways. 🙂 Alcohol destroyed my genius cells. Good.
    You guys know about Enivrez vous, the best poem ever written, by Charles Beaudelaire? I tried to find a good english translation but it doesn't catch the entire beauty of my language. In english the title is GET DRUNK. Sounds wrong…the beauty of poetry is when words roll on your tongue and make you smile, transcends time, as it is something that we carry on our collapsing shoulders. Anyway i'll post the poem in english soon. It pretty much defines how i live my life 🙂
    What is the definition of a “love child”? A kid raised by hippies? i lived half of my childhood in the poorest country in the americas, so i guess it doesn't apply to me. But it gave me a vision of the world that i wish people had, in particular in the North. Hey i love Mike and Nicky, don't sweat, they are GOOD people, in my 1% :-). I am just a man-bitch. Or bitchman. Or i genuinely hate lots of people. Insignificant monkeys. And i like it. HouhouHAHAHAHA!!! Me monkey!

  • Profound, my dear Jepeto. Above my pay grade on several levels, but profound! And Greek school sounds more in keeping than Geek school. I am married to a Geek who happens to be Navajo, not Greek, but it's all greek to me anyway.

  • In my teens, I shoplifted regularly. I also drank regularly and snuck into bars. I also did a few “illegal” substances. Pretty bad, I know. It could be worse, I suppose. I could have had sex with Mike and wrote a blog about it.

  • Nicky, I’m pretty sure we all did those things. I definitely did some shoplifting and some drinking, but not a lot of illegal substances. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I was too nerdy to have access to stuff like that. I’m pretty sure being nerdy is a bigger crime than smoking pot, by the way. Oh well, at least I didn’t have sex with Mike and write a blog about it.

  • Nicky, I'm pretty sure we all did those things. I definitely did some shoplifting and some drinking, but not a lot of illegal substances. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was too nerdy to have access to stuff like that. I'm pretty sure being nerdy is a bigger crime than smoking pot, by the way. Oh well, at least I didn't have sex with Mike and write a blog about it.


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