“There Are Lies, Damned Lies And Statistics”

At least, that’s what Mark Twain said. And who are we to argue?

Mike, Jepeto and I were invited to participate in a funny little meme about lying. The way it works is you have to tell 6 outrageous lies about yourself and 1 outrageous truth, or vice versa, 6 outrageous truths and 1 outrageous lie. The meme is tied to an award, which I’m going to say we were given, even though technically we weren’t. Jepeto was. But since he’s a guest-blogger, what’s his is ours.  And Mike says he is going to post it on the awards page he is working very hard at building. (That does not count as one of Mike’s lies, although I’m pretty sure it is one. A big one.) In any case here are our lies and our truths. Enjoy!


  1. I started smoking when I was 11 years old.
  2. I have multiple tattoos
  3. I gained 65 lbs during my last pregnancy
  4. I foiled a home invasion by pulling a professional-grade butcher knife on the would-be robber
  5. I was held up at gunpoint
  6. I stop time
  7. I was in a bar brawl, from which I was literally picked up and thrown out by the bouncer.


  1. I first had sex at the age of 18. That’s outrageous.
  2. I saw a real zombie.
  3. I once shit my pants on my way to a date.
  4. I cherry-bombed a toilet in school and it broke the entire drainage system.
  5. I was almost born in the USSR during the cold war.
  6. I pooed with my colleague at work and we talked about texture.
  7. I have a little tail (get your minds out of the gutter!)


  1. I once jammed with Bon Jovi
  2. My favourite movie is “The Little Mermaid
  3. I once thwarted a Slovakian mugger on a train with a banana.
  4. I have an extraneous third nipple
  5. I got lost on a hike in Maine and nearly made it all the way back to Quebec, but got turned around by a bear that was stalking me.
  6. My mom craved mushrooms when she was pregnant with me. That’s how I got my name. Mike is actually short for Mycophagous.
  7. I really don’t like cheese. At all.

There you have it. Which ones are true? We’ll never tell. It’s all part of our evil plot to take over the world by driving you all mad with suspense…mwahahahahahaha! Ok, fine. We’ll tell all exactly one week from today.

And since the title of this post mentions statistics, I thought you might enjoy some WWFC stats. So, for your reading pleasure, I give you our most interesting facts and figures:

  • Number of posts, including this one – 99
  • Number of times we’ve used the following words (in posts & comments):
  • Cheese – I stopped counting after 250
  • Fuck (and variations including Fuckbook and motherfucker) – 71
  • Penis – 27
  • Ass – 25
  • Sex (and variations)  – 25
  • Monster moose cocks – 14
  • Cornhole(s) – 12
  • Crack(s) – 9
  • Beaver(s) – 7
  • Whip(ping) cream – 7
  • Porn – 6
  • Teabagging – 4
  • Slutty – 4
  • Whore – 3
  • Threesome – 2
  • Virgins – 2
  • Orgy – 1
  • Number of links to porn – 1

Yes, our families are so proud. Well, looking at these numbers has really got me thinking. Why on earth don’t we get more porn traffic?!


I mentioned above that this is our 99th post. Well, we’ve decided to do something special for our 100th! Something we’ve never done before. I’d like to invite you all over on Sunday (and feel free to bring a friend!) to try your luck at our first contest give-away! This contest is open to residents of the planet Earth. If you are not from this planet…cool. You must be 3 years or older to participate. We will not, however, allow any drooling on our site. Wear a bib. We do.

See you then!

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