Food

As Easy As Your ABCheese

Sometimes we at WWFC have some really brilliant ideas for cheese reviews. This is not one of those times.

When we first decided to start reviewing cheese and cheese-related items, one of the first things we said, practically in unison, was “Cheese in a CAN!”. This may seem weird – ok it is weird – but it’s only because, as far as we know, cheese does not come in a can here. It’s like a myth to us. We scoped out several grocery stores and no luck. Then a friend of Mike’s took a trip into the States and agreed to bring us back some. And she did. Thanks. A. Bunch.

Fun to eat or use as caulking for your windows!

Meet Easy Cheese (American). It lives up to its name. Partially. It is, indeed, easy to use. It is, however, NOT cheese. According to the can, it is actually a “Pasteurized Cheese Snack” that is “Made with REAL CHEESE!”. What an interesting concept. A cheese snack made with real cheese. How avant-garde!

There were a few other things written on the can that cracked us up. Under the list of ingredients (which includes cheddar cheese and milk, btw) comes this jewel – CONTAINS: MILK . OMG. Stop the presses.

We also thought it was strange that our can was American flavor (so that’s what Americans taste like!) but contained cheddar cheese. Then we noticed that it was also available in:

  • Cheddar flavor
  • Cheddar ‘n Bacon flavor (gotta love the ‘n!)
  • Sharp Cheddar flavor

Do you suppose those are made with American cheese?

The directions absolutely slayed us. It actually says “For best results, remove cap…” I have to admit, after  reading further, we thought for best results, we should have left the cap on!

This not-so-funny selling point shows up in 2 places and stopped us in our tracks: “No need to refrigerate”. WTF? How can you not need to refrigerate cheese?! Or pasteurized cheese snacks made with REAL CHEESE?! Nowhere in the list of ingredients does it say “weird shit that makes cheese non-refrigeratable”. Somebody needs to reevaluate the CONTAINS warning. Somehow milk doesn’t seem to be the biggest issue here.

We haven't been this stunned since the second season of Lost!

We realized that we needed to stop reading the can or we would never work up the nerve to try the stuff. So we took a deep breath, removed the cap, pointed at some crackers and pressed down on the applicator. For future reference, cheese should never come with an applicator.

Suddenly, reading the can didn’t seem to be the worst part of this experience.

Oh, the humanity!

We are strong. We are brave. We are determined. We are Canadian. We closed our eyes and popped the crackers into our mouths like sissies. We chewed. We swallowed. We didn’t die.

Our verdict? It does taste cheesy. It does not have a chalky texture like we expected. We surprised ourselves by agreeing: it’s not horrible (See Mom, being easy isn’t always bad!). The poutine we reviewed was still worse by a mile! That being said, we only had 2 crackers a piece. And then we argued over who would keep the can. In the end, Mike and I decided this would be a great time to have our second contest giveaway!

So, lucky readers, all you have to do is be the first person to guess the number I’m thinking of and you win the remainder of Easy Cheese in a can!

*Ooooooooooh*

And it’s been touched by Mike and Nicky!

*Aaaaaaaaaaah*

Your friends will be green with food poisoning envy! I’ll even give you a clue: the number is between 1 and 3.

Good luck (especially to our winner)!

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