Please Forward This Again And Again And Again…

July 7, 2010
By

…because it would seem that I wasn’t clear enough the first time. I wrote this last November and decided to repost it after I got 14 emails today from people I know and who are now automatically filtered into my junk mail file. Yeah, I’m recycling. It’s hot and my brain has melted. So sue me. Courtrooms are airconditioned, right?

A boy child with H1N1 went mising from the planet after winning the Nigerian lotery.  Please sign this petition to have the United Federation of Planets of the Apes finally get off their butts to find him.

Ok, so I have obviously exaggerated and you knew immediately that this was not a true story.  Or did you?

Regularly, I receive emails and Facebook messages letting me know about the newest virus that will crash my computer, but only after sending all my personal information to the person who created the virus in the first place.  I can’t even imagine the chaos and havoc that will ensue when the nasty hacker discovers the password to my Facebook account!  OMG, the hacker could make me a fan of scrapbooking!!!  Noooooooo…..

I am asked to help the poor, heartbroken parents of Penny Brown/Carissa Malanitch/Evan Tremblay/Ashley Flores etc. who are searching relentlessly for their poor missing children.  Amazingly, it would seem that there is a template for parents of missing children to use when posting to the net, because all of the emails/messages are worded in a near-identical fashion.  Also incredible is how all these children went missing last Saturday.  In any case, it’ll only take a moment of my time, and it could save this poor soul’s life.  After all, how would I feel if it were one of my children?  (The sender has obviously never met any of my children.  But I digress.)

And of course, there are the incessant warnings about horrible incidents that occurred to the friend of a friend of my cousin’s husband’s sister’s boyfriend’s mother’s neighbour.  You know, the one where she was driving along when an “unmarked” police car flashed sirens at her.  Smart woman that she is though, she called 911 and requested that the “police officer” be informed that she would only pull over in a well-lit area with lots of people around.  Imagine her surprise when the dispatcher informed her that the car behind her was NOT the police!!  Turns out the driver had been convicted on NUMEROUS occasions for impersonating an idiot when he was, in fact, a moron!!  Gasp!!!

C’mon people!!  If it is full of spelling mistakes, if it does not provide dates, times, locations and other real, pertinent information, if it tells you that you can make money without working, if it tells you that you have won when you never even entered a contest, then it is FAKE!!!  If you are still not sure, then check out websites like Hoax-Slayer, Snopes or TruthorFiction.com.

And , for the love of Cheese, stop sending it to me!!!

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  • http://www.ChinarensBlog.com Chinaren

    Amen to that! Don't forget the 'I'm stuck in Scotland with no money' scam too.

  • http://www.cardiogirl.net cardiogirl

    Don't get me started on the prayer requests that require you to send it to 17 other people in the next five minutes so a miracle can happen.

    And if you don't… who knows what disaster might occur.

    Oh yeah. I also enjoy the ones that explain how money will fall into your lap if you send the email on to eight other people in the next hour. And the person who originally did it received a phone the second she hit send.

    That phone call? It came from Publisher's Clearing House. The original chick is a multimillionaire.

    Oy.

  • http://stubbornfool.blogspot.com/ Ohara

    So Nicky, you are saying I shouldn't join the group “If A million Gullible People don't join this group Facebook will Start Charging Monthly Fees”?

  • http://stubbornfool.blogspot.com/ Ohara

    Oh and you are right about the heat. No I'm not referring to your brain melting. It's been too hot to write anything on my blog.

  • 00dozo

    I rarely read any spams or phishing scams, but apparently my penis is in dire need of enlargment and excessive doses of Viagara. Really, it's been a bit flaccid lately.

    Did you know that the price for an authentic fake Rolex will be increased by $2.00 if I don't order NOW!?! And why are all these Facebook people sending me their pics? I don't even have nor want a Facebook account, thank you very much.

    (Fun post!)

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    Darling Nicky! You should be here where it's a cool and foggy 60 degrees F. this morning. Are you saying that Bill Gates and Steve Jobs really are not going to send me $100 for every email I send out to all of my 2000 friends saying that they will. I got this about 20 times from people who should have known better. And if a guy tries to pull you over who isn't a cop, I say shoot the sucker!

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    One more comment, I really hate that “friends” will send me this stuff. I'm sure they probably don't really think about it, but… almost all of these damned things have a dire warning of doom and destruction if you do not comply with the goofy requests. You know, the last woman who didn't forward this on as instructed got a phone call 5 minutes after she walked away from the computer and found out that he husband was: 1. dead, 2. gay. 3.leaving her for another woman, 4. leaving her for a sheep. Have a nice day!

  • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

    Those are the ones I hate the most, too. The ones that threaten that your life will immediately suck if you don't forward the damn thing. HA! Joke's on you, asshole. My life already sucks.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    What's annoying to me is that I keep getting them from the same people even after I tell them, “please don't send me those. They creep me out.”. Jayne, I have no intention of passing crap like that on to anybody, but then I have to watch over my shoulder all day to make sure that asteroid isn't coming for my head.

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    I feel like I've read this post before. But it was very interes…zzzzz. Oh, I mean, good job, Nicky. You're keeping the world safe from con artists, and that's noble.

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    Why is everybody always picking on sheep? Why is it never goats, or chickens?

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    You have a penis? That's very unusual for a girl.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    Goats and chickens I gather are not as cooperative. Nor would I suggest a rendezvous with a tiger, Michale. Now, personally, I've heard cows are fine. Placid, you know. Or is it, I've herd of cattle?

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    They are endless aren't they?! Hell, I'm stuck in Canada with no money and nobody's ever sent me a dime!

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    I've always been tempted to hit reply on those and ask if the miracle can be that I never get another one of these stupid emails!

    OMG! I've had an epiphany! The disaster is that you continue receiving these stupid emails! That's it, I'm sending the next one out to all 3 of my Facebook friends, not to mention all 6 of the people in my contact list! I may even post it here in order to ensure it gets read by all 12 of our loyal readers :-)

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Not at all. I think you should join immediately. And then I think you should send me all of your group's updates. And then I think you should buy this lovely little bridge I'm selling…

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    It's not the heat, it's the stupidity…

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    LOL It would appear you and I both suffer from the same afflictions! :-)

    You know, I actually prefer the “anonymous” spam over the ones I get from people I know! I'm just so amazed (and incredibly disappointed) that people I know fall for this crap and send it along!

    I barely ever visit Facebook anymore. Just can't take the utter ridiculousness of it anymore.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    I hate to break it to you my love, but no, they're not going to send you any money. I know you're probably shocked by that stunning revelation. :-)

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    I'm glad you stayed awake long enough to recognize my heroic efforts to save mankind from charlatans. You're welcome.

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    I think it's I herd it through the grapevine.

    You're right. So why do guys say, “I'll bet she's a real tiger in bed” like it's a good thing? That means it's good she's going to tear you to shreds, eat you and poop you out?

    We say some weird things.

    And some stupid things.

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    You have three Facebook friends?

    I feel so lonley……

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    Maybe it's because I can't spell.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    Damn it Nicky, I think this means I have to cancel that order I placed for the little lear jet that was going to make it easier for us to get together. Bill and Steve are really letting me down here!

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    Actually, I've been told I'm an opossum in bed. One minute I'm awake, and the next I play dead. Some men love that about me.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    You are just now realizing Nicky is an unusual girl? Michael, come on. We've always known she's one of a kind.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    My father, of all people, sent me this kind of crap weekly. He was a learned man, not a gullible man at all. But, get him in front of his computer, in his email and suddenly he was a complete idiot. I can't tell you how many times I had to explain to him how it couldn't possibly be true. Especially the emails from Bill Gates or Apple saying he would be sent thousands of dollars if he clicked on something within the email, and of course sent it to ten of his closest friends.

    I suppose this means I didn't really win the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    It is a nice effort but sadly these kinds of warnings fall on deaf ears. And why wouldn't they when our very own government can sell the idea of $2billion to create 1500 jobs. I want one of those jobs.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    It is these kinds that make me want to give them my SS#. Please steal my identity, you certainly couldn't ruin my credit worse than I already have, and in fact you might improve it.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    You don't have to worry about the asteroid until 12/23/2012.

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    Well, I can see why they might like it. Opossum's are said to be successful in nature because they have undemanding biology, a flexible diet and an unusual reproductive strategy. I won't explain that last bit here, but suffice it to say that it involves the word “bifurcated.”

  • MikeWJ at TooManyMornings

    Oh, I just realized that Nicky says she and 00odozo both have penises.

    Well, I still contend that's unusual for a woman. It could be handy, though, especially if you like camping.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    This is my problem too, I don't have enough friends to make the cut off so even if I send it to all my friends something horrible is still going to happen because I don't have enough friends to make the minimum.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    In other words, my reproductive stuff is divided into two parts. Hmm. Well, I'll be! Maybe that's why I had two kids, one of each. Plus, I do love escargot.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    What time?

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    By midnight I assume, they didn't say but it's safe to assume the world will
    be destroyed by midnight. The nice thing about that is we don't need to
    waste money Christmas shopping.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    No, Nicky says she and 00odozo have the same afflictions. Penises are not afflictions, Michael.

  • http://thegoodthebadtheworse.blogspot.com Linda Medrano

    Au contraire, Darling! I'm going to shop more than ever before since I won't have to pay for any of it.

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    You are absolutely right! I should have thought of that.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    My aunt is the same. She just automatically forwards everything. I love her dearly, but these emails may just drive me to disown myself from the family!

    I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news Jen, but no, you didn't win.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Seriously?! That's like 1,333,333,333.33 per job. I'd settle for one that paid half that!

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    You and me both! :-)

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Yeah, I'm super popular I know. I was voted most likely to have 3 friends when I was in high school.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Yeah, girl! You sure showed them!

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    LOL! I love the idea of someone stealing your identity and IMPROVING your credit!

  • http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ Margaret (nannygoats)

    There is a special place in hell for those fearmongers. At least I hope there is. How many times to people have to be reminded that if it's too good to be true…

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    Well, so far this is the first reminder. I'll let you know if it works. Somehow I have a sinking feeling it won't!

  • Ratty

    I hate those kind of emails. I've been telling certain people that I know for years to just ignore them. The Delete key is a good friend in these situations. Besides, I don't know why anyone would want that Pig Boy in the picture back anyway.

  • http://www.weworkforcheese.com Nicky

    I've been telling them the same thing and also that if they can't ignore them, to at least make sure I'm not one of the 2000 people they send it to! I thought you might actually like Pig Boy, being an animal lover and all :-)

  • 00dozo

    I'm so confused, but then I'm easily confused. I have a penis?? Or an affliction? Or a penis affliction? Oh, nevermind, my jock-itch could use some Vagisil right about now.

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