Stupid People

Shaking A Fist At The Insolence Of Youth

Tipped Garbage CansSeptember. The days are sunny, the skies are clear and blue, and there’s a hint of “crisp” in the air. Yes, a touch of those cool faraway tendrils of winter which will eventually be upon us. Summer might be over, but the change in temperature and the smell of Autumn is worth it. I like September.

Then there are the drunk students.

Last week as I was coming home, I noticed a massive influx of them coming down my street. Frosh Week, of course. The week of dis-orientation for the drunken collegiate newbie.

“Just look at them”, I thought. Ahh, memories. The outings parties and carefree optimism of student life. “Let them have their fun”, I conceded. You’re only young once.

I went inside, closed the door, and dumped my bag on a chair.

*thump*

What was that?

*thunk*
*thub*
*thump*

Is it just me or does that sound alot like a plastic garbage can being kicked.

*thung*

I opened the front door and looked down the street in time to see six students casually kicking my empty garbage can down the sidewalk. For fun.

“Hey, what the fuck!”, I said as I caught up with them.
“Huh”, one of them shrugged.
I looked at them and gestured towards the bin.
They were all like, “Whatttt?”
I was all like, “Whyyyy?”
The tall one with the hair and the hat flicked his chin at me with a “Euhhhh…”
I addressed him directly with a, “Uhhhh!”
Two of them went “Pahhh..!”
“Gahhh!”, I said.
The garbage can shrugged indifferently.

Stupid kids.

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  • Has it come to this? When not even a plastic garbage can is safe? I’m glad that you didn’t have to resort to using those boxing fists of fury.

  • Loved the dialogue. Sounds like me talking to my kids in the morning!

  • lol! yeah, that old saying i heard a few years ago becomes more accurate with every passing day Youth is wasted on the young

  • Anonymous

    I would have refuse-d to lower myself to their level of trash talk.

  • Love the dialogue! Very Douglas Adams. And very intellectual.

  • Well, you told them, Mike! Stupid kids! Or is it stupid fucking kids? I love the “I was all like” and “they were all like”! That just rocks!

  • Yeah, kids know their rights these days. You can’t just pummel them like in the olden days.

  • I had to address them somehow, so we communicated using the Royal Language of Idiots.

  • Hahaha….it pretty much unfolded just like that!

  • You know me and Douglas, we were like “this”.

  • Yep, and hindsight is 20/20. Age and wisdom are some of life’s great ironies.

  • Communication should never be roundabout. If grunts are what gets us onto common ground, so be it!

  • Well, damn, boyfriend! You told them! Bet they’ll never do that again — at least not till next weekend. 😉

  • Ah, those must have been the political science majors.

  • Mikewj

    You were not.

  • Mikewj

    I’m surprised–and relieved–to hear that you didn’t get the shit kicked out of you and thrown into the trash cans for disposal! At least you articulated your concerns well. I’m sure they learned an important moral lesson.

  • It could be true.

  • Hey! I was actually a Poli Sci major!

  • They’ll find something else to be dumb around. They always do.

  • I’m at that awkward age between young and stupid and old and wise so I can’t always tell if I should avoid potentially dangerous situations.

  • that sounded almost exactly like the conversation I had with my 14 year old son – just last night!

  • hahahahaha…Katherine said almost the same thing!

  • 🙂

  • So, and based on your conversation with the bin-bashers, this means you actually understand what politicians are saying?
    😉

  • Mikewj

    Let me simplify if for you: They’re hormone-enraged teenagers, you’re not. Unless you’re armed with an AK-47, just pick up the can, wave and walk away.

  • Mikewj

    But isn’t.

  • Mikewj

    God, I wish you could. And if you could, I’d go back in time and beat myself.

  • Mike, where is Nicky? Please call her and see if she’s okay. I don’t trust Jepeto that much. Thank you.

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