True Friends Stab You In The Front

Coming, Mother....

Oscar Wilde said that. He was a smart man.

I’m sure you’ve all been missing Mike. Of course you have, Mike’s great! He’s wonderful. He’s funny. He’s smart. He tells interesting stories. Who doesn’t love Mike?!


While you all haven’t had the pleasure of Mike’s presence in your lives lately, he has still been checking in with me. I’d like to tell you about a phone conversation I had with Mike this past week.

The backstory: Mike writes for another blog, and has another co-blogger, Dan. I know. It upsets me too. It’s like he has this whole other life, without cheese.

The actual story: He called me at work. I was working. He was not.

M. “Hey, how’s it going?”
N. “Crazy, stupid busy. You?”
M. “S’ok. I’m going up north today.”
N. “That’s fucking swell. I gotta go. I’m really busy.”
M.”Ok, but I just wanted to tell you…”
N. “What?”
M.”Dan came over yesterday ’cause we’re writing another episode of the Bobbipins. It’s great! I came up with the idea and Dan used *something new but I don’t remember what because by this time I had stopped listening and was working on 4 projects simultaneously* which gives the graphics a really cool, like, magnetic look. Like that thing we used to play with when we were kids, you know…”
N. “Etch-a-sketch?”
M. “I think so, in any case, it looks really awesome! But anyway, the thing is, we were hungry and I had this thing from work, they gave it to me, I dunno, a while ago, maybe in June or something…”
N.”I did mention that I have to go back to work, didn’t I?”
M. “Yeah, I know, but listen! A while ago, work gave me this thing, because I’ve been there for three years and I’ve been working so hard…”
N. “Magna-Doodle! The magnetic thing, it was Magna-Doodle!”
M.”Yeah! Not Etch-a-sketch, Magna-Doodle! Etch-a-sketch was that other thing. Anyway, it looks like that, it’s great. There’s like, shading and stuff. Like, magnetic flakes…”
N.”Yeah, I get it, it’s amazing. Now work gave you a thing ’cause you’re so good…”
M.”Oh, yeah. Basically, they gave me a voucher to go out for supper. It was for…I could go for a supper for, like, up to $200.”
M. “Yeah, and I didn’t have anyone to go for supper with so…”
N. “Hello?!”
M. “No, yeah, I mean, I know, but you know, I kinda wanted it to be, like, a girl…”
M. “No, you know, like a girlfriend girl.”
N. “Like I wouldn’t have put out for a $200 supper?!?!”
M. “Heheheheheheh…I know, but ….”
N. “So, wait, you wanted to have supper with a girl and being unable to locate one (!) you had supper with Dan?”
M. “Yeah, well we were doing the Bobbipins and we were hungry and my work thing was going to expire so we ordered an insane amount of sushi.”
N. “Sushi. You and Dan had raw fucking fish.”
M. “Yeah, well there was rice too”
N. “Bye”

Did I mention I hate Mike? 🙂

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