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I Would Have Gotten Away With It, If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids!

I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh, I saw the photograph

The Beatles

Beach in Greece

This is a beach on the island of Kephalonia. We were there 4 years ago. Sigh.

A few months ago, JepetoΒ  was reading the newspaper and shared with me an interesting tidbit from the business section. Air Transat was looking to hire a paid vacationer for 12 months. Basically, the chosen candidate would be sent to a different, glorious location every month for 2 weeks. They would video themselves participating in different, glorious activities. Then they would blog about it. In between vacations, they would work in Air Transat’s marketing department. The company, along with footing the bill for air fare, hotel, food, drink and excursions, was offering to pay the lucky person 40K for the year.

Needless to say, I wanted the job.

I told a friend about it, and she was extremely encouraging. She would help me with the video submission Air Transat was asking all potential candidates to submit. We brainstormed. We came up with some different, glorious ideas. This job was made for me! I love to travel, to blog, I have a marketing background, I’m stupid and reckless enough to try things like bungee jumping off a cliff in Mexico into a glass of water, and I have absolutely no reason not to travel for 180+ days of the year, no responsibilities, nothing keeping me home.

Shit. Realistically, there was no way I would be able to travel that much and leave Jepeto to deal with all the responsiblities, which really just means the kids. We’re a team. Divide the team and the kids will conquer us before you could say “Tequila por favor!”. C’mon, you saw what the little one did to the cat!

Needless to say, I didn’t apply for the job.

Today, because I’m a masochist, I finally checked out Air Transat’s website to see who they had hired. Besides the fact that she got the job, I hate Kate McKenna because she’s 23, blonde and described as “enthusiastic, confident, with keen wit and sense of humour”.

Well, Kate, you may be all that but I’ll tell you what I’ve got that you don’t. Jepeto. Uh huh, that’s right. Jepeto. So, just mull on that while you are sipping Margaritas on a beach in Mexico in January. There will always be another dream job, but there won’t always be another Jepeto.

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  • Oh my goodness! Jepeto is lucky man. I feel sorry for poor Kate McKenna. She does not have any idea what she’s missing. Babies torturing cats, teens with angst. What’s Mexico, Bermuda, and the Bahama’s compared to Jepeto’s charms? No contest, I’ll tell ya!

  • I cannot begin to express the velocity of blood with which my heart spurts for you. Seriously. It would almost have been better not to know about such an opportunity.

    Also? Kate McKenna is dead to me. For being 23. For being twenty-anything. And for being spunky. Or perky. Or whatever the marketing department said about her. Kate McKenna can bite my middle-aged, cellulite-riddled ass.

    What I meant to say, of course, is that I’m sure she’s a very nice girl.

  • Hmmmm… all of this buttering up of Jepeto makes me suspicious. Okay Nicky, what did you do?? Buy something really expensive that you can’t afford? Break Jepeto’s favourite somethingorother? Lose the key to his cage? Or, god forbid, forget his birthday?? Heh, heh.

    Happy Birthday Jepeto!! (Belated or otherwise).

  • I hate to break it to you, but there will never be another dream job like this again. Jepetos, on the other hand, there are plenty of. There must be at least six or seven whackjobs just like him, you could easily replace him. You made the wrong choice, and now Kate has your dream job.

  • You took the words right off my keyboard.

  • Yet another reason why I’m single. πŸ˜‰

  • Anonymous

    I’m going to Panama next week on AirTransat. I’ll be sure and say “Hi” to Kate for you. Oh, and happy birthday to Jepeto, that lucky guy.

  • Jepeto

    Thank you all so much for your kindness. Oh and Nicky bought me slippers that are 2 sizes too small. I am the happiest man in the world. youppi do.

  • Killjoy. πŸ™‚

  • Ditto. πŸ™‚

  • Have a safe flight Dufus. Really.

  • Yet another reason why I should have met you 20 years ago. πŸ™‚

  • It’s not belated, and I didn’t do anything. It’s the one day of the year where I make an effort to be nice to him.

  • Margaret, I love you πŸ™‚ And if you ever figure out how to globally “Like” comments, please let me know so I can set yours!

  • That’s what I thought. This morning. 10 hours later, I’m not as sure πŸ™‚

  • Bite me.

  • Jepeto

    *grrrrr snap*

  • Happy Birthday Jepeto!

    And, hey, with all the nightmares happening on the airlines, and the issues people are having with the TSA, you’re better off NOT flying!

    PS: I will now and forever *hate* Kate McKenna and all her spunky-perkiness

  • So it’s really your birthday? Happy Birthday, Jepeto. And that’s my gift to you. Calling you by your fictitious name as opposed to “Porn Star Guy,” because hey — I can be nice for a day, too.

  • That’s right! Kate’s probably gonna start glowing green from all the radiation in those scanners, right around St. Paddy’s day! Thanks Meleah, for pointing out yet another silver lining πŸ™‚

  • πŸ™‚

  • Mikewj

    I checked out Kate McKenna’s Air Transat video. She’s not hard to look at and she annunciates well, but she’s no Nicky at We Work for Cheese, if you get my meaning.

    At least you have the kids Jepe…

    Oh. I get it now.

    Sarcasm.

    Well, at least you have your health. And a mature outlook on life and travel. McKenna will never have that. Not for another 17 years or so, anyway. That bitch.

  • I can always count on you to put things into perspective! Nope, she’s no Nicky at We Work For Cheese, I get your meaning. She’s about 3 inches too tall, 10 pounds too light, 19 years too young and oodles too perky to be me. That bitch πŸ™‚

    And I’d like to go on record as saying I was NOT being sarcastic about Jepeto! Good jobs ARE easier to find than a good man. And he is a good man. A crazy man, yes, but a good man just the same.

  • Those damn kids, do it to you every time. One day he’ll be grateful for everything you have given up and send you on a year long vacation to many different exotic locations with 40,000 duckets to spend on those margarita glasses you like jumping into. And that other bi-otch, you know shes probably really a man.

  • Mikewj

    Ah, love! What a sweet fragrance.

  • Let’s just see Ms Perky McKenna a year from now, with no luggage left because it’s been lost 7 times. No longer perky, as the South Americans that kidnapped her, finally released without ransom (how long can anyone take perkiness in Latin America?).

    Now she has to stand in line to collect her unemployment check because her old job (the perfume sprayer at Abercrombie) is taken. And finally her accountant telling her the tax consequences for her free rides will leave her in the streets, penniless, owing back taxes. Even her mom and dad left on their year long journey to eat their way across the Ukraine for Ruski’s Epicurean Digest.

    Just give me some hunk of cheese, watching Brett Favre retire on TV as the roof falls down around him and of course an internet connection to stop by here.

  • Thanks Sheila, but I won’t hold my breath for that year long vacation πŸ™‚

  • Glenn, you are DA MAN! (And I don’t care what Katherine says about that creepy Russian singer!)

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