Quite a few people spent the last few days of 2010 looking back, reviewing the year and making resolutions. I spent the last few days of 2010 trying to drink enough to completely obliterate 2010 from my memory. Success!
So, I’ve spent the last couple of days sobering up and attempting to remember parts of 2010 by reading every Cheese In The News post I wrote. Cheese had a very interesting year!
- Miracle cheese healed an Olympic athlete hopeful who went on to win gold.
- I began to realize how evil Chuck E. Cheese really is and wondered why anyone went there.
- Breast milk cheese was sold to the public and I discovered a taxidermy cheese shop.
- Cheese was involved in a nasty accident in Minnesota, but more importantly, MikeWJ declared his feelings for me in the comments section.
- Finland discovers what WWFC has known all along: cheese is good for you.
- Cheese finds religion and EBay.
- Cheese takes on the European Union.
- Cheese suffers a devastating loss.
- The ultimate cheese sandwich is created.
- Cotswold wins awards while, elsewhere, cheese is a hapless pawn in a blackmail scandal even while revolutionizing future transportation.
- England, home of Cotswold cheese, beat out France (those losers!) to take top honours at the World Cheese Awards.
And, while I was busy getting my drunk on, cheese was carved into a likeness of Stephen Colbert, Swiss cheese fooled US citizens by actually being from Finland, and cheese boldly went where very few men and women have gone before by stowing away on the SpaceX Dragon commercial spacecraft.
From awards and crimes to arts and science, cheese was everywhere.
Looking over all the posts, I decided I did need one resolution. No more Chuck E. Cheese in my Cheese In The News Posts. Let’s just agree that in the next twelve months, at a Chuck E. Cheese in any and nearly all of the United States of America, someone will be shot / robbed / molested / attacked / arrested / sued / injured / killed / violently murdered / stabbed / stupid / punched / kicked / poisoned / inbred / forgotten / abandoned / drunk / stoned and/or incontinent. It’s just too depressing and redundant to keep writing about the place, even if it does contribute to my feelings of superiority.
I also started to feel a little nostalgic re-reading my Cheese posts. I reminisced about my long-standing love of cheese and how it all began. Cheese and I were always friends, but one day everything changed. I’ll never forget that day. It was 1979. I was 10-years old. I had just come home from school, taken some cookies out of the cupboard, spread my school books out on the living room floor and turned on the television. Just the regular after school routine. Lying on the floor, books open, cookie in my left hand, pencil in my right, I was about to start my homework when something on television caught my attention.
An obsession was born. The cookies went back into the cupboard, uneaten. I was never the same again.