Holidays

A Year Of Cheese…A Life Of Cheese

Huhn? Ish now? Hahhhappy newear! I luf hue man.

Quite a few people spent the last few days of 2010 looking back, reviewing the year and making resolutions. I spent the last few days of 2010 trying to drink enough to completely obliterate 2010 from my memory. Success!

So, I’ve spent the last couple of days sobering up and attempting to remember parts of 2010 by reading every Cheese In The News post I wrote. Cheese had a very interesting year!

And, while I was busy getting my drunk on, cheese was carved into a likeness of Stephen Colbert, Swiss cheese fooled US citizens by actually being from Finland, and cheese boldly went where very few men and women have gone before by stowing away on the SpaceX Dragon commercial spacecraft.

From awards and crimes to arts and science, cheese was everywhere.

Looking over all the posts, I decided I did need one resolution. No more Chuck E. Cheese in my Cheese In The News Posts. Let’s just agree that in the next twelve months, at a Chuck E. Cheese in any and nearly all of the United States of America, someone will be shot / robbed / molested / attacked / arrested / sued / injured / killed / violently murdered / stabbed / stupid / punched / kicked / poisoned / inbred / forgotten / abandoned / drunk / stoned and/or incontinent. It’s just too depressing and redundant to keep writing about the place, even if it does contribute to my feelings of superiority.

I also started to feel a little nostalgic re-reading my Cheese posts. I reminisced about my long-standing love of cheese and how it all began. Cheese and I were always friends, but one day everything changed. I’ll never forget that day. It was 1979. I was 10-years old. I had just come home from school, taken some cookies out of the cupboard, spread my school books out on the living room floor and turned on the television. Just the regular after school routine. Lying on the floor, books open, cookie in my left hand, pencil in my right, I was about to start my homework when something on television caught my attention.

An obsession was born. The cookies went back into the cupboard, uneaten. I was never the same again.

Ahhh, cheese.

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  • I just watched that video and could practically feel my brain turn into cheese. I’ll never be the same again.

  • See? See?! There is an explanation for what happened to me! I bet you feel like eating cheese now, don’t you? You can deny it, but I know. I know.

  • Now this video has me hankering for a hunk of cheese too. Cheese and crackers! It really doesn’t get much better than that. Oh wait, how about grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup? Damn it, now I’m hungry!

    What are we wearing to the wedding, Nicky?

  • I actually had a hunk of cheese for lunch today. Gouda. It was awesome 🙂

    I thought I’d wear a black dress with my leopard shoes. But then I thought about the fact that it’s Ziva’s wedding and she’ll probably be wearing black. So maybe, I’ll wear white. I’m not sure. That is, of course, if she doesn’t ask me to be maid of honour. 🙂

  • I was kind of thinking leather.

    I love that photo of you sucking down red wine! Girl, you know how to make a statement!

  • Time for Timer is awesome. Of course Family Guy has a take on it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcRyKFEwGaE

  • A very curious obsession you have there. Odd but harmless. I of course prefer cheesephiles over pedophiles any day; I have never smote anyone for groping cheese. Unless it’s in somebody’s pants. That’s a different problem altogether.

  • Excellent addition, Shawn. I love Family Guy!

  • I *TOTALLY* remember that commercial. However, I didn’t realize he was super small until he hopped on the kitchen counter to make the wagon wheel of cheese.

    And that made me wonder if he had shrinking abilities or if he was just living in a super small town since he looks like he’s full-size when he’s riding the horse and dancing there in the old west in front of that saloon.

  • LOL! What, no nun’s costume?

    Hahaha….thanks, hon! I know that picture makes my parents proud too 🙂

  • Yeah, that Timer! He got me hooked on crack too. Bastard.

  • Hey god! Nice to *see* you. Thanks, I am very relieved you never smote anyone for groping cheese. Oh, wait. The pants thing.

    Damn.

  • I think he has super powers. Not only does he shrink, but he repaired the bullet hole in his hat using nothing but his mental powers AND he fused the cheese to the crackers when he created the wagon wheel so that it didn’t fall apart when he rolled it away! Is it any wonder I ended up this way?!

  • I’ve never been in a Chuck E Cheese, but my son was terrorized and traumatized by some huge freaking mouse when he went there for a party one time – now he won’t eat anything with cheese at all, coincidence?

    As for me – while you where getting your cheese on in the 70s my mother was turning me into a cheeseophob by feeding her 6 kids Velveeta (am I allowed to say that word on this blog?) in some form at least 5 days a week.

  • Honestly, I think he’s lucky it was just a mouse! 2 of my 3 kids aren’t cheese fans either. It is the bane of my existence.

    You can say the “V” word, but don’t expect us to like it 🙂

  • “I spent the last few days of 2010 trying to drink enough to completely obliterate 2010 from my memory. Success!”

    Ahahahhahahahaha! I did the same thing!

    Wait…. No more Chuck E. Cheese posts? I will miss those!

  • zzzz…whaaa? weddind?…zzzz….drools….roonnnbluhbluh….WHAT???? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! *heart attack, incontinence followed by death*

  • Not even a mention of the greatest cheese idea/fiasco/revelation of the year. Geniuses are always misunderstood…and crazy. I’ll survive this total lack of acknowledgment. Viva el “S” Cheese!

  • Oh suck it up, Jepeto! Pull out your dancing shoes! And change the underwear, Honey.

  • I love that picture! And of course I am always proud of you. Red leather would be nice, don’t you think? I think you would look awesome in a red leather mini skirt with a fitted jacket. (You could always do a little lacy brown camisole under the jacket – you know, to go with the brown of the leopard in the stilettos.)

  • Well, maybe I can still cover CEC when it’s not about someone getting shot / robbed / molested / attacked / arrested / sued / injured / killed / violently murdered / stabbed / stupid / punched / kicked / poisoned / inbred / forgotten / abandoned / drunk / stoned and/or incontinent….

    Which means it’s probably not gonna happen. I’ll see if I can’t come up with something else for you 🙂

  • Sorry, did you say something?

  • Ahahahhah. Okay!

  • That guy would have scared the living crap out of me.

    My first introduction to cheese was Velveeta. I know, it’s not even real cheese. I’m so embarrassed.

  • Haha! But once you look past those scrawny legs, that obese torso, that nose and the horrible yellow skin, he’s got charm, no?

    Hang not your head in shame…you went on to discover Cotswold!
    🙂

  • Thank you. I feel redeemed now.

  • All things come back to smegma, don’t they Nicky?

  • Sigh. They do in my house.

  • If my sister weren’t making my dress for the wedding, I’d let you dress me too, Linda. I bet a bride in a red leather mini skirt would be quite the sight.

  • Well, if something should happen between now and then, and your sister cannot make your dress, call me. I’ll get you set up really good. I promise.

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