Egyptian Revolutionaries Want Us To Rule

The city of Cairo, Egypt

I'm sure we'll be running the place in no time.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about what’s going on in Egypt. But just in case you’ve been living under a rock or spending an inordinate amount of time debating on which app to download to your new iPad, let me fill you in.

The Egyptian people are revolting. No, I don’t mean the Egyptian people are revolting, as in disgusting. I mean the Egyptian people have risen up against Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. There have been mass protests, fights between supporters and opponents that left about 10 dead and 800 wounded, and an explosion that may or may not be related to the crisis, but which was so powerful, it rocked an apartment building in Finland.

But how is all of this related to cheese? Well, it would appear that in the days just prior to the initial protest, not one, but TWO Egyptians visited WWFC! It would appear there were two particular articles of interest. The first visit was to co-blogger Mike’s cheeseburger post. I’m sure the total awesomeness of this succulent burger review had our first Egyptian visitor questioning why there were no such burger opportunities in Cairo. And of course, he talked about it with his BFF. The seeds of discord were sown.

The second was to my White Elephant post. I can only imagine the pain and suffering experienced by this second Egyptian visitor when he or she realized that we share such amazing gifts with each other with no fear of government reprisals. I can almost hear the whispered conversations as they spread the word that WWFC is the hope for the future and that Nicky and Mike should rule their little corner of the world.

I know what you’re thinking. This is hardly proof that the Egyptian people want WWFC to rule. Well, how about the fact that the Egyptian people started protesting ON MY BIRTHDAY!! See, I told you. I may just have to change my name to Cleopatra. Since I already have name issues, this should hardly pose a problem.

But, really, why stop at Egypt? You may have noticed our subtle references to world domination. And maybe you’ve noticed our not-so-subtle references to world domination. Just think about it. A world dominated by, um, I mean united by cheese. Sigh. Cue Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World“.

So, in the interest of facilitating peace, we here at WWFC will humbly accept the role of rulers of the world. We will, of course, need your help in spreading the word. And because we abhor violence, we would like to encourage our Egyptian readers, and all our other readers, to use non-violent means such as Tweeting, Stumbling, Digging or sharing the news on Facebook.

And could you please hurry? We’re going to need you all to build us a palace.

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  • Do you know, I’ve been thinking along those exact same lines. Alex has been working day and night because of Egypt. That leaves me home alone and looking for trouble. Not a good situation at all. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to send some emails to friends and foes alike outlining the advantages of having a whole world who works for cheese. We can call your new abode, “The Palace That Cheese Built”. Now, Nicky, is the time to grab the reigns! And I so glad you recognized all the signs. “Began on your birthday”! Coincidence? I don’t think so.

  • That’s what that big bang was?? I will so help you take over the world, one Egypt at the time – no one messes with my beauty sleep. Peaceful action, you said? I guess that means that dressing inconspicuously and stabbing journalists the way the Egyptian police did is out of the question.. Good thing I have a Twitter account.

  • Hmmmm… I wonder if you can make camel cheese or, if they already do, what would it taste like?

    P.S. Happy (Belated) Birthday!

  • We appreciate your support, hon! Our first order of business as Rulers of the World will be to ensure Alex is to take pictures…um, I mean, to make sure you stay out of trouble 🙂

  • Yes, that’s what that big bang was. Well, that’s my Big Bang theory anyway. Tweet, tweet… 🙂

  • Ewww, camel cheese. I don’t think I’d work for camel cheese. Thanks Dozo 🙂

  • Yes!! I cannot wait for WWFC to take over the world! Yippppeeeeee

  • Sign me up! Seriously, clever, my friend. I think Anderson Cooper needs to be notified about this and especially your call for a non-violent takeover. Then we need to make the Tea Party change their name to the Cheese Party and wear cheesehead hats.

    No, I mean it. This was seriously clever. 🙂

  • I want to know what Alex has been doing and why he didn’t save Anderson Cooper.

  • I’d tell you. But then he’d have to kill you. When he gets back that is. It wouldn’t be a good thing, because he likes you a lot and thinks you are “hot stuff”. He hates killing hot stuff.

  • If only I was this hot in my 20s when I gave a shit about such things… 😉

    All right, but then I’ll have to continue to hold him responsible for Anderson getting his ass kicked.

  • Alex knows enough to deny responsibility for anything.

  • LOL, me too! We’ve been patient, but I think this is finally the sign we’ve been waiting for 🙂

  • Why, thank you Jayne! That means a lot to me. You’ve got some Hollywood contacts, any way you could possibly attract Anderson’s attention for us? Cheese Party would be awesome, but no Teabaggers allowed! They’d only make the cheesehead hats a symbol of corruption, greed and blatant stupidity! 🙂

  • Indeed!

  • Anonymous

    I heard something about iPad apps? Are there any that I’m missing that ought to have? What do you know about them? Where can I get them?

  • Don’t do it, man. Don’t become an Apphole. You’re better than that.

  • Mikewj

    No, I’m not. You too will soon learn to despise me.

  • consider it done… err ….. your majesty or your cheesiness…

  • Nope. Soon I will rule the earth and I will banish all iPhones and iPads. People will have no choice to return to good manners.

  • Thank you! You can call me Empress Nicky 🙂

  • Nice job! WWFC definitely has to head into the realm of world domination. I will support the cause and tweet, stumble and spread the word blogger to blogger.

  • Thanks CG! We appreciate your support and will fairly reward your loyalty when we take over the CardioGirl Empire 🙂


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