Food

This Is Going To Be About Cheese But It’s Going To Be About Other Stuff Too Because I’ve Self-Diagnosed Myself With Adult ADD

A few days ago, I was going to write about the most excellent cheese ever, but then I met Maurice and decided to write about him instead but I promised to tell you all about the most excellent cheese ever another time, which I mean to do today but I just can’t seem to concentrate and figure I have probably developed Adult ADD and I could really use some Ridalin, but I think that’s wrong – no, not the drug, the spelling – hang on….Google says it’s Ritalin, not Ridalin, but whatever, I think I need some, but I’m not sure because as the title of this post says, I have self-diagnosed and therefore want to prescribe myself the only thing I’ve ever heard of to deal with ADD even though I think that it makes adults super hyper instead of focused like it does for kids because I saw it on an episode of Desperate Housewives once, where the blond chick takes Ritalin and is zooming around, making cupcakes and costumes and doing housework and solving for x and all kinds of stuff  although this was a really long time ago because I only watched the first season and dropped off during the second, but I saw a commercial for it the other day, Desperate Housewives, not Ritalin, and I was surprised it was still on and wondered if anyone still watched that show.

And…breathe.

Have you ever been working on so many things at once that your mind just gets used to racing from one thing to another, without ever really finishing a thought? Hmmmm, me neither.

So, a couple of weeks ago, Mike came over and brought with him some 3 different cheeses. Here’s where I run into some trouble. I didn’t keep the wrappers, except for 1, the most excellent cheese ever, so I can’t tell you what the 2 others are. It’s like I’m reviewing mystery cheese.

Anyway, there were 3 different kinds: 1) a soft, unripened cheese 2) an Italian-style goat cheese with red bits that may have been red peppers or sun-dried tomatoes and herbs that may or may not have been basil, and, of course, 3) the most excellent cheese ever. It really bugged me that 2 of the cheeses were nameless.

Know what bugs me more? People who slurp their coffee. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with them? Were they raised by savages? Of course, I’m not pointing fingers at anybody in particular. Just people in general, who I may or may not know, and who shall remain nameless.

Speaking of nameless, I was going to go to the grocery store and find them, the cheeses, not people who slurp coffee, so I could share the names with you, but then I didn’t. I was going to look on the grocery store’s website to see if I could find them, but then I didn’t.

Facebook ate my brain instead.

Speaking of eating, we had totally pigged out on Chinese food that night, so none of us could really do a cheese plate justice. We did make a valiant effort though. The first cheese, the soft, unripened one, was really good. It was kind of like a Brie or Camembert, but even tastier. It was even more amazing the next night when we ate it, melted, over steamed asparagus.

The second cheese, the Italian goat circle thingies, were not so good. They kind of tasted processed. They weren’t horrible or anything, not like people who slurp coffee, but definitely not something we’d buy again. We only had one each, to try, and that was it. The really weird thing is, Mike didn’t take leftover cheese home with him. Well, that’s not weird, he never brings leftovers home with him. The weird part is when I went to the fridge to see if maybe the wrapper was still on this package of cheese, the cheese was gone.

Who ate the meh cheese? Nobody. Where did it go? Maybe Facebook ate my cheese as well. Maybe it was aliens. Or zombies. Or alien zombies. How messed up would alien zombies be? Just picture Will Smith in Independence Day if the aliens GOT BACK UP after he killed them!! Awesome possum.

Here are some pictures of the 2 nameless cheeses:

Do you know what these are? Me neither. Seriously. What are they? And where did those circle thingies go? I've "heard" of magic mushrooms, but disappearing cheese...?!

In any case, the third cheese, a.k.a. the most excellent cheese ever is this:

Isn't it beautiful? Ewwww...stop drooling all over my post!

This is Madame Chevre Elite Blueberry Pomegranate cheese. That’s right. Sweet blueberry and pomegranate over a light, fragrant goat cheese. They make this in other flavours too, like Roasted Red Pepper or Cranberry and Port. Whatever. Blueberry and pomegranate. Did you get that? Blueberry and pomegranate. It’s ORGASMIC!

It's like cheesecake on a cracker.

The next morning, I made crepes for breakfast. Then we took the leftover Elite cheese and spread it inside the crepes and rolled them up. I’m thinking of leaving Jepeto and the kids and running away with this cheese forever.

Why are you still here? Go get some of this cheese. It will change your life.

This picture doesn't have anything to do with anything. It just is.

If you like this post, and really, why wouldn’t you seeing as it’s so articulate and well-written, please Stumble us or like us on Facebook or Digg us or do something ’cause I really need the cash to buy more of this incredible cheese and OMG, I just had a thought, maybe I should put some of it on TWINKIES!!!

I may not be back for a while.

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  • Anonymous

    Pity. I think one of those women could’ve been Mrs. Michael Whiteman-Jones the Second.

  • Anonymous

    I love this post, and I’d Stumble it, but I don’t know how. 🙁

  • I can un-reject them if you want. On second thought…no.

  • That’s funny, I couldn’t even see the ads because this post is too distracting 🙂

  • See that row of tiny icons above the comment box and the “thumbs up”? The third one is for Stumble. Click on it. It’s as simple as that.

    Nice to have you back, Trouble 🙂

  • Rachele

    That cheese sounds wonderful… and it comes with the blueberry pomegranate already on it? i need to know WHERE this is from. Then I’ll have to decide what wine to go with it.

  • I wondered what would happen if I licked the screen where the picture of the cheese is…

  • You’d have big slurpy lines across your screen. And you’d still be hungry. 🙂

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