Canada’s Government Falls and Guess Whose Fault It Is

So, Canada’s Conservative government fell the other day to a vote of non-confidence. That’s right. In Canada, when the opposition parties vote that you suck, they can force an election. Or something like that. This is Canada after all. Land of buck toothed beavers, high taxes and marbled cheddar. What a country!

But don’t worry. There isn’t chaos in the streets, although I did hear a big collective groan from the entire population of Canada (there’s 10 of us) because we’re going to have another election. The crazy thing is, is that even though there are only 10 of us, only about 50% of us will even bother to vote. Sad.

Just kidding. There are actually 1000 Canadians.

Now that you understand Canadian politics, let me tell you the real reason why Stephen Harper‘s Government fell:

first guy to buy an ipad 2

You don’t have to be a government employee to take a day off for the iPad 2. Oh wait.

The iPad 2.

That’s right. The government fell on Friday, March 25, 2011. When was the iPad 2 released in Canada? You guessed it. Friday March 25 2011.

For a minute, I actually believed that the opposition parties were working against the Conservatives to bring them down. Once I realized the truth, it was obvious that they were all working together just so that they could all run down to Ottawa’s Apple store. Fucking iPad 2. Now we’re going to have another election.

I was actually considering getting an iPad, but not anymore. It was bad enough that Steve “douche” Jobs never re-instated Apple’s philanthropy program. Now Canada’s future hangs in the balance because a bunch of suits thought it would be fun to get out of work early to go pick up their pre-ordered iPad 2’s.

You didn’t think for a second that they’d wait in line, did you?

P.S. Thanks to Jayne for suggesting we tackle Canadian politics!

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  • Mikewj

    The iPad is awesome, politics notwithstanding. I use mine every day, and I love it. And I’m sure the iPad 2 is even more awesome. You can even order cheese on it.

  • This just goes to show what happens when you live in a country where people are not heavily armed at all times. Since you don’t have a high per-capita gun ownership ratio, you’re left to work out your violent impulses playing Angry Birds. And everyone knows, that’s best done on an iPad. So, new iPad comes out in the US, people get shot. New iPad comes out in Canada, people wait politely in line while the tax base spirals slowly downward into a paroxysm of despair.

  • Anonymous

    Gee, I never made the connection. That would explain the new iVote app then wouldn’t it. My take on the election will appear Monday.

  • So, I guess you can say Canadians are still up a creek but now with an iPad? Heh, heh.

    I think Joe Clark (yeah, I’m that old) was good leader. He had more balls than Harper in making decisions that were unpopular with his own party but, hey, some of them were good for the country, just not with or for some PC’s.

    I think I only voted once in a Federal election and the party I wanted to vote for didn’t have a candidate in my riding. Since I didn’t like the way Chretien talked out of the side of his mouth – politically speaking, of course – I voted for the other guy.


  • Actually there are 999 – Bob married some chick in Kansas he met over the internet.

  • iPad? I have none. Nor an iPhone. i can Phone on the cell I’ve got. Besides, 100 a month is a bit steep for me. Good news is I am not going to bring our government down anytime soon.

  • Okay so there are 1000 people in Canada but how many are in Even More Canada where you live? What about OMFG Even More Canada? I bet they don’t sell iPads there at all.

  • I’m sure you can order cheese on it. That’s why, although I think Steve Jobs is a douche, the magnetism of the iPad is a impossible to resist.

  • Seriously. I scoured the web for pics of manic front-of-the-line iPad buyers in Canada and couldn’t find any. Just politely queued folk.

  • iVote app??? That’s it. Now I’m finally sold on this thing πŸ˜‰
    Looking forward to your take.

  • Yep, and we will use that iPad AS the paddle.

    That’s a great idea! An app that turns your iPad into a paddle. I better get cracking on that one.

  • Nope. Nicky and Jepeto made a little Canadian a couple of years ago, so we’re back up to 1000.

  • That is good news. I figured it takes a bit more to bring down the U.S. gov’t. We’re pushovers.

  • We’re a very populous province, so there’s probably 200 of us here. There’s like 3 people in OMFG Even More Canada and they don’t sell iPads there cause they don’t even have electricity.

  • πŸ˜‰

  • No electricity? No wonder no one lives there. You guys should move down here
    were you only have to speak one language (and not even that well), there are
    plenty of iPads and our government never works so there are no forced
    elections because at least when they aren’t campaigning they are relatively
    quiet and don’t put out thousands of commercials spoiling Idol and DWTS.

  • That’s funny. I always felt that the best part of DWTS were the commercial breaks, or better, when it’s not on πŸ˜‰

  • Actually, we’re up to 1001. I adopted Thomas C. this weekend.

  • Wow! I don’t follow U.S. politics, so I can’t even pretend to know what’s going on in Canada. And you guys have IPads??!!!

  • “fucking iPad!” – love it. oh, btw, good luck with getting at least 75% of you guys out to vote πŸ™‚

  • Bravo, my friend! I knew you could do it. At least you guys are smart enough to throw the conservatives out. We’re so fucking stupid, we keep putting them back in thinking this time it’ll be different. Then all they do is morph into whack job tea-baggers and pretty soon you’ve got the likes of Michelle Bachmann (thanks a lot Minnesota) running for president.

    I wish the iPad could work the same magic in this country.

  • A most astute observation on the link between the collapse of Harper’s government and the release of the iPad 2. So we now have to choose between buying an iPad2 or actually voting in May, right? All 1000 of us?

  • Anonymous

    Jobs is a douche? Why? I thought he was a beloved New Age entrepreneur, like Steve Ells or Donald Trump.

  • Yep. We totally have iPads! And when I stop acting all righteous, I’ll probably go get one.

  • Oh, for this election we’ll be lucky enough to get 50%!

  • No that’s the thing. You can vote AND get an iPad. You can have it all!

  • To be fair, he’s a brilliant douche. But geniuses often come off as douches because they’re misunderstood with their awkward jokes that no one gets.

    But yeah, I was going to write a whole thing comparing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and how Gates is so generous, yet Jobs doesn’t appear to be. Even Zuckerberg has started off on the right foot with Facebook making major contributions to charity.

    So instead of doing a post about all that, I called Jobs a douche. Douche is also a major search keyword.

    (P.S. Jobs is also a poseur Buddhist)

  • Thanks Jayne! It’s true and that I wouldn’t have it any other way. We do have our checks and balances and the government can truly be “called out” by the other parties. However, what we don’t have is a lot of choice in strong leadership.

  • i love a great political expose! Thanks Mike! Also, I don’t know what all the fuss is about ipads in the first place. But I do love having amazing insight and expertise in the Canadian political scene.

  • Mike

    Pretty in depth, huh? My political science BA finally came in handy πŸ™‚

  • So basically you’re saying that Canada has no operating system installed at the moment? Interesting.. Very interesting indeed.. I’m sure Steve Jobs will be happy to hear that Canada is just a 50% voter turnout-election away from becoming iCanada.

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