Forbes Rich List Spoiler : I’m Not On It


Telmex chairman Carlos Slim Helu

I bet he don't need no stinkin' badges. I don't even know what that means. It was just the first thing I thought of when I saw he was wearing a badge on his lapel.

You may or may not have heard that Forbes put out their rich list today. Topping the list of 1,211 people with more money than they’ll ever be able to spend, is the chairman of Telmex, Carlos Slim Helu, worth upwards of 74 billion dollars. Bill Gates came in second, with over 56 billion dollars and Warren Buffet placed with over 50 billion dollars.

All I can say is, thank God those tax breaks to the wealthy were extended! I mean, really, poor Bill and Warren! Without those tax breaks, they wouldn’t have a fighting chance to catch up or surpass Carlos.

(Completely off topic: did I use too many commas in those first two paragraphs? It feels like I used too many commas.)

In any case, while my name may not be on Forbes’ list, I really don’t care. See, I’ve got something Carlos and Bill and Warren don’t have. I’ve got people who love me for who I am and not for what I have (which is really good since I don’t have anything).

I even have people I’ve never met who love me (actually, I’m pretty sure it’s because they’ve never met me that they love me). They love me so much, they send me stuff. Like Twinkies. Which, by the way, are all gone. I’ve had to enter a 12-step program. There’s a lot of crying and wailing and scarfing of cookies. It’s not pretty.

But I digress.

I am so rich in virtual friendships, that today I received another gift. And this gift definitely puts me at the top of WWFC’s wealthiest bloggers list. Friends, loyal readers, lurkers, that one guy in Macedonia, check out my new…


pajama jeans

Tomorrow is casual Friday at the office. Guess what I'm wearing. I'll also be wearing them on Saturday. And Sunday. And probably every day for the rest of my life.

























my butt in pajama jeans

Not exactly Kim Kardashian's ass, but in these jeans, who the hell cares?











They even came with an awesome, super comfy t-shirt. Thank you Meleah, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I love them and I love you more than I can ever tell you!!



I have absolutely no objection to my ass going viral, so feel free to Stumble this article or like it on Facebook!

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  • You are so pretty you make my heart pound. And after all those kids, you still have a very tiny butt! I thought by now you might have just a little of that sexy spread, but not a trace! I don’t want to have a lot of money either. It would just complicate my life. I do like having enough, however, so color me selfish. I’m hoping we don’t get a tsunami because I cannot swim. In case this is it, I do love you truly Nicky and i will you my jewelry and art work if it’s still here. The clothes would be too big for you. Bye.

  • Is your knee bending the wrong way in that picture? That’s got to hurt. But even with the freaky knee you’re absolutely gorgeous. Too bad you’re not on Forbes rich list, we could have been friends, you and I.

  • Ooooh! I didn’t know they had pockets! I keep all my cash in my front pockets – no wallet, no purse for me, although I do wear a ‘belly bag’ as decoy (oh, and of course to disguise my paunch).

    (for two days now, Disqus won’t let me log in or post a comment unless I’m a “Guest”?)

  • LOL! My tiny butt IS bigger since I had the kids. Like Jayne, I’m afflicted with a non-existent backside!

    Having enough money is subjective, though. How much is enough? Enough for a new pair of Prada pumps every month might be considered reasonable. Others may think enough for a Vuitton handbag 4 times a year is reasonable. It’s all about priorities 🙂

    I don’t believe you’re in any danger of the tsunami, but I haven’t checked in a few hours. I love you too, and I can’t imagine life without you so you are NOT allowed to drown in a tsunami. Understood?! Good.

  • Don’t all knees bend like that?

    Well, I am, in fact on the Forbes list. I’m at number 6,852,219,476. Next year, though, I know I’ll move up to 6,852,158,312.

  • Yup, they have pockets in the front and the back. They’re awesome 🙂

    And what’s up with Disqus?!?! Doesn’t it know you’re not a guest? You’re like family!!

  • Never mind, I used to have a flat butt too. But in the last year it’s gotten huge. I may need to buy a girdle to suppress it. Naw, actually I like big butts and I cannot lie. I have two pairs of Prada shoes. But they are old. I keep getting them re-heeled and re-soled. Prada is forever. I have a Gucci bag and it looked “ghetto” after two years. Excuse me? Now I carry a Ferragamo just because I’m pissed at Gucci. I’m so shallow! Okay, I won’t die.

  • I am VERY jealous of your pajama jeans at this moment in time. How do I get a pair for myself??!!

  • I KNOW! Aren’t they fabulous?! And, trust me, they are SO comfortable! You can click on the words “Pajama Jeans” in the post which will bring you to their website.

  • Second sentence: No comma after “spend.”

    You’ve got a rockin’ hot little body on you, girlfriend, and those pajama jeans look great. I have got to get me some. That Meleah’s a sweetie, but then so are you.

  • We of the “hiney-challenged” set… Shouldn’t someone do a telethon for us?

  • Hmmm, I like that idea! Maybe Kim could host…JLo could sing…or not 😉

  • Thank you! I knew there were too many commas.

    And *blush*, thank you again! You really should get a pair. I know I keep saying it, but they really are so freakin’ comfortable. Meleah is an absolute doll and if I am sweet, it is definitely brought out by the virtual company I keep 🙂

  • OK, this is the second endorsement for pajama jeans (and you KNOW who did the other one) where I see two awesome skinny bodies with big boobs.

    So where do I get these jeans?

  • I wish people sent me stuff. To be honest I thought you might be a guy when I went to look at your ass. But it’s okay…it’s a nice ass and um…well, I think you should show it before and after the Twinkies. 🙂

    And, honestly, I would not want my ass to “go viral”. I’ve had enough health problems without that one. 😉

  • Hihihi! It’s too late to show my ass before the Twinkies 🙂

    Twinkies are the reason you thought I had a man-butt!

  • Well, I don’t quite have Meleah’s rock-hard abs, but I do have the big boobs! I credit the kids and the Twinkies for that 🙂

    Click on the words “Pajama Jeans” in the post and it’ll take you to the website where you can buy them.

  • Speaking of flat butts (yes, I’m in that club, too), there is a product I’ve recently seen advertised – something like a padded bra (I can’t remember the ridiculous name for them) – yet they are for your ass! I wonder if their sizes are sold in, “The Kim Kardasian”, “The J-Lo” – or, if you really want to pump it up, “The Sophia Loren”.

  • ‘Second sentence: No comma after “spend.”‘

    Fucking writers, eh?

  • Thanks, Nicky! My concern is whether they’ll fit someone who is curvy, so there’s no gap in the waist. And whether they’ll be long enough.

  • Mine are a little long on me…I’m about 5’4 and 1/2 and I could take them up about an inch and a half. They are also a lot stretchier than stretch jeans, so I think they would do just fine on someone who is curvy. The gap in the waist could be an issue, especially since there are no belt loops. Mine don’t gap, but I also don’t have much of an hourglass figure!

  • 🙂

  • dddiva

    Mwahahaha you look great- and comfy- I need someone to send me a pair. As for the list, when you make it we’ll be besties. For now, I am not on it either but I plan on winning like 100 lotteries in a row or something so I can get there before I am 50. 😉

  • Welcome dddiva! Thank you for that lovely compliment! Let’s make a pact, shall we? When the two of us are on that list, we won’t let it go to our heads and we’ll stay BFs forever, ok? 🙂

  • Meleah officially ROCKS. How cool she sent those to you!!! WOW! You two have to get next to each other at the Tribal Blogs conference and take pictures!!

  • She is the BEST! When I mentioned that they don’t ship to Canada, she immediately ordered a pair for me shipped to her, then forwarded them on. She is such a sweetheart, I think I may just be glued to her at the conference! 🙂

  • I have got to get some pajama jeans – all I wear is Yoga pants and
    t-shirts anyway. I didn’t realize this was a problem until my daughter said, mom your favorite colors are black and white, cuz that’s what you wear everyday. (Almost as bad as the time she was looking at a portfolio I had and said, “look mom, that’s when you used to be hot!”

    I think billionaires should have to pay taxes for everyone.

  • I almost always wear black too. When my son was little, he brought home a library book about 2 children speculating about their neighbour. They thought she was a witch because she had a black cat and always wore black clothes. Guess what he asked me!

    You’d have my vote if you ever decided to run for office! 🙂

  • Oh the picture of you in your pajama jeans makes me think someone will say to you: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? LOL Relax everyone, there is nothing between Nicky and I, it is just an inside joke. Unless I have the wrong Nicky and then I will just look like a freaky weirdo.

    Nicky, the ‘stinkin’ badges’ thing is from the movie “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”. A bad guy says it to Humphrey Bogart.

    Bogart: “If you’re the police where are your badges?”
    Bad Guy: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!”

  • Mikewj

    You used the commas incorrectly. There shouldn’t have been one after “spend” in the first paragraph, and there should’ve been one after the first “dollars” in the third sentence.

    Also, although there’s nothing technically wrong with it, it just doesn’t sound right to say that you have no objection to having your ass go viral.

  • Ha!!!!

  • Love the jeans! Are you wearing a push up bra or is that just the angle of the camera? I don’t normally notice those kinds of things but I know you have kids so your boobs are way higher than they should be.

    I don’t know anything about the commas and I can’t believe (yes I can) that Mike would correct you. I just throw them out there every once in a while to shake things up.

    Don’t worry you can get more Twinkies in June.

  • Excuse me, do I know you and why are you asking me to sleep with you, you freaky weirdo!?

    Kidding! 🙂 You have the right Nicky, and I’m so glad to see you remembered your first French lesson!

    Ah, I knew that line was from a movie, I just couldn’t remember which one. My dad is a huge Bogart fan, has all of his movies.

    I’m so glad you stopped by Marie!

  • Thank you Professor MikeWJ! I knew they were wrong. I was just too damn tired to figure it out.

    Just to mess with you, I don’t have a problem with my boobs going viral too. 🙂

  • LOL! Not a push up bra, just a really good underwire!

    I’m just surprised it took Mike this long to make the corrections! I’m assuming he was so traumatized by my flagrant misuse of commas, it took him days to finally comment. 🙂

    I wonder if there’s a Twinkie limit at the border?

  • You could just stuff them in your bra and no one would nab you for going
    over the limit.

  • I love you too! And I’m soooo happy you are enjoying your pajama jeans! Aren’t they so comfy it’s like being swaddled in a new born babies receiving blanket. Plus, you look TOTALLY SUPER ADORABLE!

  • And, you better bring them to the conference so we can dress like twins for the day! Wheeeeeeee!! xoxoxoox

  • I seriously cannot thank you enough! They are so incredibly comfortable, exactly like a receiving blanket. You had better believe I’ll be wearing them to TBCon!

    I ♥ Meleah!

  • You know it!

  • Yeah, but they might “nab” something else! 🙂

  • You’re Canadian, they aren’t going to touch you. And if they did, would that
    be so bad?

  • Yipppppeeeeeeeeee! I ♥ NICKY!

  • Hell yes!

  • Phew! After I left the comment was thinking if I had the wrong Nicky someone would be getting a restraining order against me. lol

    My first French lesson and instead of being sophisticated I am sounding perverted. lol

    Bogart sure was one of a kind. Casablanca is my favorite.

  • What a nice post, well it was until I got to the PJ jeans,.. Hell I thought they only hung out at Mommamia, but I see Meleah got to you. Well you are right Nicky, you have many people who love you and have never met you, like me. Now if I do get to MN this summer, will you be sporting those PJ’s??? Also will you be traveling with lots of cheese, you know, for your fellow bloggers????

    Last but not least, both you and Meleah make those PJ’s rock, you go gurls.

  • OH GREAT I clicked on your PJ Jean link and went to their website and now when I go to my blog all my ads pull up their website. The supposedly “smart” ads think I am interested in these. LOL

  • Nicky

    Aw, Glenn! You know I love you too. And I’m sorry if I inflicted pajama jeans on you 🙂

    Please tell me you’ll be going to MN!! I’ll be there, and I’ll be wearing the pajama jeans and sporting lots of cheese to share with my blogging buddies!!

  • Nicky

    Oh, go on! Quit pretending like you don’t desperately want a pair!!!



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