Shut Up Already, I’m Here!

spring is here


Ok ok! I’m here y’all, so just quit yer dang hollerin’ already!

My brother Winter‘s outta town so now I gotta make myself up all pretty like for you no good complainers. And I heard y’all complainin’ I did. All through my beauty sleep all I hear is “where’s Spring? Why is it still Winter? It’s too cold out!” and blah, blah, blah.

Well I’m here, darnit! Are you people happy yet?

What do y’all want? That I should make everything green and stupid and flowers and all? Bah. Barely got me any sleep and I feel like hell cause you people kept wakin’ me up with all yer noise. Every year it’s the same old story. Winter tears off my cozy blanket and kicks me out of bed. I wake up covered in garbage and dog poo and all them folks want everything to be all peachy..

Well you know what? I’m not so happy to be here cuz now I got a ton of work to do! Wakin’ up the trees, and your silly tulip bulbs that you planted last Autumn. Thanks for nothin’! Like I need the extra work. You don’t think I have enough trees and leaves to make grow without you givin’ me more work? Was a time when I could show up whenever I wanted to. Now everyone has a vanity garden and I’m ‘spected to make it all nice. Well I’ll make it nice alright. Just you see. I’ll make it even more pretty than yours truly.

Well forget it. I’m taking the day off. Can’t start without a few bottles of Vermouth in me. See you tomorrow.


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  • I’m so glad you got up Honey. Get your coffee and a few shots of hootch then get to work. This is the first day without rain after 22 days. I’m just glad to see ya!

  • You’re a LIAR!

    You’re not here yet. There’s still snow on the ground. Right now, I’m hating you. Sorry to say it, but it’s true. I speak the truth. You do not.


  • If you were listening, I said tomorrow. Gotta get liquered up first.

  • My hair didn’t give you a fright? Well I’ll be so hooched up by tomorrow there’s no tellin’ what I might greenify!

  • Oh Spring, will you please come to NJ – and right quick?!

  • Anonymous

    I feel like the author of this post is desperately trying to express some deeply buried feelings of rage and frustration that are all bottled up inside — hence the not-so-veiled reference to heavy drinking, which is an unfortunate coping mechanism often used by people who feel they can’t express themselves adequately in social situations.

    Or, it could be a humorous take on Spring’s point of view.

    Either way, really.

  • You’re still lying. We’re expecting snow tomorrow too. So there :P.

  • Well, you’ve been around here. Must have been sleep working ’cause we got daffodils already, and the tulips are just waiting to bloom too! Thank you šŸ™‚

  • šŸ™ Geez… I hope Summer’s in a better mood.

  • I will say one thing, you toothless crone! If you don’t show up tomorrow, ain’t no amount a-liquor gonna help you escape my wrath!!

  • Man! Spring has sprung. I’m looking forward to cold, snowy, blustery days of Winter. A little Madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King.

  • You’d be wrong šŸ™‚

  • I’m a comin’, but I’m not as spry as I used ta be. Just gonna have me one more drink and I’ll be right on by!

  • Well if that’s whatcha want, you’re in the wrong hemisphere!

  • Deal!

  • You bitch! I ain’t toothless. I still got me one!

  • Don’t you worry. Summer’s always happy. It ain’t got no work to do cause I done it all already for that lazy no good season!

  • Finally. Some appreciation. Here’s a clue: leave out a six pack next time, and I may show up a wee bit earlier.

  • Bite me. Bitch.

  • I would if I had more pearlies.

  • Mikewj

    I can’t be wrong on both counts, only one. Please try to be clear, Nicky.

    Say hi to Jepeto for me, too.

  • Mikewj

    Have you kids considered living in sin counseling?

  • Spring

    No kidding….Blame that on my slacker brother Winter.

  • Careful you don’t lose that last one in some horribly painful and permanently disfiguring accident. Crone!

  • Why would we do that? We don’t live in sin. I live in Canada and Spring lives in a drunken stupor.

  • You’re wrong about the author of this post and you’re wrong about this being a humourous take on Spring’s point of view. There’s nothing funny about Spring.

    I’ll say hi to Jepeto for you in the morning. He’s sick and went to bed hours ago.

  • Spring

    Humorous? Ever tried having 1 tooth? Green hair? Nothin’ funny ’bout that.

  • Spring

    Yeah! Wouldn’t wanna spoil my good looks!

  • Winter

    Don’t you drag me into this!

  • Spring

    Aw come on! Come an give yer big sister a hug!

  • Winter

    Ugh! Don’t you have a tooth to go floss or something?

  • Hey bonyMike, waz up. My anglishe iz nut dat good, it kunt be me. Love the picture. Spring is really a one-tooth hag. Thanks Spring for making me laugh this morning, you filthy ho.

  • Hey Spring, you fickle bitch. How’s about no more snow in Topeka, KS? How ’bout it, hmm? Think you can handle just that one thing for me?

  • I have so much vermouth in my system right now that anythin’s possible. So the answer’s yes. I’ll do it!

  • Anonymous

    Where’s “here”? ‘Cause you’re certainly not here, or over there, or where I was today. C’mon a job done half-well is a job done, well, urm, half well. Let’s go Spring…it’s all or nothing. Preferably all.

  • Gimme a minute. I think I swallowed a cat.


    Ok. There. Should be getting warmer now.

  • Spring’s a bitch. And by the way, she still hasn’t shown up in my neck of the woods.

  • I’m there. You just ain’t lookin’ hard enough.

  • You know, Spring, you look a lot like I do in the morning. You didn’t get that picture off my computer, did you? Bitch.

  • Hackin’ computers ain’t my thing. Hackin’ hairballs, is.

  • Pingback: Happy Winter Solstice! » We Work For Cheese » Blog Archive()


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