1.3 Billion Chinese People Can Most Definitely Be, And Are, Wrong

cheese and crackers

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? I think not.

This week, I took Thursday and Friday off work to study and do homework and write press releases for the Tribal Blogs conference and do laundry and cook and clean and answer work emails and phone calls and comment on blogs and watch Dr. Oz talk about The China Study.

Ok, so really, I took the time off to watch Dr. Oz talk about The China Study and the documentary Forks Over Knives.

First off, let me say that I always liked Dr. Oz, even if he was discovered by the big O and then presented to the world like her newest pet

“Oooooh, isn’t he cute?! And he’s so smart too! Yes, you can pet him, he’s very friendly.”

Ok, so I’m obviously not a fan her O-liness. But I did like Dr. Oz. And then I saw Thursday’s show.

It started out harmlessly enough, with the good doctor talking about this great nutritional plan that can not only prevent cancer and heart disease, but can also reverse the progress of these diseases! Sounds awesome, right? Sign me up, right? That’s what I thought too.

At first.

The 20-year China Study found a high consumption of animal-based foods is associated with more chronic disease, while eating primarily a plant-based diet is healthier.

So the first thing Dr. Oz says is to cut out meat. Even fish and chicken (because, yes, they are meat!). And eggs.

Ok, I can do that. No sweat.

Next came the advice to eat more whole grains. I love whole grain bread and pasta! Excellent. Can do.

Dr. Quack

Dr. Quack, I presume.

Then, Dr. Oz went from respected physician to quack. He said to cut out dairy. ALL dairy. Milk, yogourt, butter. Cheese. That’s right. Cheese.

Quack. Charlatan. Fraud. Witch doctor.

That’s just crazy talk. As crazy as doing a study of Chinese eating habits for 20 years. Seriously. Think about it.

First off,when they published this China study, did they take into account that there is barely any cheese in China, so neither meat-eaters nor plant-eaters were scarfing back a finely aged, sharp cheddar, or a ripe, creamy wheel of Brie?

And secondly, of course the Chinese who only ate plants were healthier. Why do you think they only ate plants? Because they make, like, $1.50 a year and can’t afford other foods. It goes without saying that if they couldn’t afford other foods, they couldn’t afford smokes, booze or McDonalds either, right? So, yeah, no shit they’re healthier.

And finally, let’s just say I’m sure they ain’t stickin’ melamine in their own foods, if you know what I mean.

So, you can take the meat away, sir. You can give us whole grains, and more fruits and vegetables. You can take away the processed foods too, even if that means never, ever having another Twinkie.

But do NOT mess with my cheese, Dr. Oz. I will hurt you.

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