Guest Bloggers

It’s Time To Play Guess That Pill

sad woman, cry, black and white

No, this was not my reaction when I heard the news. Really. I don’t care what you’ve heard. Or read. Or saw on t.v.

Hi there. Nicky here. I know it says that this post is by Jepeto, and it will be. I’d hate to disappoint everyone. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who voted for us in the blog makeover contest. Unfortunately, we didn’t win. That honour goes to Danielle of Salmon Like The Fish. But we did tie for loser place with our very punny, very un-cheesy neighbour, Nonamedufus. To tell the truth, I was so busy having fun slamming Dufus on facebook, on his blog, on our blog, at his parents’ house, on CNN and in bathroom stalls everywhere, that I barely even noticed we lost. And while I thank those of you who voted for us, I really have to thank Dufus for making this the best contest we never won. And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. I give you Jepeto. Please don’t give him back.

My older brother went back to Thailand yesterday. No, he’s not a heroine dealer. No, he’s not into young Thai men (I think). Worse. He owns an IT company in Chiang Mai. Anyway he hates taking planes so he took a pill. His comment on Facebook was: time flies when you sleep 9 hours straight on a 12 hours flight / merci les ‘tites pillules (thanks little pills). He doesn’t know what they are except that they are little, round and blue.

He has lots of Facebook friends, so they started trying to figure out what the magic pill was. Zopiclone? Melatonine? Clonazepam? All fucked up names. Everytime I see a pill commercial I burst out laughing cause they mention all the crazy side effects (…and even in some cases death…WTF!).

Anyway my comment on his status was: No no no…ratio-cliratepoum zipocouine 2000! Side-effects-include-nausea-constipation-diarrhea-agitation-drowsiness-impotence-48 hour-hard-on-and-in-some-rare-yet-well- documented-cases-growing-an-extra-vagina. Talk about it with your doctor.

I find this fucking hilarious. Needless to say no other comments followed. Yet. It is still a mystery to me. I tried the pill and it’s awesome! (see before and after pictures below).

cartoon face, weird drawing, penis nose

Yes, Jepeto really looked like the picture on the left. And yes, he really does look like the picture on the right now. Except he doesn’t have that much hair.

So people, are you up for playing GUESS THAT PILL? Come up with a name and a funny sales pitch for my brother’s mystery pill (don’t forget the side effects!) and you could win…hum…a mystery pill? No, that won’t work since I took the last one. I know! You win a night with Jepeto!

(editor’s note: this post could also be titled “How to ensure you get zero comments on your post”)

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