Modern Love

Yes, Celine, my heart will go on.

I wanted to be the one to tell you all. I’m leaving Jepeto.

I guess I should explain. It all started a couple of months ago, when I had a bad dream about a beautiful, exotic girl.

Which, of course, led to me getting Skyped by the beautiful, exotic girl. It was my first time getting Skyped, and it was awesome. We Skyped for hours.

Getting Skyped was so much fun, I immediately found another beautiful girl willing to Skype me. And, again, it was wonderful. I walked around with a big goofy grin on my face for days afterwards.

But, as exciting as getting Skyped by these stunning beauties was, I wasn’t prepared to leave Jepeto as a result. I know that may seem hard to believe, but it’s true.

And then, just last week, everything changed. I didn’t find another beautiful girl who wanted to Skype me. No, instead, I was found by… well, I’m really not sure if she’s a she or a he, let alone if she/he is beautiful. I was found by Cater F. Ham. She/he sent me this message:

“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul besides in my heart I feel you are a good woman I have something to share and I want you to be part of it. Please I know this is a strange request but feel free to add me in your chat list. Thanks a lot bye for now”

Seriously, how could I resist? Such passion, such sensitivity, such an idiot to believe I am a good woman!

woman with suitcase, luggage, travelling woman

Bye-bye Jepeto! Don't be sad, one day you too will meet a Cater F. Ham of your own!




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  • Mikewj

    You said “I’m leaving Jepeto” like it was going to surprise or shock us. But we know enough about him that it was more of relief.

    Still, don’t be fooled by Cater F. Ham. I admit she has a certain worldly appeal that I guess I’d describe as salty, but her charms will wear out quickly once you run out of mayo. You’re better off with sweet women like Ziva or Jayne.
    By the way, you say Skype like it’s a dirty thing. If it is, can you send me the videos?    

  • You give good Skype. 😉

  • If I do, it’s only because I had such a good partner 🙂

  • I’m no fool, my history with Jepeto notwithstanding. Cater is profound, spiritual even and has something she/he wants to share with me! I’ve already written back asking if that something is bigger than a breadbox. Ziva and Jayne will always hold special places in my heart, but nothing can compare to Cater.

    If you think it sounds dirty when I say Skype, you should hear when I say I’ve been facebooked. Sends shivers up and down Cater’s electronic spine, it does.

  • It may be time to step away from the keyboard, power down and go outside for a bit.

  • Poor Jepeto. Would you tell him there’s a woman’s beach volleyball tournament on TV tomorrow. He’s welcome to come over. As for Cater, I think behind every unsolicited “come hither” e-mail is a 13 year old Korean kid. Next you’ll be telling us you stand to make millions of dollars helping some Nigerian transfer his money out of the country.

  • Oh gorgeous, beautiful, sexy Nicky, please come back to me. I want to Skype you again. I promise I’ll Skype you real good.

  • Oh snap! Too funny! Ahahahahahhaha! I get emails like that too. I am often tempted to reply with ridiculous reponses!

  • And, hello, we need to Skype!

  • Jepeto

    It’s ok. I’ve been deep skyping Billy Bob for months and vice/versa. Nothing beats rough Hillbilly skyping.  

  • I’m glad you understand. I hope you and Billy Bob will be very happy together.

  • Oh yeah, baby!

  • I was tempted to respond with a photo of Jepeto, but I wasn’t sure that wouldn’t make Cater *more* interested in me!! 🙂

  • Ziva, you temptress, I will let you Skype me real good… as long as you promise not to tell Cater!

  • What? No no no no no…that would take me away from my darling Cater F. Ham… I could not, nay, I *will* not forsake her… or him…

  • Sounds like you know quite about the man, or 13 year old Korean kid, behind the curtain, Dufus. Have you also fallen for my beloved Cater? And of course I wouldn’t tell you I’m going to millions helping a Nigerian… it’s more like thousands. Silly man! 🙂

  • meleahrebeccah is my user name!

  • HA!

  • Ham and catering… both VERY GOOD THINGS!

  • Who can blame you! With a last name like Ham, you gotta take the leap. Nikky Ham. Nice ring to that. Maybe he owns like a bacon factory or something…

  • Exactly what I was thinking Katherine! I was really hoping the thing Cater wanted to share with me is a ham and cheese sandwich. 🙂

  • Presenting Mr. and Mrs. Ham. No no, wait, presenting *Dr.* and Mrs. Ham. I’m assuming Cater received his doctorate in baconology.

  • Well, I think I would have preferred a ‘Cater F. Cheddar’

    You Skype? Find me on: babsnmo

  • Sent an invite to you My username is babsnmo


  • Ah, but Babs, that was part of Cater’s allure… she/he has the ham, I have the cheese. We’re perfect together! 🙂

    I’ll find you!

  • Ok, I’ll find you!

  • Seems Cater and I won’t be the only ones finding each other on Skype 🙂

  • Yahooo! I haven’t been on Skype in MONTHS.
    I will make sure I sign in tomorrow [Friday.]

    What time is good for you?

  • Just sent you an email…

  • Got it!

  • Pingback: I’m Lazy, Old, Sick, Stupid And Tired. But Everyone Wants To Be Me. » We Work For Cheese » Blog Archive()


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