While Waiting For Feta To Ferment

So, while we’re waiting for Mike to get back to us on the wonder that is pickled cheese, I thought I’d share with you a very profound realization I had yesterday.

I was watching a show called American Pickers. Two guys, Mike and Frank, drive around America in their truck, stopping in at people’s homes to “pick” through their stuff, looking for antiques and collectibles.

mike wolfe, frank fritz

Two pretty ordinary guys, right?

So, I’m watching them. And they end up at a house that has all kinds of tunnels under it where the owner, known as the “Mole Man”, keeps his “collectibles”.

mole man house, tunnels

This was the house from the outside.

Don’t worry. It gets much better inside the house. That’s where Mike and Frank start going through Mole Man’s collection.

mole man, collectibles, clutter

See that little metal thing over there on the left? Right there next to the blue plastic thing and partially covered by the greyish yellowish papery thing. See it? Me neither.

I “picked” the above images from the clutter on the Internet, which, unfortunately, was stacked up so high that when I opened the Internet, it all came crashing down on my head and then I couldn’t find the websites anymore.

In any case, as they were picking through Mole Man’s “collectibles”, I had an epiphany. I realized the difference between “collectors” and “hoarders” is the number of dead cats you find.

RIP, headstone, cemetary, pet cemetary

Are you reading this, Lola? See what happens to cats who try to kill people?

Now, go. Spread the word.



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  • I love pickers I could watch that show all day. I think it would be fun to go into peoples houses and buy what they think is crap. But not a hoarder’s house, I wouldn’t be able to handle the smell. I think it would be a cross between kimche and that pickled cheese.

  • Um, interesting post, Nicky. So in your opinion would pickers not eventually become “hoarders”? I think we’re on the edge of a new reality show. What if those pickers only collected sweaters, socks, underwear and t-shirts? Well, then you’d have: “Those cotton-picken’ hoarders”.

  • I have come across a few “hoarding houses” in my line of work and I am always amazed by them.  A couple of them I helped clean out prior to listing them and I will tell you it isn’t as fun to go through as a person might think.

    I do love the American pickers show.  At least they just kind of dig around the mess looking for treasure.  They don’t actually clean it, organize it or have it removed. 

    I love your line about the difference between collecting and hoarding.  I think that is a fine line sometimes.

  • That-Is-So-Funny!!!! Here kitty kitty kitty! Had to Google Plus One this immediately!

    That show actually bothers me. They go to old people’s houses and say, “five dollars for this?” while they hold up something they will sell for two hundred. I cringe as they rape the old people! lol!

  • I used to think that we were “collectors”. Then I had to list all of my items when our house burned. Now I’m not so sure…maybe we were “hoarders” with interesting taste??? 

  • I am not a collector or a hoarder.  Alex has tendencies toward both.  I do have my little normal collections (antique linens, antique German sterling flatware), but I keep very little in the way of knick knacks.  I am “gifted” sometimes with somebody’s idea of a “pretty” and I do keep these things for a while out of sentiment, but alas, one day I look around and all the “Kitch” and I’m tossing it all.  I’m pretty ruthless about it too.  The only thing I hoard are my 2500 or so books but they are in shelves in the basement.  Alex wants me to get rid of them, but I never will.  I have no dead cats in my yard or in my house, unless Smokey has changed condition in the last 15 minutes.

  • It’s amazing the stuff they find and consider valuable. Seriously. Cans. Why are old oil cans valuable? I don’t get it, but it is interesting. Hey, Mike’s house now smells like pickled cheese, so does that make him a hoarder now? 🙂

  • It would appear that pickers are not always hoarders, collectors are not always pickers but hoarders always have dead cats under the rubble.

    Have I mentioned lately that you’re a punny guy Dufus?

  • I can only imagine the nightmare of being a realtor and trying to sell one of these places! At the risk of sounding crass, I really hoped they paid you extra, or a larger commission, since you helped them clean up their mess!

    Yeah, the great thing with these guys is, if it turns out they’re actually at a hoarder’s house, they can just bail.

    Thanks Cheryl. I had the revelation during a commercial break in the middle of the American Pickers episode. The commercial was for Hoarders. 🙂

  • Hihihihi…thanks so much Katherine!

    You know, the show did get a lot of flack the first season for taking advantage of people. They did pay attention to the negative comments, and the second season they offered fairer prices – even going so far as telling people when they weren’t asking enough for their collectibles!

  • As long as you didn’t list the loss of any already-dead cats on your insurance report, I think you can still be considered a collector. 🙂

  • I am not a collector or a hoarder either. Except for boys. I seem to have collected a few of those. And I don’t have any dead cats either. Yet. I’m not promising that won’t change soon. 🙂

  • LM(size 4)AO!   The number of dead cats…   I actually think you’re right on target there.   I’ve never watched that show.  Now I’ll have to search for it.

  • They do find some really interesting stuff and no dead cats to speak of… I think you’ll like it. 🙂

  • I’m laughing out loud! But you’re right: cat death toll in someone’s home does make all the difference between being a collector or a wackjob…errr…I mean hoarder.

  • Oh, and I have to say, with a name like “American Pickers,” if the concept of picking through strangers’ homes for their stuff doesn’t make ratings, they could resort to picking their noses. That might attract a broader and more faithful audience.

  • Glad to perk up your day, gorgeous! And I think whack-job and hoarder are synonyms, so feel free to use them interchangeably! 🙂

  • Ewwww! They’re audience would be broader, more faithful and probably married to their first cousins! 🙂

  • *Their audience, not they’re audience.

    And there go my feelings of superiority…

  • Crap!  I read this line, “I had an epiphany. I realized the difference between “collectors” and “hoarders” is the number of dead cats you find.” in public.  Now strangers are looking at me wondering if they should contact authorities.  I’m laughing my ass off!

  • “I realized the difference between “collectors” and “hoarders” is the number of dead cats you find.”

    Ahahhahahahhha! OMG! That is SOOOO true!

  • Hihihihihhi… glad you enjoyed, Nora! As for those strangers, as long as there aren’t any dead cats around you, it’s all good! 🙂

  • It is true, isn’t it? It actually took me a good 30 seconds to realize the commercial break I was watching for Hoarders *was* a commercial and not still the episode of American Pickers!

  • HA!!!

  • I thought it said American Peckers, but then realized that’s the name of the X-rated version of the same show. My bad.


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