Hey losers who didn’t turn 18 this year! Guess why today should be a national holiday. Alright it’s already a national holiday, because December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women in Canada. But that’s not what I’m talking about.
Today is the birthday of someone famous. No it’s not Randy Rhoads, the famous guitarist. No it’s not Baldassare Castiglione, Italian author and diplomat, who described the perfect Renaissance gentieman in “Il Cortegiano” (The Courtier) in 1528… No it’s MY birthday!! That’s right today is the day I turn 18!!!!! And all of you who read this post are expected to send me 20 bucks each as a gift, no more no less… well if you want to give more, that’s completely up to you.
In all seriousness though, today is the day I become a man. This is the day where I can go to strip clubs, drink dangerous amounts of alcohol and even drive
drunk all I want. And to celebrate this momentous event, my family took me to Cheeburger Cheeburger for supper last Saturday because my stupid school gave me a test today.
Anyway, there I was accompanied by my beautiful better half because, funnily enough, her birthday’s the day after mine. So it was a supper for both of us… but she’s less important. The best part was the cake. You see not a lot of people know this but my favorite chocolate is Ferrero Rocher. I would sell my own mother for just one of those delectable pieces of chocolate… Actually I’d give my mom away for a whole lot less… What? You all read the post I wrote about what a monster she is, didn’t you? Anyway back to the cake, there at the grocery store, my mom and I spotted a Ferrero Rocher cake made by Angels and meant for a king.
It’s safe to say that there were no arguments about my birthday cake. It’s just too bad no one was hungry enough after Cheeburger Cheeburger to have a lot of cake. Except Jepeto. I don’t know how, but he ate not one, but TWO 20 oz burgers and still managed to have a piece of cake.
Well that’s all I have to say, time to go to the closest strip club where I will get so wasted, driving will seem like a great idea. Wish me luck people!