So, how were your holidays? If you’re like me… hey, what’s with the panicked look and passionate protests?! Sheesh. I was joking about wearing the boots with pajamas, you know. Sort of. Whatever.
Look, if your holidays were anything like mine (There, feel better? Sigh.), it was probably a crazy busy and stressful time. Sure, there were presents to be bought and wrapped, a tree to trim, and lights to string. But the absolute craziest part of the holidays is the food preparation. The hours and hours and HOURS spent preparing the deviled eggs.
That’s right. The dreaded deviled eggs. Seriously. It would seem deviled eggs really are Satan’s food and hellish to prepare. Apparently, there are millions of people suffering from lack of sleep and unbearable stress and frustration because of this evil dish. I didn’t even know the problem was so bad until I saw this commercial. I give you Eggies.
Well, that explains why I’m so exhausted! The first time I saw this ad, I thought it was a joke. I mean, really? “Hard-boiled eggs mean hard work…and peeling all night.” Seriously? And they want 10 bucks for it?! Are they insane?
Here, I’d like to show you something.
Yup, that’s me. Peeling an egg. I decided to make it really challenging by leaving the kitchen light off and only keeping the single light above the stove top on. (Ok, to be honest, I forgot to turn the light on as I walked into the kitchen and didn’t feel like going back.) And yet, it still only took me about 20 seconds to peel an egg in the (almost) dark. Which means I can peel a dozen of them in about 4 minutes. So how is this keeping me up all night?
Truly, this has to be the stupidest invention ever. It’s so stupid, they even had to invent the problem this invention is supposed to solve. Because really, Eggies has absolutely no purpose.
Unless, of course, Hell is a place where you spend all eternity peeling hard-boiled eggs. Then Eggies makes a lot of sense. But I’m guessing Satan won’t let you use Eggies. It is Hell, after all. And he is Satan. And you are in Hell. Which means you were very naughty and don’t deserve a break. It also means you shouldn’t have panicked so badly when I started to say “If you’re like me…”. Because it seems you are. So there.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to sit and stare at my new boots.