Life

My Friends Call Me Nicky

If I’ve gotten to know you, even a little bit, chances are I’ve given you a nickname. That’s right. Even if I only “virtually” know you, I’ve probably given you a nickname. And, chances are, you don’t know it, because I only use these nicknames in my head.

Oh sure, you may have spotted me using some of these nicknames here at WWFC and around the Internet. For years, I’ve called my co-blogger, Mike, Smick. Ziva, of Ziva’s Inferno, is Lemmikki. Linda, from The Good, The Bad, The Worse, is Hon. Meleah, from Momma Mia, Mea Culpa, is Sweet Thing. And, as a result of her calling me Nick, I finally started publicly calling Margaret, of Nanny Goats In Panties, Mags.

But for the most part, I keep them to myself. The thing is, I’m never sure how people feel about being given a nickname. Personally, I’ve always wanted one. If you ever watched Seinfeld, there’s an episode where George wants the cool nickname, T-Bone. He ends up being known as Coco the Monkey.

As Mags once told me: "Be careful what you wish for. And what's that thing on your face?"

Growing up, my dad gave everyone a nickname. Everyone but me. My brothers, my mom, his friends, people he worked with – they all had nicknames. One time, I asked him why he didn’t have a nickname for me. He just shrugged. When I demanded one, he pretended to think for a moment then asked “How about Manure Brain?”

I was hoping for Princess, or Angel. Instead I got Shithead.  Sigh.

No, my dad didn’t really start calling me that. Besides sharing the gene that makes us compulsively rename people, we also share the sarcasm gene and the did-you-really-just-issue-an-order-and-seriously-think-I’m-going-to-follow-it gene.

So he never gave me a nickname.

So, I’ve decided to get my own. I discovered that there are actually such things as nickname generators.  Yup, you put in your name, gender and choose which “category” of nickname you’d like and abracadabra! A choice of super cool nicknames just for you.

Except.

They’re not really super cool. Like I said, they’ve got a bunch of categories you can choose from: mobster, superhero, goth, spy, dragon, etc. First I chose spy, thinking that was going to be so badass. Among the names that came up: Thunderball, Blofeld, Jinx and Agent86. How lame is that? And unoriginal too!!

superwoman, supergirl, red cape

I could totally pull off a full-length cape.

So I chose the superhero category.

And got the following results: Stormbringer, Tastes Like Chicken, Dates Cattle and Trips Over Own Feet. While that last one is accurate, it’s not the nickname I’m looking for. Stormbringer was kind of cool, but there’s already a superhero named Storm. On top of it all, she was played by Halle Berry in the X-Men movies. Yeah, I just can’t compete with Halle Berry.
Truth be told, I probably couldn’t even compete with Chuck Berry, but whatever. I think it’s safe to say that the nickname generator isn’t really working for me.

Maybe I should write to Josh Holloway. He played Sawyer on Lost and his character gave everyone nicknames.

josh holloway, lost, james ford, beach

And he always took his shirt off. Sigh. He could call me anything he liked.

Image from here and forever burned into my brain

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