Food

Amongst Other Things, A Cheese Review

tortoiseshell cat, cell phone

Seriously. Does she look like she cares if it's for her?

Hi. How’s it going? *looks at computer screen expectantly*

Ok, then. Moving right along.

I’m doing just fine. Well, no. I’m not. Not really. I am experiencing technical difficulties. See, technically, I can write. But, technically, I just don’t feel like it. This has happened before and it wasn’t too bad because I could count on my co-blogger and BFF CheesyMike to pick up my slack.

Unfortunately, CheesyMike is all busy being mom to a  cat. Even though he has a beard. And a penis.

You did understand that I meant CheesyMike has a beard and penis, not the cat, right? Although, technically, the cat has a penis too.

Technical difficulties, remember?

Anyhoo.

Mike’s not writing because he’s busy with 3 o’clock fur balls, visits to the vet, being a human scratching post and saying things like “Who’s a good kitty? Are you a good kitty? Yes you are. That’s right. Momma’s got a good kitty.” Not to mention calling me up to make me listen to his cat.

Uh huh.

Do you know what a cat sounds like on the phone? Pretty much like this:

Anyhoo.

Before Mike got the cat, he came over one evening for a whine and cheese soiree. He brought the cheese. And the whine.

See, his parents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and decided to go on a cruise. With the rest of his family. He got left behind, kinda like the annoying little blond kid in Home Alone. He assured me he wasn’t at all bitter about it and was already planning to take them out for dinner when they returned. To McDonald’s.

In any case, we had decided that since we nearly always review local cheeses, we would go “international” this time. Mike brought over 5 cheeses from different countries.

One of the cheeses from France was called Régal de Bourgogne.

cheese, papaya

It's covered with bits of dried papaya.

It’s a double cream cow’s milk cheese, which means it is very rich and very fattening. It’s also sweet and delicious. Seriously. Like, stupid good. Not better than the Pomegranate Blueberry goat cheese we had, but damn close.

My extensive research (15 seconds of looking at the Google search results) shows that Régal de Bourgogne is also covered with raisins or mustard seed. While the mustard seed version sounds appealing, I hate raisins. Which is why I didn’t bother with any further research. Also, technically, I didn’t feel like it.

Anyhoo.

Why mess with a good thing? Papaya covered double cream cheese is awesome. Now go find some. You won’t regret it.

And, for the love of cheese, don’t EVER make someone listen to your cat on the phone.

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  • Since when does Mike have a penis?

  • Thank you for identifying those things as papaya.  I thought they were gummi bears.   Yes, Mike does seem just a little overly fond of his new cat, but I’ve always had my suspicions about him.   I get where you’re at with the writing.   There really should be a medication for creative constipation.   

  • Well, to be honest, I’m just going with what he claims. And what was written on the bathroom wall at the bar.

  • They do look like Gummy Bears, don’t they?! That would have been… interesting! 🙂

    Creative constipation! I like that term. Very apt. Now if only I could find some brain fibre.

  • Jepeto

    Mike has a beard?

  • I don’t really ‘get’ guys who chose cats over dogs.
    But I understand their boyfriends do…
    Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

  • No. The cat does.

  • It’s simple when you factor in geographical context. We live in the frozen tundra and you don’t need to walk a cat.

  • Okay, Mike has a sensitive side.  And I love that about him.  Getting a cat is something a man who is confident in his masculinity does.  Mike has nothing to prove.  (And, yes, he’s well known for his studliness with women in many circles.)

    That cheese looks weird.  I don’t want any.  It’s too girly for me.  And I am not a girly woman.

  • As a crazy cat lover, I totally responded to the cat picture by saying “what a cute kitty!!” I totally relate to Cheesymike except I don’t have a beard or a penis. 
    I also, totally relate to periods of “I just don’t feel like writing”.  Have been struggling a bit with that as well.  I am thinking at some point it will pass…

  • Dammit, Pepsi, Yoda and I were going to Skype you this weekend.  I was going to tell you all about their lack of balls and let you listen to the cute sounds they make when you scratch them behind the ears.

  • Mike is definitely a sensitive soul. In a totally macho way, of course!

    The cheese may look weird, but it is seriously fantastic. I’m not a girly woman either, but it didn’t take much effort for me to enjoy this cheese 🙂

  • I love cats too, Cheryl. I just love teasing CheesyMike more. 🙂

    Yeah, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I just can’t seem to get into a writing groove. I hope you’re right about it passing…

  • Hah! Your cats don’t have the balls to pull off that kind of stunt! 🙂

  • I don’t have my glasses on but those look like gummy bears on the cheese.

    Where might one find this lovely cheese?

    Hey, our hockey team is playing your hockey team tonight!

  • I WANT ALL OF THESE CHEESES!!!!!  Papaya sounds good, but put dried peach on there… yummm yummmm yummmmmm!

  • Wait, I have one too!

  • It was no exaggeration.

  • Of course you do.

  • Stud.

  • Mike found the cheese at a cheese shop. I don’t know if you’d be able to find it at a regular grocery store.

    Our hockey team sucks this year. I haven’t checked, but I’m guessing your team kicked our team’s ass.

  • You really should check out your local cheese store for it Katherine. It was awesome! If they don’t already have it, maybe they can order it…

  • I don’t know it could have been a tie because all our teams suck this year. Actually I think our woman’s broom hockey team took the championship and I know our curling team rocks.
    Jennifer Brown
    651.271.0257
    Redheadranting.com
    Tribalblogs.com

  • Okay, I died laughing when I read…..

    “Do you know what a cat sounds like on the phone? Pretty much like this:  … … … … ”

    Ahahahhahahahaha

    Happy 50th wedding anniversary to Cheesy Mikes’ parents.

    And, that Régal de Bourgogne looks amazing.

  • OMG, Jayne, I thought they were gummi bears too!

  • Hope your writing mojo runs back to you! I hate that feeling.  When I went and saddled myself with a regular column I panicked.  What would happen if I caught that “don’t feel like writing flu”?  It happened.  My cat died and I didn’t feel like writing.  I had to anyway.  It’s hard to be funny when you’re sad or off base.  I bet Mike is a good cat mommy.

  • It that really a picture of his cat?  She is beautiful, and looks a bit like a shorter-haired version of our Sophie.

    As for the cheese, I may like it – sans fruit.  It does make a pretty picture, though.

  • Mikewj

    I also have a beard and a penis. And my parents went to England and didn’t take me, either. I wonder if Mike and I are related?

  • Mikewj

    Nicky, what did I tell you last time this happened?

  • By that logic we’re both related to Col Sanders. Although I can’t vouch for his cock.

    Get it!? Chicken? Cock?

  • Well, if I remember correctly, you said something about typing with one hand while scratching Jepeto’s nutsack with the other. It was quite inspirational really. 🙂

  • Nope, that is actually my cat, Lola. Otherwise known as “why do you want to kill me?” She is pretty though 🙂

    The cheese was really good, and I think you may even like it with the fruit. I’m not big on dried fruit usually, but the combination of rich creamy cheese with the soft and chewy fruit was perfect!

  • Thanks Nora. It really sucks because I have a ton of ideas but absolutely zero motivation to write about them. I’m sorry about your cat. *Hugs*

  • It was really funny, especially with Mike repeating over and over again “Can you hear him?” and me in the background saying “NO! I can’t hear him. Stop it!” 🙂

  • LOL, your curling team rocks? Really? 🙂

  • No, I don’t get it. Please elaborate.

  • AHAhahahhahah!

  • A cat or a beard?

  • Mikewj

    That’s a warm family image — something you might find a Dickens’ book, actually. Not Charles Dickens. Peter Dickens, his brother. He wrote a lot of perverted stuff like “A Tale of Two Boobies,” and “The Adventures of Oliver’s Twist.” They’re both quite good, if you like that sort of thing.

  • Mikewj

    I think you guys just outed CheesyMike.

  • Mikewj

    A ton of ideas is a lot. I’m guessing you might have several pounds (kilos) worth, but nowhere near a ton. Still, only you would know. I can’t imagine where you keep them, though.

  • Mikewj

    It’s a clever play on words, Nicky. See a penis is a cock and a cock is a chicken and a chicken is a pecker and a pecker is a penis. Hey, this is fun!

  • Well, seeing as your words evoked the image, I guess you were “channeling” your inner Peter.

  • I keep them in the garage.

  • Not according to the bathroom wall.

  • Mikewj

    Oh, that Mike!

  • Mikewj

    I guess I thought this was funnier than you seemed to. Maybe you’re sick of penises.

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