Marketing

Increase Your Blog Traffic By Billions Of Percentages

green arrow, increase, car, dollar sign

That's right. The blog with 12 followers is giving advice on increasing your blog traffic.

No WAIT! Don’t click away.

Ok, so I’m not really going to tell you how to increase your blog traffic by billions of percentages. If I knew how to do that, this wouldn’t be We Work For Cheese, this would be We Work For Book Deals or We Work For Movie Rights. But it’s not.

I’ve read a gazillion articles on increasing blog traffic. Yes, that’s right. A gazillion. I nearly lost count around 3 zillion, but luckily, I didn’t.

Without fail, they all talk about the importance of social media to promote your blog. Facebook, Twitter and now Pinterest are all touted as great ways to promote your blog and increase your traffic.

Follow Me on Pinterest Yup, we’re on Pinterest! Tell your friends!!

But there’s another site that can really boost your traffic. I’m talking about Reddit. According to Wikipedia, Reddit is a social news website where the registered users submit content, in the form of either a link or a text “self” post. There are a bunch of different categories, called subreddits, like funny, WTF, gaming, world news, politics, technology etc. where people submit their posts.

With bazillions of people surfing Reddit on a daily basis, it can definitely increase your blog traffic. If you don’t piss off the collective, that is.

See, if the members of Reddit, called redditors, like your post, they’ll upvote it. If they don’t, they’ll downvote it. Redditors are fucked up. I’ve been trying to think of another, more polite way to say that, but I just can’t come up with one. They can be elitists. They can be clever. They can be snobs. They can be hysterically funny. They can be outright asshats. I believe a large number of them simply live for the sadistic pleasure they get from downvoting people. Evil bastards.

down vote, thumb down, hand, thumb

Being downvoted sucks monster moose cock.

I posted my chocolate glazed doughnut recipe to the recipes subreddit. It was a hit. Got a bunch of upvotes, very few downvotes and our traffic soared higher in 3 days than it did in nearly 3 years. I wasn’t all that surprised. I mean, who doesn’t love doughnuts, right? Yup, redditors love doughnuts almost as much as they love acronyms and pedophiles.

That’s right. Pedophiles.

Let me explain. The thing with redditors is that if they think you’re just using Reddit to shamelessly self-promote, they will demolish you. They will trash you so badly, no amount of upvoting will ever bring you back. So, you can’t just join and start redditing your blog posts all willy-nilly.

You need to post other people’s blogs or pictures. You need to link to news sites (but for the love of cheese, if the news is more than 42 seconds old – don’t bother!!). And, most importantly, you need to comment on other reddits in order to build up comment karma.

I’ve tried to obey the laws of Reddit, also known as reddiquette. I post other stuff besides our WWFC posts. I read other reddits and try to comment. That is not as easy as it sounds. One bad comment and you’re toast. If you can’t think of something relevant or really clever to say, just walk away. Seriously. The other redditors will turn on you and it will get ugly.

So, I read various posts by other redditors. And, occasionally, I comment. But one day I came across this post:

IAmA Pedophile who handed himself in to authorities after viewing CP (child pornography) to try and get support. AMA* (self.IAmA)

I started reading the comments and was stunned to see the approval that was being given because the OP (the person who posted) claimed to never have acted on his desires and to have turned himself in. But the following comment stopped me in my tracks:

I don’t think I’ve ever said this to anyone before, but you’re the best kind of pedophile there is.

Huh? In what world is there EVER a good kind of pedophile, let alone a best kind of pedophile?!

The commentor goes on to thank the redditor for his bravery and strength and for not traumatizing a child.

Double huh? Well, somebody get this guy a medal for NOT traumatizing a child.

Yeah, I walked away from that one without commenting. I was happy to see that someone else felt the same way I did and posted this to Reddit:

[Effortpost] Yet another pro-pedophile AMA, from one who eventually turned himself into the police after years of collecting and enjoying child pornography (self.ShitRedditSays)

So, yeah, Reddit can increase your blog traffic. Just ask the author of the blog Hyperbole and a Half. She may answer you if she’s not too busy with her book deal. But never forget that entering Reddit is like falling down the rabbit hole.

alice in wonderland, tim burton

Somehow, downvoting doesn't seem so bad anymore.

*AMA is the acronym for “ask me anything”
**The numbers in the brackets represent  upvotes (+) or downvotes (-)

 

 

 

 

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  • So, the point of blogging is to increase my stalkers. Thank you for clearing that up for me! Instead of using social media,  I think that I might do better writing my URL on some bathroom walls.

  • I am such a fool! I put a link on Reddit and didn’t even know that I was probably being thumbed down on a daily basis. Or maybe they took a look at one post and I got shot down so badly that I turned to dust. What’s even worse is I don’t even know on that damn site where I find if I’ve been blasted or not. Maybe it’s best I don’t know. 🙂 Okay, the upside is if you are lucky enough to grow an audience of zillions it could land a lucky ReddiWhipster  a six figure book deal…I don’t know if I care enough to understand the reddiquette. Yes, Im a poor sport. Love this blog piece though!

  •  Yes, if you have a mental illness that causes you to find children sexually attractive (and I do believe it’s mental illness simply because I can’t conceive of a healthy mind simply choosing to) and you don’t act on that attraction, you get one point.  If you seek treatment, you get another point.  If you directly support the abuse of children by viewing child porn, you lose every point you’ve ever gotten for anything in your entire life ever. So yeah, not a hero.

  • je

     Hey Nicky, thanks for reddit info. I to am working on using that site. It is true that if you work it right people can help push more traffic to your blog.

  • You know it’s funny (well, not exactly ha ha) but I have noticed an increased amount of pedophiles at Tim Horton’s. Here in Quebec, we call them French crullers. Oh, and I don’t know if I could bring myself to post on a place called Reddit. I’d fell uncomfortable, you know, politicaly. Blueit maybe.

  • I think laughingmom has the right idea.  Posting your blog’s address on a busy bathroom wall would be less painless while getting more exposure.   I don’t think I would appreciate having people give me a lot of thumbs down because I don’t write what they deem important, funny, enlightening or whatever they deem it should be.  Really, should I have my feelings hurt by the same people that would write an endorsment for the “right” kind of pedophile.  I even take a bit of offense when I read on various blog directory sites from some guest blogger about how to be successful like them and find what they write as original  as the  copy and paste they did of of last weeks Newsvine.

    Blogging can be frustrating.  You can think you have a refreshing point of view and enjoy sharing alternating points of view but basically if you don’t engage people into reading it…it sits like a wart on a  hog.

    With all of that whining done…I would love to have more readers and more comments but it comes down to maybe I just don’t write content that grabs readers and have them invested in coming back.

  • No, the point of blogging is whatever you want it to be. Not everybody blogs for fame, fortune and world domination. But if you are blogging for those reasons, then you may need more than just bathroom walls. Although, granted, it does depend on the bathroom wall. 🙂

  • When you log in to your Reddit account, if you click on your user name, you’ll see everything you’ve ever posted to/commented on Reddit. To the left of each post/comment, you’ll see an up arrow, a number and a down arrow. The number lets you know how you did. Sometimes, though, it is better not to know. I actually ditched my first Reddit account – the one I had before I knew the “rules”. Sometimes it is just best to walk away!

    Thanks, I’m glad you liked it, Annie!

  • That was exactly the thing! While I am relieved this guy voluntarily turned himself in to get help, I don’t think that makes him a hero. And I really couldn’t grasp the idea that he hadn’t “really” hurt any children since he’d “only” ever looked at child porn on the Internet. It was more than a little surreal.

  • You’re welcome, je. Yes, it’s true. IF you work it right.

  • Groan. Talk about blew it!! 🙂

  • Reddit, like any other social network, has its good points and its bad ones. For the purposes of this article, I used a pretty extreme example. There really are more good posts than bad on the site.

    Again, what it boils down to is: what do you want for your blog? If your goal is to garner mega traffic, Reddit is a great place to do that – if you play by their rules. 

    That was whining?! Lord, woman, that was nuthin’!! You should have heard me on the phone with Mike the first time I got downvoted!! 🙂

    And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your content!

  • Wait a minute…Maybe there is no point in blogging. Now I think I might be onto something here. I have already declared myself President of the Galaxy – so if I wanted world domination, I’m already ahead!!! There…let them have their blogs and pimp them too!

  • My guess is the reddit crowd was just relieved there was one less pedophile on the street and wanted to encourage him to continue on his new “no child’s behind” path.  The whole dialog may enoucourage other peds who are on the fence (about acting on their urges or not) to go get help.  That alone makes the whole exchange worthwhile.

    “The best kind of pedophile” may sound kooky, but it’s just a different way of saying “the lesser of two evils”.  Isn’t the best kind of destructive alcoholic the one in recovery who doesn’t drink anymore?

  • I joined Pinterest and stopped using it. I have a Google+ and a Twitter account that I don’t use. I have other social media and blog promotion accounts I’ve joined over the years that I don’t even have links for anymore.  I won’t be joining Reddit or Rivvit or whatever 🙂  I think the world’s gone mad with this social media stuff.  Maybe it’s because I just don’t care what Joe Smith thinks about what Jimmy Brown thinks about ………  I REALLY don’t care.  As you point out, most are just self promoting.  Give me a good blog post over any of these and I’m a happy bunny 🙂

    Does this comment give my age away?  😉

    I know a few bloggers that have hundreds of followers, with not a jot of ‘self promoting’ or social media accounts – Just honest to goodness excellent and regular blog content.  Now I know where I’m going wrong!

  • Um…. the hell? There’s a GOOD kind of pedophile? How about NO. I’m sorry, but Reddit can suck it sideways.

  •  Babs,

    I’m with you. I can hardly keep up with all these social networking sites.

  •  I did try, but I lost interest in them all!

  • I don’t understand any of this, but I love how you said it all.  I joined Pinterest, Google+, Twitter, but I don’t know how to use  or understand any of them.  I will never get a zillion or even a trillion readers, and that’s okay.  I have the best looking and smartest readers on the planet!  Hail Queen Nicky!

  • Thank you for this helpful guide to Reddit, Nicky. At least now I know never ever to join it, I can’t imagine I’d be able to write the kind of comments that would get even a single upvote. I might break the record for most downvotes ever, though…. And you know, you’re the best kind cheesaphile there is. I would vote you up any day of the week. Sometimes even twice in a row.

  •  Even in Pinterest?! But it has “interest” in the name!! 🙂

  •  But you’re the Facebook queen!

  •  Babs, I don’t think the comment gave away the fact that you’re 29 at all. 🙂 I think it does, however, demonstrate your intelligence in not getting caught up in all of these sites. And also? You are definitely one of those bloggers with excellent content. The proof is that I’m waiting (impatiently) for the next installment of your series!

  •  Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Suck it sideways!! You kill me! 🙂

  •  Even in Pinterest 😉

  • If you have quality readers, hon, it’s because you are a quality writer. Not to mention hot as hell! 🙂

  • With your ex-Mossad background, I have no doubt that no redditor would ever dare downvote you. Ever.

    And cheesaphile?! I would NEVER traumatize a cheese. Ever.

  • Are you playing Devil’s advocate again, God? Look, I could see congratulating him on the decision to get help. I really can.  But the…fawning (for lack of a better word) just seemed really wrong. And when people called him out about viewing child pornography, they got downvoted. Again, just wrong.

  • LOL! Unfortunately, as I’ve discovered through experience, declaring yourself President of the Galaxy (or in my case, Empress of the Universe) doesn’t really count. You have to get OTHER people to declare you supreme ruler. And they have to actually listen to everything you say and do everything you tell them to do.

    Ahhhh, utopia. 🙂

  • Ditto. Except for Facebook. I love me some FB.

  • Not a cheesaphile? Don’t tell me you’ve never looked at a smooth, silky brie, feeling the urge to dip your finger into the creamy tasty centre, maybe scoop up a little of it and lick it off your finger, maybe even smear it on your skin, and have someone, (in the interest of this scenario, let’s make that someone a Finnish ice princess with uncanny language skills,) slowly lick it off your skin? No? Never?

  •  *packing suitcase full of brie for move to Finland*

  • I.LOVE.YOU. You ALWAYS know just what to say to make me feel better about myself :))

  • Yes. Yes, I am.

  • 🙂

  • Oh yes. Facebook is OK 🙂

  • HA!

  • I already spend so much time on “social media” that I barely have time to write.  This one sounds particularly insidious.  I’ll be giving it a pass, thank you.   As long as you read my blog Nicky, I’m happy.  🙂

  • Each of the social media platforms have their good side and their bad side. One thing I will give Reddit, nobody ever sends you  requests for magic coins, or chicken feed, or any of the other things they need for their game-ville games! 🙂

    That’s funny, I’m happy when I read your blog too 🙂

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