Increase Your Blog Traffic By Billions Of Percentages

green arrow, increase, car, dollar sign

That's right. The blog with 12 followers is giving advice on increasing your blog traffic.

No WAIT! Don’t click away.

Ok, so I’m not really going to tell you how to increase your blog traffic by billions of percentages. If I knew how to do that, this wouldn’t be We Work For Cheese, this would be We Work For Book Deals or We Work For Movie Rights. But it’s not.

I’ve read a gazillion articles on increasing blog traffic. Yes, that’s right. A gazillion. I nearly lost count around 3 zillion, but luckily, I didn’t.

Without fail, they all talk about the importance of social media to promote your blog. Facebook, Twitter and now Pinterest are all touted as great ways to promote your blog and increase your traffic.

Follow Me on Pinterest Yup, we’re on Pinterest! Tell your friends!!

But there’s another site that can really boost your traffic. I’m talking about Reddit. According to Wikipedia, Reddit is a social news website where the registered users submit content, in the form of either a link or a text “self” post. There are a bunch of different categories, called subreddits, like funny, WTF, gaming, world news, politics, technology etc. where people submit their posts.

With bazillions of people surfing Reddit on a daily basis, it can definitely increase your blog traffic. If you don’t piss off the collective, that is.

See, if the members of Reddit, called redditors, like your post, they’ll upvote it. If they don’t, they’ll downvote it. Redditors are fucked up. I’ve been trying to think of another, more polite way to say that, but I just can’t come up with one. They can be elitists. They can be clever. They can be snobs. They can be hysterically funny. They can be outright asshats. I believe a large number of them simply live for the sadistic pleasure they get from downvoting people. Evil bastards.

down vote, thumb down, hand, thumb

Being downvoted sucks monster moose cock.

I posted my chocolate glazed doughnut recipe to the recipes subreddit. It was a hit. Got a bunch of upvotes, very few downvotes and our traffic soared higher in 3 days than it did in nearly 3 years. I wasn’t all that surprised. I mean, who doesn’t love doughnuts, right? Yup, redditors love doughnuts almost as much as they love acronyms and pedophiles.

That’s right. Pedophiles.

Let me explain. The thing with redditors is that if they think you’re just using Reddit to shamelessly self-promote, they will demolish you. They will trash you so badly, no amount of upvoting will ever bring you back. So, you can’t just join and start redditing your blog posts all willy-nilly.

You need to post other people’s blogs or pictures. You need to link to news sites (but for the love of cheese, if the news is more than 42 seconds old – don’t bother!!). And, most importantly, you need to comment on other reddits in order to build up comment karma.

I’ve tried to obey the laws of Reddit, also known as reddiquette. I post other stuff besides our WWFC posts. I read other reddits and try to comment. That is not as easy as it sounds. One bad comment and you’re toast. If you can’t think of something relevant or really clever to say, just walk away. Seriously. The other redditors will turn on you and it will get ugly.

So, I read various posts by other redditors. And, occasionally, I comment. But one day I came across this post:

IAmA Pedophile who handed himself in to authorities after viewing CP (child pornography) to try and get support. AMA* (self.IAmA)

I started reading the comments and was stunned to see the approval that was being given because the OP (the person who posted) claimed to never have acted on his desires and to have turned himself in. But the following comment stopped me in my tracks:

I don’t think I’ve ever said this to anyone before, but you’re the best kind of pedophile there is.

Huh? In what world is there EVER a good kind of pedophile, let alone a best kind of pedophile?!

The commentor goes on to thank the redditor for his bravery and strength and for not traumatizing a child.

Double huh? Well, somebody get this guy a medal for NOT traumatizing a child.

Yeah, I walked away from that one without commenting. I was happy to see that someone else felt the same way I did and posted this to Reddit:

[Effortpost] Yet another pro-pedophile AMA, from one who eventually turned himself into the police after years of collecting and enjoying child pornography (self.ShitRedditSays)

So, yeah, Reddit can increase your blog traffic. Just ask the author of the blog Hyperbole and a Half. She may answer you if she’s not too busy with her book deal. But never forget that entering Reddit is like falling down the rabbit hole.

alice in wonderland, tim burton

Somehow, downvoting doesn't seem so bad anymore.

*AMA is the acronym for “ask me anything”
**The numbers in the brackets represent  upvotes (+) or downvotes (-)





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