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All My Excess Live In Texcess

Welcome to day 7 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge for the criminally insane.  Today’s prompt is “Excess”. Enjoy, and don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge and then go drink to excess as a reward for surviving the first week!

All My Excess Live In Texcess

I got nothing. Seriously. This prompt has been driving me crazy since day one. I blame Mike for this one, and for once, it really is his fault. I suggested “access”. He said “excess”. We argued. He cried. I rolled my eyes. He threatened to write 30 days of cat posts. I caved.

Ok, fine! Stop looking at me like that. No, that’s not what happened. But it could have happened like that. Yes, it could have. Whatever.

Anyway. I started thinking about my life and excess. Is there any excess in my life that I could relate here?

Jepeto immediately brought up my shoes. I immediately dismissed it. Fifty pairs of shoes and 8 pairs of boots is hardly excessive. Right?… Right?!

zombie shoes, leopard shoes, high heels, stilettos, lots of shoes, i live for shoes

I really tried not to post pictures of my shoes. Really. These are my 10 favourite pairs.

That’s what I thought.

So, I decided maybe fiction was the way to go with this theme. And then I did what I always do when I’m trying to come up with an idea for a story. I went out on the back steps, lit up a cigarette and stared at the side of my garage. And waited. And waited. And stared.

And then it happened. A scene popped into my head.

She carefully wiped off the excess and shot him a worried look. “It’s okay,” he said. “He’ll never know.”

I could see them in my head. She has light brown hair, with natural blond highlights. I could see the highlights when she lifted her head to look at him. I could see the creases in her forehead, the panic in her dark eyes. Her pupils are dilated and it’s hard to tell what colour they are. I could see him too. His eyes are grey and his hair is lighter than hers, more blond and less brown. He’s worried too, but he’s hiding it. His jaw was clenched until she looked up at him.

I saw them.

But what I couldn’t see was the other “he”. The “he” of “He’ll never know.” Who the hell is he? Who is he that they were trying so desperately to hide something from him and were so afraid of him?! And what were they trying to hide? What did they do?

No amount of staring and smoking and waiting could answer my questions. They stayed right where they were in my head, frozen in that mysterious panic-stricken moment.

Dammit.

I knew it was completely hopeless and, in frustration, I considered writing a poem about excess, instead. I started mulling it over, trying to come up with a list of words that rhyme with excess. And could only come up with Texas. Except in my head, I pronounce it Texcess.

Well, at least I got a title out of the whole damn thing.

 

 

 

 

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  • Just so you know, I won’t be participating in the 30 Days of Cat posts. Great title today. 

  • MsDarkstar

    I have to confess that even though I am female, I don’t understand women and shoes.  I own 2 pairs of shoes. I own no high heels (I’d only hurt myself if I attempted to wear them).  I HATE shoe shopping (I have different sized feet… AND they’re wide…it’s a nightmare)

    I can let my cats know about the 30 days of cat posts, though… I am sure they’ll want to participate. Or do you not mean 30 days of posts written by cats when you say “30 days of cat posts”?

  • A poem, did you say something about a poem…That’s what I can (resort) to.

    As for excessive, I think you still have some wiggle room before you have an official shoe “problem”.  58 doesn’t sound so horribly much. By Kardashian standards you are an amateur.

    Maybe the thing you are trying to hide is the  fact you spent all your savings on shoes and you “did in” the guy that came to repossess some of them.

    So here’s my poem…of sorts

  • Pingback: Excess « Live Life in Crescendo()

  • That might be the one challenge I would be up for.  Cats make the funniest pictures. 

  • Nicky,  I had the same problem…no excess, ‘specially shoes!  So, hubby was reading me limericks from a comic strip he likes, and that sort of stuck in my head.  I was working with the excess/texas theme for a while, but it sounded a bit lame.

  • Tami Von Zalez

    Sure Imelda.  1,000 points for your blog title, but only 10 points for the shoe picture.  *giggles* There are going to be cat pictures, oh, don’t tempt me.  

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

  • Great genius runs in families, and you  are obviously related to me.  I posted a bunch of shoes too, and could think of nothing else to write about.    This was the hardest prompt so far to me.  I kept confusing access with excess in my head, and could not decide what to offer for “access” either.

  • Blasphemy! There’s excess everywhere. Everywhere I say!

  • The title had me in stitches. Now that’s a great take on the word. If I were rating these posts I’d give you 500 points for creativity.

  • One would think as a tin-pot dictator you could ORDER somebody to write a post FOR you.
    (Was this an excess of tin-pot jokes?)

  • Uh-oh. Minus 500 points. You just dissed Nicky!

  • Did you mean 30 days of posts about cats. Or 30 days of cats’ posts? Cause I might go for cats’ posts.

  • MalisaHargrove

    I’m not sure how you went from shoes to wiping the excess from her mouth to your exes in Texcess, but I love it! However, this sentence will not leave my brain: ”
    She carefully wiped off the excess and shot him a worried look. “It’s okay,” he said. “He’ll never know.” Oh, my! We should have that sentence for a writing prompt! Woo Hoo! 

  •  Malisa, um, it doesn’t say “from her mouth”. It just says she wiped off the excess. I think it would have been VERY interesting to see where you would have gone if that had been the prompt! 🙂

  • I’m glad you enjoyed that Leeuna. I had a feeling you might! 🙂

    And today, you are rating this post. Thanks for the 500 points!

  • Cheryl, you’re freakin’ brilliant, woman! Seriously. Brilliant!

  • MalisaHargrove

    OMG!!! It doesn’t say “from her mouth”??? I guess that tells you a lot about me! 🙂  I’m gonna use that prompt just for you! Ha, ha, ha! Still laughing!

  • You are making me blush…seriously blush

  • You and Linda and your sexy shoes!! You crack me up – first because I would kill myself by falling down if I ever tried to wear heels and second because I don’t and never have owned many pairs of shoes. My husband has more shoes than I do. Of course, two years ago I was shoeless (well, homeless as well) – only had a pair of rubber flipflops that some neighbor gave me. Sad…

  • Ummm honey?  Shoes… excess.  I’m kinda thinkin?  🙂  XXXOOO!!!!!

  • And what a great title indeed! Personally, I would have had the entire post comprise of pictures of all 50 pairs of shoes and 8 pairs of boots. I’m going to start smoking again too so that I can go sit outside and stare at my garage without my neighbours thinking I’m a wackadoodle. I suspect I’d find great inspiration staring at that garage.

  • I need to know WHO has MORE shoes. You, or Linda?!

  • Welcome to my writing world…  😉

  • Pingback: The Magic Carpet « Live Life in Crescendo()

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