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And Then There’s Reality

Welcome to day 9 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge that will cost you whatever semblance of normalcy you still have.  Today’s prompt is “Magic Carpet”. Enjoy, and don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge. And hang on. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

And Then There’s Reality

Have you ever seen the movie, Aladdin? According to IMDb, “Aladdin is a street urchin, accidentally meets Princess Jasmine, who is in the city undercover. They love each other, but she can only marry a prince.”

That would be the Disney version.  Here’s the Nicky version of the story:

Don't let that innocent face fool you. Al is not the sweet kid Disney made him out to be.

Aladdin is this homeless guy who steals food to survive and has the occasional run-in with the cops. He’s a young, good-looking kid who doesn’t appear to have any education or skills that make him hire-able. Not that he ever really tries to find a job, or anything. Lazy bastard.

One day, Aladdin bumps into Princess Jasmine, a beautiful girl with daddy issues and a substantial bank account. Oh, and a tiger. She resents the responsibilities that go along with being richer than Croesus, has no desire to be a trophy wife, host society dinners, meet celebrities or shop for designer harem pants. So, she decides to run away and that’s when she meets Al.

Seeing a meal-ticket with boobs, Al decides to woo Jasmine. First, though, he escapes from prison. Knowing that a fugitive ex-con won’t be the Sultan’s first choice for a son-in-law, Aladdin conspires with another criminal to rip off some guy’s cave-mansion. Aladdin finds, amongst other riches, a magic carpet and a Genie.

Aladdin, Jasmine, Paco, Abu

Apparently, Al doesn't hold a valid magic carpet driver's license and his plates have expired.

Al takes Jasmine out on the town. Things get a little hot and heavy in the back of the magic carpet. Jasmine tries to slow things down, Al convinces her that everything will be fine. Everyone knows you can’t get pregnant on a magic carpet.

Long story short, the Sultan throws a shotgun wedding. A couple more kids, an affair or two, and some drunken scenes at the Oasis later, Al and Jazz split up. Al gets half of everything, but blows most of it on wine, women and camel races. He eventually writes a tell-all book on life at the palace and appears on Oprah.

Jasmine decides to take off for a year in order to “find herself”. She eats her way through Italy and gains 150 pounds. She travels to India where dysentery helps her lose 150 pounds. Eventually, she makes her way to Bali where she learns to surf and has her first threesome. She never goes home.

The End

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Don’t forget to check out the talented bunch in the list below. They’re magically delicious! 🙂

 

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  • Ha, ha, interesting turn of that tale. A meal ticket with boobs? Al certainly had the best of both worlds, didn’t he?

  • Very funny!  I’m not sure which version I prefer. Real life or fantasy 😉

  • I have not seen the movie, but I think I would prefer the twisted characters in your version (non-animated, of course).  Who would play the leads?  

  • Pingback: The Magic Carpet « Live Life in Crescendo()

  • Your film would win the academy award.  In fact, your little story just won the Nobel Peace Prize.  1,000,000 points!

  • No one can accuse you of looking at fairy tales with a “glass half full” point of view.  Your version has potential of becoming a new reality show.  It could air right after Celebrity Rehab. 

    I caught up with the genie and he needs to talk to you.

  • Tami Von Zalez

    You’ve quite the imagination Nicky ~ great sense of humor!  The reality TV version of Aladdin. 

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

  • He did for a while, Dufus. Glad you liked it, my friend!

  • Thanks, Babs. I’m kind of partial to reality myself but maybe that’s because real life is more interesting than happily ever after. 🙂

  • I’m thinking Johnny Depp as Aladdin and me as Jasmine. The number of steamy love scenes just got dramatically higher. 🙂

  • Why, thanks hon! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

  •  Ya know, Johnny Depp was my first thought, too.  You might be onto something here. 😉

  • Is ‘Al’ really T.O.? (Terrell Owens)
    He had a fortune too, blew it all and just got fired from some piss-ant indoor league.

  • LOL, Cheryl, please pass the message on to Genie that I am intrigued by his offer. Of course, as my agent, he’ll have to include a wish or two for you. I have some ideas on more appropriate modes of magical transportation. A magic couch springs immediately to mind. Tell him to give us a call. 🙂

  • Thanks Tami! I don’t know about my imagination… I think it’s more the result of having watched that movie way too many times plus having just a little bit of cynicism. 🙂

  • LOL, a woman after my own lustful heart!

  • Naw, Al doesn’t have half of TO’s arrogance or propensity to blame others for his shortcomings. Not many people do, actually. I always hated that whiny jerk.

  • Will this be a direct-to-DVD movie? Or will it be in the black-book section?

  • I like YOUR version of this movie WAY better! 

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    You say beautiful girl with daddy issues, substantial bank account and meal-ticket with boobs like they’re bad things.

    At least your story had a very happy ending. I like happy endings.

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