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Driving While Under The Influence Of Ice Cream

Welcome to day 2 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge I thought up during an unmedicated moment. Today’s prompt is “Roadblock“. Enjoy, and don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge!

Driving While Under The Influence Of Ice Cream

When I was 18 years old, something wonderful happened. Ben & Jerry’s ice cream came to Montreal.

ice cream cone, sundae, chocolate, chocolate ice cream, waffle cone, whipped cream

After cheese, ice cream is my favourite food.

I was in college at the time, with a full course load and extra hours of fieldwork, plus I had an extremely active social life (read: I spent a lot of time in bars getting drunk), but the lure of an employee discount was too strong.

I applied and got the job. The store is located in the heart of downtown Monteal, right on the corner of De Maisonneuve Boulevard and Crescent Street. Crescent Street is renowned for it’s bar scene. Besides all the ice cream I could eat, I was ecstatic at the idea that I’d be in the middle of all the action, and able to bar hop after work.

But nothing is ever perfect the way we imagine it to be, is it?

Don’t get me wrong, the ice cream was awesome; chocolate raspberry, Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia… hmmm. Heaven! But because of my college schedule, I never got any of the afternoon/evening shifts and always ended up starting later in the evening and working until one in the morning.

Which still would have left me plenty of time to visit a couple of the bars right around the corner from me, right? Except.

By the time I left work, I was covered in ice cream. Trust me, that’s not as hot and sexy as it sounds. I’m talking hours-old, dried up, smelly, crusty ice cream all over my clothes and halfway up my arms. I was in no state to go bar-hopping.

So I would go home, instead. And without fail, there was always a police roadblock set up to spot check for drunk drivers. goats crossing the road, goats, mountain goats, mountains, nanny goatsAfter a couple of weeks of the same cop pulling me over and asking me the same questions (where are you coming from, where are you going, have you been drinking…), I started getting a little annoyed.

One evening, tired and filthier than usual, I was stopped again at the roadblock by the same damn cop. He even gave the nod. You know, the nod you give to acknowledge that you recognize someone but don’t necessarily know them. And when he came up to my car, he used the more familiar “Ça va?”  (the English equivalent would be “Yo, s’up?”) instead of the “Comment allez-vous mademoiselle?” that one would expect.

It annoyed me.

So when he asked me where I was coming from, I told him I was coming from the strip club. He was nodding his head absently, not really paying attention and not realizing what I’d said. Then he asked me if I’d had any alcohol. I said yes. That did get his attention.

I told him that I’d had a bowl of Tennessee Mud ice cream, made with real Jack Daniels. A big bowl. Two scoops. He looked at me for a moment, smiled wryly and waved me off.

That was the last time I was stopped at the roadblock.

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  •  They really have an ice cream with Jack Daniels in it?!  That is crazy cool.  I actually don’t “like” Jack Daniels very much, but I bet it tasted good.  I always enjoyed the Rum Raisin Hagen-whatever made.

    Funny, in Corolla we have had to go through a roadblock once or twice just by the turn for Mom’s house.  They beefed up the force and didn’t have a lot to do towards the end of the tourist season. So here it is, 11 at night on a Friday night. They are looking for drunk tourons.  I pull up and I literally have FIVE CHILDREN in the MINI VAN, ranging from teen to eight years old.  The van is packed with kid mess.  So while one officer is talking to me, the other takes his mega flashlight and WALKS THE VAN, shining a light in to the van all the way down.  I am like , “REALY!? You DO see I have a van full of kids, right?”  That was SO funny… yup, gotta love roadblocks.

  • I could see Nicky stripping after a bowl of Jack Daniels ice cream. She’s a real party girl.

  • The only time I got stopped at a roadblock was when I’d picked up my son and his girlfriend from a party. They’d been drinking. Guess who had to do the breathalyzer test?

  • We’ve been to the Ben and Jerry’s Factory in Vermont twice. I would work there for free! They get free pints to take home…dreamy…
    Love your roadblock story!!! I think the only time I’ve actually stopped at a roadblock was one time trying to get to my parent’s house at the beach and there were riots happening, so they were checking to see where everybody was going and detouring all traffic. I pretty much got lost.

  • I think, working at an ice cream place would put me off ice cream forever – well, not forever, but for as long as I worked there. maybe not though 😉

    I didn’t take part in this one. I don’t drive, so nothing came to mind.

  • Dufus, it’s funny but right next door to the Ben & Jerry’s where I worked, there was a strip club called Wanda’s. The manager would come in all the time for chocolate milk shakes. He used to tell my boss to fire me so I would come to work for him instead. I kept his business card for years, you know, just in case. 🙂

  • They did have it at the time, but I don’t think they still do. I went back a few years ago with my son and they had gotten rid of some of the flavours I used to know and replaced them with new ones. The girl behind the counter was really sweet though, and even applied the employee discount to my order!

  • I’m guessing it wasn’t your son or his girlfriend! 🙂

  • LM, everyone told me I would get sick of eating ice cream all the time and they were completely WRONG! It was awesome.

  • No worries, Babs! No rules, remember? Also, several participants went a different route with roadblock, so if you wanted to try that too, you absolutely could. It’s all good! 🙂

  • If I worked at an Icecream place I would weigh 1,000 pounds in a month. Love the post and your comeback to the cop.

  • Ah, the joys of being 18 and having an 18 year old metabolic system, Leeuna! I certainly couldn’t do it now. I don’t think I could mouth off to a cop now either. I’m not as cute as I was at 18! 🙂

  • Yep it was me. I passed with flying colours. I told the guy I hadn’t been drinking. Sheesh.

  • Well, it’s always good to have something to fall back on. What would you have chosen as a stage name I wonder?

  • You’re even cuter than you were at 18, Nicky.  And I love this story!  I’m just surprised the cop never asked your darling little ice cream covered ass out!

  • Hah! Besides the fact that I was a hot mess after work, if you think I look younger than my age now, you should have seen me at 18. I looked like a 12 year old! If he was interested in me at all, he was probably afraid I was jailbait 🙂

  • Ugh! I had replied to this earlier this morning on my smart phone which apparently isn’t so smart because it wouldn’t leave a comment. Roadblocks….roadblocks…I have to go write my post and link up, because I’m doing this challenge, even if it’s a fricken roadblock…plus I don’t want you coming by and making fun of me in my comment section.

  • That Jack Daniels gambit could’ve gone either way you sassy wench!
    Lucky for you he had just enough of a sense of humor.

  •  If it’s as good as marsala gelato, I’d be all over it!!!

  • I love your response, and it got results.  I’m sure that routine grew tiresome after the umpteenth time of being stopped.   Working at Ben & Jerry’s would be the equivalent of working at Krispy Kreme…hazardous to the waistline.

  • That is a great post. I wouldn’t of been able to work in a Ben and Jerrys.  The Chunky Monkey or Chubby Hubby would have led to another flavor named after me—perhaps Barrel Cheryl. 

  • You’re lucky you got away so easily. He should have given you a breathalyzer test and asked you to walk a straight line. That would have taught you to be a smart ass with the cops. 😉

  • Aw, but I was looking forward to making fun of you in your comment section! 🙂

    Seriously, I’m so glad you’re in. I’ll be by soon to check out your post!

  • By the way, I’ll be back tomorrow. I think I’m going to be one of those folks who drift in and out. Sad but true…

  • LOL! I want Sassy Wench to be my new nickname. I don’t know about his sense of humour, I think he took a look at all the ice cream stains and just felt sorry for me.

  • That was the wonderful thing about being 18, Linda. The fearlessness. Being able to eat whatever you want and being able to mouth off to whoever you want without worrying about the consequences. 🙂

  • LOL! Love the pic, Cheryl. Yeah, I couldn’t work there now, I’d be a blimp and I don’t even want to think about how they’d use my name to invent a new flavour!! 🙂

  • That’s okay. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to make fun of someone in their comment section 🙂

  • Ha! That’s classic. I love reading the Montreal aspect of your stories. I’ve been to that Ben and Jerry’s. Often times, it came after eating dinner at Dundee’s… 🙂

  • Yuck!  I do empathize with you about the ice cream covered arms and clothes – I used to have a similar job, but it was only in the summer and even though the ice cream was ‘somewhat’ free of charge, I didn’t eat much of it.  The worst to scoop was chocolate – hard as a rock!

    As for roadblocks, we have the R.I.D.E. program in Toronto and, many years ago when I worked late, I would hit these roadblocks on my way home.  One night I was totally astounded when the Constable that pulled me over for the requisite grilling about my immediate drinking situation – it was around Christmastime – and had whiskey on his breath!  I kinda hinted that I was headed home to have my own “eggnog”, so to speak.  😉

  • That… is an awesome story.
    ….and are those goats????

  •  Oh, wait,…I’m supposed to be making fun of you in the comment section. Uhhh….who did your hair? Dairy Queen?

  • KZ

    Hilarious.  I don’t think I’d have the balls to say that to a police officer even if the same one had pulled me over a hundred times before.

  • I puffy heart Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. But I really LOVE how you told the cop you came from a strip club & finished off TWO big bowls of  bowl of Tennessee Mud ice cream, made with real Jack Daniels. Ahahahhahaha! 

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