And Then There Were None

Welcome to day 5 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge that can break a lesser man. Or woman. Or me.  Today’s prompt is Spiders. Neither Mike nor I take responsibility for this prompt, even though we’re pretty sure one of us came up with it. Enjoy, and don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge so you can meet the other bloggers who are now conspiring to kill us. Or me.


And Then There Were None

Back in 2010, we were adopted by a big-assed spider. Here’s a little bit of her story:

Last week, we discovered an uninvited guest in our house. Meet Charlotte. Original, I know. What can I tell you? My kids are lucky they didn’t end up like George Foreman’s kids. Now, my dear friend Linda Medrano once told a lovely story about her parents-in-law’s pet spider which rendered me unable to kill the little bugger.

Since she spun her web in the kitchen window, I figured it wouldn’t be so terrible to let her stay. I always leave that window open in the summer and I figured Charlotte would prove handy by disposing of any creepy crawlies that dared to enter. And her web was actually quite pretty. Welcome to the family Charlotte.

But this afternoon, as I said, everything changed. Charlotte, the little tramp, is considerably fatter than she was last week. Noticeably fatter. Now I’m Googling the gestational period for spiders. Linda, could you please write a post about how to deal with an impending spider infestation?

Unlike Charlotte in Charlotte’s Web, however, this story does not end on a (bittersweet) high note.

A couple of days after I wrote this, my mom picked up my kids from school and brought them home and stayed with them until Jepeto and I got home from work. (Aside – for those of you who are new here, yes, Mike and I are just friends! Jepeto is my boyfriend and the father of my youngest son, Max. I have 2 other teenage sons, as well. Mike has a cat.)

When I got in from work, she gave me the rundown: Yes, the boys did their homework. Yes, they had a snack. No, it wasn’t chocolate! Well, yes. It was chocolate. But just a little bit! They have permission slips for an outing that you need to sign. Oh, and you had a gigantic radioactive killer poisonous tarantula in your kitchen window. I killed it.

I actually yelled. Accusingly. “You killed Charlotte!?!?!”

She yelled back. Accusingly. “You named the spider Charlotte?!?!?!?!”

We haven’t spoken since.

Okay, yes, we have. Turns out, Mom also removed Charlotte’s web and then washed my windows. It’s kind of hard to stay mad at someone who does your windows.


Now don’t forget to check out all the other wonderfully talented people who are participating in this challenge! And let them know that if they blame Mike for this prompt, I’ll give them 50 points.

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