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The Best Thing For A Case Of Nerves Is A Case Of Scotch

Welcome to day 17 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge I warned people not to join. Really, I did. So stop blaming me already.  Today’s prompt is “The awkwardness of the common banana”. You can blame the  fabulously sadistic, yet amazingly hawt Ziva for this one. If you’ve got the guts. Enjoy, and don’t forget to  link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge.

 

The Best Thing For A Case Of Nerves Is A Case Of Scotch
W.C. Fields

banana peel, banana on black background

It looks so harmless. So inane. So phallic.

When I’m nervous, several things can happen. I can babble. I can say really stupid things. I can make completely inappropriate comments. I can laugh at the worst possible moment. Or I can blank completely, unable to come up with a single solitary thing to say.

Luckily, I don’t feel nervous very often. Mostly, it happens when I’m in a situation I’ve never been in before. Like the first time you Skype with a total stranger, you know?

No? You don’t know?

The first time I ever Skyped with someone, it was with a lovely, brilliant young Finnish girl named Ziva. I was so nervous, I was petrified I wasn’t going to be able to think of a single thing to say and just sit there, staring at my computer blankly like an idiot.

We blabbed for over 3 hours.

In July, I’m going to find myself in another situation I’ve never been in before.  I’m going to California for a week with my son and I’ll be staying with one of my best blogging friends, Linda Medrano, in case you hadn’t heard.

Yes, you heard? Oh. Okay.

While it’s true that I’ve met a blogging friend before, this time I’m flying across 2 countries and staying for a week. Staying, I might add, with what most people would consider strangers. I don’t consider Linda and her husband Alex strangers, though. They’re like family.

Except without all the family drama.

That being said, I was starting to feel a bit nervous. I started thinking about how staying for a week means that they’ll see me in all my bed-head/no make-up/Spongebob Squarepants pajamas glory every morning. And because Max is coming with me, it won’t just be morning, it’ll be morning morning.

And then there are all the little things we do in the comfort of our own homes that suddenly seem awkward when done in a “stranger’s” home. Like taking an extended shower because you need to shave your legs. Or hanging your bras over the towel rack to dry. Or, if you’re a klutz like me, walking into things and falling down. Often.

Even the simple act of eating can become an uncomfortable situation. Think about it. There you are, using your fork and spoon to roll your spaghetti into a manageable state and yet, somehow, you still end up slurping the one errant strand that escapes its tightly wound counterparts and hangs down your chin, leaving a very attractive streak of sauce in its wake.

Now imagine the subject of today’s prompt. The common banana. There is never a time when eating a banana is NOT awkward. Now imagine eating it in front of “strangers”.

orangutan eating a banana

What kind of picture did you think I was going to put here?

So yeah, I was starting to feel a little nervous.

But then I remembered what I wrote a couple of hundred words ago. I don’t consider Linda and her husband Alex strangers. They’re like family.

Bring on the banana!

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Now go and check out the other bloggers’ entries. I guarantee you, no monkey typing for an infinite amount of time could touch these folks!

 

 

 

 

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  • Eating bananas has never  bothered me in the slightest. If I’m totally honest, I have never given it’s shape a second thought. Does that mean I don’t have a naughty mind? NO IT DOES NOT! It just means I only eat them at home 😉

    I’m still jealous!

  • Pingback: Banana « Live Life in Crescendo()

  • Wendy

    I had a friend who would NEVER eat anything in front of ANYONE. Not even after I had known her for years had I ever seen her eat anything, but drink tea.
    No wonder she was so skinny!

  • I have every confidence that you will charm both Linda and Alex.  It’s the banana thing you need to worry about.

  • Nicky, you make me laugh.  Of course you will take your extended showers and keep your legs marble smooth.  We will be wearing shoes, darling, and shoes show off our legs!  We all have bed head in the morning.  Did you plan to love me less because I slept on it funny and it looks like a fright wig?  No, of course not.  Alex will be at work during the day, so you and Max and I will have to get used to looking at each other without make up.  You will see my my whole routine of taking the mirror to the kitchen table and pulling out my bag of tricks to transform me from “okay” to “simply magnificent” after about 1/2 an hour of potions, lotions, powder, paint, and some glue thrown in for good measure.

    Alex eats bananas.  I only eat them if someone has peeled and sliced it for me.  I’m more of a kumquat girl myself.  I love and adore you and I am dog like in my devotion.  It’s unconditional in other words.  Don’t waste one second with worry.  You are coming home and I’ve already told Alex to be really good to you and you might stay and be my sister-wife.  We’ll keep Max too of course, and your other boys will be welcome to visit any time they want.

  • I give you props. I don’t know if I could stay in somebody’s house when I didn’t know them, outside of blogging/internet etc. Have a blast. And eat lots of bananas!

  • Alex_manydogs

    we’re going to have fun eating, drinking and sightseeing….oh and shooting an array of guns 🙂

  •  “I’m still jealous!”

    Me too!

  • You will have a blast – just be yourself and have fun.  We will expect to hear all about it.

  • That is so cool that you’re staying with Linda. Eating spaghetti is always a problem. :  ) At least you’ll be among friends, who also may have a spaghetti dysfunction.

  • I think that Linda has probably going to go to the store and buy a case of bananas for you – just so that you really feel at home. I’ve never been to the west coast but hope to someday.

  • Look at you, invoking the infinite monkey theorem!
    Every once in a while you manage to surprise me.

  • PICTURES!  VIDEO!  PICTURES!  VIDEO!! 

  • LOL! Well, I’m relieved to know I’m not the ONLY one with a naughty mind! And I only eat bananas at home too. 🙂

  • Don’t be jealous, I promise to post lots of pictures so everyone will feel like they’re right there with me! 🙂

  • I must say, that’s very strange. She wouldn’t eat anything at all? Hmmmm…

  • Ha! I think I’ll just have to leave my awkward banana at home to ensure that it doesn’t behave inappropriately!

  • You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had a kumquat. Okay, you’ve convinced me… my worrying days are over! To tell the truth, I’m more excited than nervous 🙂

  • See, that’s the thing, P.J. I couldn’t stay at someone’s house if I didn’t know them either.  The thing is, I do know Linda and Alex. I just haven’t met them yet, is all. 🙂

  • Careful Alex, I may never leave! 🙂

  • You can count on it, Linda!

  • One can only hope, Lauren! I can’t be the only one with this type of eating disorder, can I?

  • A couple of years ago, I visited my brother out in Vancouver. It was beautiful, but cold. (I was there in October) I’m very much looking forward to this trip, I’ve always wanted to go to Cali.

  • Look at me, indeed! What? You thought I was just another pretty pair of shoes?

  •  Yes, ma’am!! 🙂

  • but you’re adorable when your in your bed-head/no make-up/Spongebob Squarepants pajamas glory!!

  • Awwww… see, this is why I call you sweet thing!

  • But I’m just telling the truth!

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