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That’s What I Said

Welcome to day 14 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge that is nearly half over – YAY!!!.  Today’s prompt is “The short hairs”. Enjoy, and don’t forget to  link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge. I’ll also take it as a sign that you’ve forgiven me for this prompt. No? Sigh.

That’s What I Said

My dad owns a couple of guns. He enjoys target and skeet shooting and he’s pretty good at it. I know this because he’s shown me the targets he’s shot at and for the most part, all the bullet holes are clustered around the middle of the target. I wish I could tell you that I’ve seen my dad go all “Clint Eastwood” at the shooting range, but I haven’t. Because I’ve never gone with him. Because he won’t take me.

No matter how much I’ve whined asked.

Every time I mention going shooting with him, I get the same response. Sure, I can go, but first I’ll have to read some literature about gun safety and there are some pamphlets I should look at and there is a manual I should read and there’s a website I should visit and… you get the idea.  Both of my brothers have gone shooting with him and neither of them had to get a Master’s degree to do so. Hell, even my ex-husband (when he was still my husband) went with him and he didn’t have to read anything at all.

Except some life insurance papers and a waiver, but I’m sure my dad didn’t mean anything by those.

In any case, my dad has never taken me shooting. I keep trying though, hoping to wear him down until he gives in and brings me along. Over time, I honed my arguments for why he should take me. I discovered that calling him a chauvinist, stamping my feet and whining, “But you took my brothers… it’s not faaaaaaair!” didn’t work. Surprising, I know.

So, I changed tactics and went with using jargon to show him I already know a great deal about the subject and he can feel secure in the knowledge that I am a competent, level-headed safety-conscious person who won’t shoot herself – or him – in the foot.

cross hairs, bullseye

See, this doesn't even slightly resemble my foot.

I told him I knew he was just a concerned parent. I told him I knew that I should treat every gun like it’s loaded, even if it’s not. I would make sure to keep the muzzle of the gun pointed in a safe direction when not aimed at a valid target. I would only put my finger on the trigger when I was ready to shoot. And when I was ready to shoot at the target, I would make sure to use the gun sight when aiming and only squeeze the trigger (gently) once I had the target in the short hairs.

Dad – You mean the cross-hairs?

Me – Um, yeah. Look, I’ll even wear sensible shoes, okay?

Dad – Sure, no problem. Here’s the 12,000 page gun safety manual…

###

Now, go! Read the talented people listed below. I guarantee you none of them wrote a 12,000 page-long post!

 

 

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  • Ha ha ha ha ha!  He obviously doesn’t trust you. I wonder why 😉

  • Hahahaha!!!  That is a mix of words I would have been guilty of as well!  I reallly want to get my pistol permit!!!!  The only guns I have ever fired were squirt and BB.

  • That would be an interesting target! Ha!
    My dad took me shooting as a kid. We mostly went into the country and shot a rifle. I once tried a handgun and ended up on my ass from the kick of the gun. I tried to skeet shoot with my brother-in-law and it nearly tore my shoulder off. It’s no wonder I haven’t tried in recent years – it would probably end badly…

  • Well I know my short hairs would certainly be cross – sensible shoes or not.

  • Ahhh the beauty of shooting. Growing up in the countryside of upstate New York and being the son of a cop, I got to shoot a lot in my younger days. I own a few pistols and they are rarely used. Only when friends and such gather to do some target shooting. It can be fun, as long as all safety things are concerned. We also don’t just shoot targets. We do things that are photo-worthy, too. 

    Here’s a couple of my Flickr sets of the images I took: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hoohaaphotos/sets/72157626549684764/ 

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/hoohaaphotos/sets/72157626325380367/ 

    If you ever get down this way in my neck of New York, let me know. I’m sure I can get a few of the others for a day of shooting. And these guys would be fine teachers, too, when it comes to how to shoot, the safety and everything else!

  • Now that’s just funny! 

  • I am just getting into shooting, and I did take a class, but not before I had been to the range several times.  It sounds like you know enough of  the basics of gun safety to go with someone of experience, possibly your Dad, or someone else you know and trust. 

  • Did you think I forgot you today?  NO SUCH LUCK!  I actually had to work…sad but true.  But here I am….at last.
     
    I am concerned why your dad is so reluctant to let you have a gun in your hands.  Have you made any idle threats to anyone??? Perhaps, threats that were not idle at all but well thought out plans with possible phony alabis in place. Just wondering????

  • It sounds like your dad is very fond of Jepeto.

    😉

  • Nicky, Alex will take us shooting if you like!  He has tons of guns and he’s very good at teaching someone exactly what to do and how to do it.  He goes all the time.  I sent you a message on FB so I do want to find out how we are coming  along with vacation plans.

  •  I really can’t imagine, Babs! Sometimes he’s just weird like that. 🙂

  • Actually, Jepeto let me shoot him with a paintball gun for my 40th birthday. That’s when I really started hounding my dad to take me with him. Unfortunately, he saw the gleam in my eye while I was shooting Jepeto and I think he fears I’ll end up in prison. 🙂

  • Yeah, I could totally see myself ending up on my ass, LM. Actually, that would probably be the best of the worst things that would end up happening, I imagine.

  • I dunno Dufus, you’ve never seen my sensible shoes!

  • You can count on it P.J.! Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it!

  • Yeah, my dad’s a pretty funny guy. 🙂

  • I know everything that Wikipedia could tell me Linda! It took me about 30 seconds to read and about 10 seconds for my dad to blow me off. 🙂

  •  Cheryl, you rock my world! I’m emailing this one to my dad 🙂

  • He is. It’s baffling, really. 😉

  • Hahaha! You’ve got so much planned for us, I may never come back 🙂

    Hugs and kisses, hon!

  • xoxoxo

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Haha! That’s a funny story. Really, it is. Not just the part about the short hairs, which is terrific. Also the part about the sensible shoes. Nobody’s going to believe that crap. No wonder he didn’t let you go.

  • Is it because you’re a girl? Not from a chauvanist (or however you spell it) standpoint, but because shooting is a guy thing so only guys in the guy club can go – it’s what makes it fun and one of the few sacred things left that men can have for themselves. Because girls have cooties.

  • I’m glad you liked the story. But I’ll have you know that I do, indeed, own sensible shoes. They only have a 3-inch heel.  Doesn’t get more sensible than that.

  • Not really, Margaret. It’s not because I’m a girl. It’s because I’m his little girl. The thought of his baby girl holding and firing a gun just freaks him out. Plus there’s the cooties thing…

  • Mikewj

    How tall are you? In photos, you look about 5′ 6″

  • I’m 5’4″ The camera apparently adds two inches.

    So. Many. Jokes.

  • Pingback: If An IQ Score Falls In The Forest… | We Work For Cheese()

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