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And To All A Good Night

Welcome to day 25 of 30 Days of Writing, a creative writing challenge wrapped in shiny silver paper and tied with a big red bow.  Our prompt today is “Worst Christmas ever”, and it’s a gift from Dufus Claus. Don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you’ve participated in today’s challenge.

And To All A Good Night

Even the family dog got drunk.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Don’t got no fireplace, grab the hose!
Uncle Bob, always a compulsive liar
Knocked over the candle with his toes

Everybody knows Wild Turkey is Bob’s only foe
Even sober he ain’t bright
Tiny shot glasses all in a row
He’ll find it easy to sleep tonight

Y’know, I’ve been cooking all damn day
Yet they’re the ones who all got drunk, even Aunt Fay
And now my diva mother’s gonna cry
‘Cause right off the roof Daddy’s tryin’ to fly

So I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Avoid your family for the holidays
Visit Honolulu

So I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Run away to
Run away to
Run away to Honolulu

 

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Now go. Visit the lovely people in the list below. It’ll be like Christmas morning if you do. Without all the drunken relatives.

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  • That was awesome….no easy task! And how did you know I have an Uncle Bob!

  • nonamedufus

    Well done, Nicky. I’ll see you in Honolulu in December. I’ll bring the Wild Turkey.

  • Awesome poem, Nicky! We did this a few years ago and took the kids on a cruise over Christmas –  it was so much fun and much more relaxing than being with family.

  • Pingback: Worst Christmas Ever « Live Life in Crescendo()

  • You could have written that poem for many of my Christmas experiences, Nicky.  Do you think Alex just ran away to Honolulu?  I love how you made that rhyme in your lovely poem.  

  • Oh, more poems,  OK…I am sending a sweet little Christmas poem your way.  Oops, I am not supposed to use the word Christmas as it might offend our friends that aren’t Christians.  So I have tried to write a poem, for everyone.  I realize I failed miserably.

  • Ahahahahhahahaah! I loved this poem!

  • Pingback: 25/30 – I’m dreaming of a right Christmas | Nathanael Vitkus()

  • Cool poem and Honolulu sounds like a great place to vacate to over Christmas – or any time really.  Fortunately I have no one I wish to avoid. 🙂

  • That dog does NOT look happy.  It might’ve been his worst Christmas too.

  • hahhahaha! Especially liked “Run away to Honolulu.” That was so damn funny.

  • Thank you, Katherine. And everybody’s got an Uncle “Bob”. Even if his name’s not Bob. 🙂

  • It’s a date, Dufus!

  • Thanks LM! I love my family dearly. I even love my in-laws dearly. I just love them all a lot more when it’s not Christmas. 🙂

  • I think everyone’s had that kind of Christmas experience, at least once in their lives. At least, I hope so because then it wouldn’t just be me!

    I thought of Alex when I wrote that line. I don’t think you have to worry. It’s not Christmas. 🙂

  • Cheryl, that’s absolutely brilliant! Much better than mine!! Can I use it for our annual “holiday” cards this year?

  • Thanks, sweet thing!

  • Lucky you, Linda… can I come over to your house for Christmas? 😉

  • Ha! You should see the cat…

  • Why, thank you Lauren. I would especially like to run away to Honolulu, as well. I think I’d look smashing in a coconut bra. 🙂

  • Pishaw…it is most certainly not better than yours.  Weirder and more stupid…oh yeah, you can use it for anything you want to. 

  • PJHar

    Wild Turkey! YEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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