Love And Candy

It was your typical love story: girl blogger 1 meets girl blogger 2, girl blogger 1 continually and shamelessly throws herself at girl blogger 2, girl blogger 2 appears to return girl blogger 1’s affections but then breaks girl blogger 1’s heart by marrying some guy. That’s right. Some guy.

Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog.


In case you haven’t figured it out, I am girl blogger 1. And girl blogger 2 is the incredibly gorgeous, greenish, 3-armed Finn, Ziva. And Ziva got married this past summer. In a last-minute, desperate attempt to change her mind about marrying some guy, I sent Ziva a huge basket of fruit. It didn’t work. She still married some guy.

Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog.


Anyway, a few weeks ago, I received a surprise package in the mail. It was from Ziva. No, it wasn’t copies of her divorce papers. It contained two beautiful cards and two bags of candy. The first card had a wedding picture of Ziva and some guy on it. Ziva looked absolutely lovely in her wedding dress. Some guy looked absolutely like some guy.

Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog.


There was also some weird Finnish writing on the card, which is why there was a second card in the package that explained – in English – the writing on the first card. You know, Ziva is just so beautiful in the picture that I don’t think she’ll mind me posting it here for everyone to see.


Isn't she just the perfect princess bride? And isn't he just some guy. Who. Doesn't. Even. Blog.

Isn’t she just the perfect princess bride? And isn’t he just some guy. Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog. Sigh.

Anyway, as I mentioned, there was also candy in the package. And Ziva wrote that she would really like me to try it and blog about it. So I did and I am. Because hope springs infernal. Or something like that.

First, there was a bag of salmiakki:

package of salmiakki finnish candy

And then there was a bag of tyrkisk peber:

bag of tyrkisk peber

Notice the three flames on the bag next to the word ORIGINAL? This indicates that these are the HOTTEST of the Tyrkisk Peber candies. Oh. My.

So, CheesyMike came over and we tried the candy. There are no words to adequately describe this experience. So rather than try, ineffectually, to explain it, we decided to just show you the video. Enjoy.


And there you have it. Needless to say, I resealed the bags, put them in a box, wrapped them in pretty gift wrap and am giving them to my ex-husband as a Christmas gift. Because they’re just that good.

Ziva, I now understand why you don’t like cheese. Anyone who calls that… stuff… candy obviously has defective taste buds.

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  • Oh! That video is too cute! Did Max try the candy? Or Jepeto?

    Being a candy fiend, I had to look it up…salty licorice…sounds icky until I read that you can smash it up and add it to vodka. That’s probably where you went wrong here…

    If this explains Ziva’s lack of taste, then we can all see how her poor taste made it so that she picked that “guy” over you!

  • I just looked up those candies. Salty licorice? Flavoured with ammonium chloride? Pass the salt shaker, and a spoon.

  • KZ

    There’s nothing like the taste of something foreign and unpalatable to help you get over the bad taste of lost love. Cute video, by the way. It gave me a good chuckle.

  • Oh. My. God. I am laughing so hard right now! I love you so much! After seeing this video of your gorgeous self so bravely tasting the BEST CANDY IN THE WORLD for me, I have decided to divorce that guy.

    Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog.

    As soon as the divorce is final, I am using the money I took from that guy to buy as much of the BEST CANDY IN THE WORLD as I possibly can, ship it over to Canada, and join you in your male infested home. Jepeto might have to go, depending on how he feels about sleeping on the sofa.

    Thank you for trying the candy, my love. I think you would’ve liked the hard ones a lot more if you’d bitten into them and reached the powdery hot ammonium chloride in the middle. Just saying. You probably ought to give it another go. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Tami Von Zalez

    I am still trying to figure out what Listerine had to do with the whole event.

  • Thanks LM. No, Max and Jepeto did not try the candy. I don’t know why, but it seems like my reaction to it deterred them.

    Definitely needed vodka. A bottle before tasting, a bottle during tasting, a bottle after tasting…

    I know, right?

  • Just uncap the salt shaker, pour directly into mouth and forget about the spoon. That’s what these candies are like.

  • I don’t know, KZ. I think I’ll get over the lost love easier than the taste of that candy. Ugh. I’m glad you enjoyed the video. I wish I could say I enjoyed making it!

    Btw, I’ve been meaning to congratulate you on your own upcoming nuptials, but I haven’t found the Klingon word for Congratulations yet! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Lemmikki, gorgeous Lemmikki, where do I begin? There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you crazy depraved wench! Divorce the guy (Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog. Sigh.), take his money and come to Canada to be mine forever. Just one thing, though. If you’re going to buy as much of the “BEST” CANDY IN THE WORLD, leave it with some guy. You know, as consolation for losing you.

  • Jepeto kindly brought me the Listerine to wash down the taste of those wonderful candies. He’s thoughtful like that! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I can’t stop laughing. You looked positively elegant eating those things that weren’t tires. You Canadians are the most polite people in the world. Could you please send the salty ones down to me? I love hot food and I salt my salt.

  • I almost wanted to spit out what I was eating when watching this video!

    I have a Finnish friend and she eats quite normally, like chocolates and sweets and nothing as gross as salt tires ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • At least you tried more than one. LOL!

    Gorgeous wedding picture of Ziva, not so much of M. He really has to do something about his facial condition.

    Note to self: Do not order Finnish candy for Christmas.

  • Really? I thought I looked decidedly miserable eating those things that weren’t tires… thanks, Cheryl! And I would, of course, love to send you these disgus… um, wonderful candies but they mean far too much to me seeing as they were from Ziva.

    *Pssst, email me your address…* ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • So, you’re telling me not ALL Finns have defective taste buds? Just Ziva? Hmmmm, not surprising ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Yeah, I really don’t know what Ziva sees in M. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So, um, I guess you’ll just have to refuse the package I just sent you…

  • Damn… momma really needs a new computer for Christmas so she can watch the video portion of this post. (Stupid Adobe Flash Player that is blocked because it’s out of date!)

  • I strongly suspect that the candy wasn’t sent by Ziva at all, but by her dastardly husband Who. Doesn’t. Even. Blog. Because he’s obviously insecure and jealous of your relationship with his recently betrothed. So good to see your pretty, smiling face again, even if only on video.

  • Oh no! Darn Boom Boom! I hope Santa has you on his “especially nice” list! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Ooooh, you know, I never even considered that he might have been behind this, even though I thought the handwriting on those cards was overly girly! But it makes perfect sense.

    Thank you, Jayne, that’s sweet of you to say!

  • I think that some guy who doesn’t even blog is sort of cute. I like the red stuff where most people’s heads usually are. Ziva is a fairy princess and that is the absolute truth! She is a tasty morsel even if she has salty candy! I wonder if Ziva and some guy are lacking a gene that recognizes salt. I’ve heard of that happening with mermaids. It was very sweet of her to send you the salty candy. You look good eating it too!

  • Some guy who doesn’t even blog is sort of cute, I suppose. In that I-have-red-stuff-where-my-head-should-be kind of way. It was very sweet of her to send me candy. In a I’m-only-trying-to-kill-you-a-little-bit kind of way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • KZ

    I’m no expert on Klingon linguistics, but I think “Qapla'” would suffice. And thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Sandra

    ร‡a fait pas mal mais รงa brรปle….haha! Love it! Burning candy! I love when you guys post videos. Your little guy is too cute! PS: Can we give some to my ex-husband?

  • MikeWJ

    You were simply adorable, Nicky, even while spitting up and gagging. You do your country’s reputation justice.

  • MikeWJ

    Hmm, this is an amusing and highly entertaining post, particularly the video of you spitting up, the Little Prince querying you in French, and Larry David, who’s heard off-screen saying “pretty salty, pretty salty.” But I believe I have a radically different viewpoint on these delightful Finnish confections.

  • Liar!

  • รงa fait pas mal, รงa brรปle pas… mais c’est affreux! The perfect gift for ex-husbands everywhere!! Email me his address, gorgeous, and I`ll send him some…. I`ll even include a card explaining how much you wanted him to have them! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I’m so glad you enjoyed my pain and misery. And my celebrity costars, Prince and Larry send their best. If you have a radically different viewpoint on those disgusting Finnish contraptions, it’s only because you are weird.

  • Gorilla Bananas

    I totally sympathize with you. I don’t know what she sees in that black-shirted brute. Maybe you didn’t pursue her strongly enough. She might have married him out of sexual frustration after not getting you in the sack. It’s never too late though, keep trying…

  • I approve of this comment. Keep trying, Nicky!

  • Jay of The Depp Effect

    Oooohhhhhhhhh … this takes me back to my childhood when my brother went on an exchange visit to Norway with his Scout troop. He brought back a tube of sweets (candy) which he gave me telling me they were liquorice, which I loved. Well. And so they were … but they were the most incredibly salty things I’d ever tasted apart from actual salt!! Those scandinavians can sometimes be a little … um … different.

  • Candy? What candy? I’m still getting over the 2 girl bloggers. Hmm. I wonder who they could be?

  • We are polite aren’t we? How nice of you to say so. Thank you.

  • Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

    Ya, know what? I’ve NEVER seen a photo of Ziva’s FACE. And oh my word, she is absolutely stunning.

  • *Psst, Meleah… that’s not really a picture of Ziva. It’s Robin Wright from the movie The Princess Bride*

  • OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    * I am dumb *

  • Pingback: It's a Brand New Cheese Review for 2013 | We Work For Cheese()

  • No you’re not! It’s a very old movie and with Cary Elwes crossed out, how could you know?

  • xoxo

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