Writing Challenges

Friendship

I have no idea what day it is but apparently we’re hosting a writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Friendship.

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I’m building a thing and had to get a bunch of wood.

I had them cut the wood for me and was promptly charged (violated) $1.50 per cut. That’s 3 times what I was charged at the other place the week before. But I was near this place today and sadly, I paid more to have the wood cut than the wood cost to buy. I mentioned to the girl at the cash that it seems really expensive. “Yeah, it is”, she said. But really, what does she care? She’s not my friend and neither is anyone in that horrible organization.

Later that day I made a trip to the pharmacy and tried to figure out which Kleenex(tm) style tissue paper to buy. But it was so confusing! 6 box pack of 2-ply for 6.99 or 6 box pack of 3-ply for 6.99??  Why are they the same price? Isn’t one of them better? I don’t trust this pricing scheme! Agghh I need to get out of this store. Fuck it. 6 boxes of 2 ply = more kleenexes, right? How luxurious a tissue do I need anyway. Let’s go!

At the cash, the curly haired cashier with the pierced septum let me in on a secret:

“You know, we have the same Kleenex boxes for 50 cents each. It’s a better deal than the package of 6 boxes.”
“But why? It’s so confusing over there in the kleenex aisle”, I said, starting to cry.
“I dunno. It’s just that way. You wanna go for it?”
“Yeah. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time.”

Shit, she was right. These tissue paper boxes are 50 cents each so 6 of them comes out to 3$. That’s way less than $6.99! “Limit 8 boxes per customer”, huh? Well alright generic Kleenex boxes, you’re coming with me! I balanced 8 boxes and made it to the counter just as my precarious kleenex box Jenga tower collapsed, somehow managing to direct this tipping arc of tissue boxes right at Miss Nosering who skillfully stopped the barrage like a cross between a Stanley Cup playoff goalie and a mime.

“Not bad. You were right”, I smiled.
“I should know. I work here.”
“Wanna be friends?”
“Sure, why the fuck not?”

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  • Hey Mike! I adore the fickle vagaries of Yoof. Quite right – why the fuck not, eh? But man, I’d have gone for the three-ply, band would totally have missed this pierced-septum gem of a conversation. Indigo

  • Lucky you. Wish I had a friend with a nose ring.

  • Cadeaux

    Dammit, no one ever wants to be my friend. I think it’s because I live in Alabama. I bet none of you live in Alabama. Alabama sucks.
    Pass the tissues, please. 🙁

  • Who wouldn’t want her for a friend??? She went out of her way to make sure you weren’t out $3.99 on the 6.

  • Friendships start in all kinds of ways – even at the checkout. Good for you!

  • Barb

    see you can make friends anywhere…… 🙂

  • MikeWJ

    This is sweet, although it’s a little embarrassing that you wept in a public place. Good thing you had Kleenex handy, I guess.

  • Hey, cut me in on the Kleenex deal and I’ll be your friend, too.

  • Awww! That was super cool of her to make sure you got the best deal on your tissues! Most people working cash registers usually don’t really care too much.

    🙂

  • Wow… impressive job of picking up girls… and cheap Kleenex.

  • Kleenex were that expensive 30 years ago when you and Nicky became friends?!?

  • She probably knew about the tissues for all of the seepage from her pierced septum.

  • hahahhaha! I hate trying to figure out the per weight cost of stuff at the store. I have a hard enough time shopping for spaghetti and figuring out which number thickness to buy. Geez! Do you have to be a rocket scientist these days to buy tissues? I wonder if Einstein was a good shopper.

  • I dunno, I think 2 ply is just as good, although I guess you may need that extra ply for special occasions.

  • Just ask your lady to get one. She’d do anything for you, right?

  • I’ve got some extra tissues if you need. But really, I’ve been to ‘bama and it didn’t suck at all.

  • If I keep shopping there, she’ll help me break even with what I was ripped off on wood.

  • The pressure of choice was just far too great.

  • She better fill me in on the deals next time too.

  • And in the most unexpected places.

  • I’ll sell you two boxes for 1$ + shipping, which my my calculations is about 10,000$ to Finland. Weird.

  • Nope. You usually get zero effort.

  • No no no. Our stories aren’t linked. My story takes place in today times.

  • That’s a really good point and actually makes perfect sense.

  • I’m pretty sure the grown man crying part sealed the deal for her.

  • I know, and there should be some kind of law. Shopping can be extremely deceptive.

  • KZ

    “Nose Ring chick, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

  • “Wanna be friends?”

    “Sure, why the fuck not?”

    The beginning of a beautiful friendship!

  • For real!

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