I have no idea what day it is but apparently we’re hosting a writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Friendship.
I’m building a thing and had to get a bunch of wood.
I had them cut the wood for me and was promptly charged (violated) $1.50 per cut. That’s 3 times what I was charged at the other place the week before. But I was near this place today and sadly, I paid more to have the wood cut than the wood cost to buy. I mentioned to the girl at the cash that it seems really expensive. “Yeah, it is”, she said. But really, what does she care? She’s not my friend and neither is anyone in that horrible organization.
Later that day I made a trip to the pharmacy and tried to figure out which Kleenex(tm) style tissue paper to buy. But it was so confusing! 6 box pack of 2-ply for 6.99 or 6 box pack of 3-ply for 6.99?? Why are they the same price? Isn’t one of them better? I don’t trust this pricing scheme! Agghh I need to get out of this store. Fuck it. 6 boxes of 2 ply = more kleenexes, right? How luxurious a tissue do I need anyway. Let’s go!
At the cash, the curly haired cashier with the pierced septum let me in on a secret:
“You know, we have the same Kleenex boxes for 50 cents each. It’s a better deal than the package of 6 boxes.”
“But why? It’s so confusing over there in the kleenex aisle”, I said, starting to cry.
“I dunno. It’s just that way. You wanna go for it?”
“Yeah. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time.”
Shit, she was right. These tissue paper boxes are 50 cents each so 6 of them comes out to 3$. That’s way less than $6.99! “Limit 8 boxes per customer”, huh? Well alright generic Kleenex boxes, you’re coming with me! I balanced 8 boxes and made it to the counter just as my precarious kleenex box Jenga tower collapsed, somehow managing to direct this tipping arc of tissue boxes right at Miss Nosering who skillfully stopped the barrage like a cross between a Stanley Cup playoff goalie and a mime.
“Not bad. You were right”, I smiled.
“I should know. I work here.”
“Wanna be friends?”
“Sure, why the fuck not?”