Welcome to Day 11 of 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing, the creative writing challenge that 4 out of 5 monkeys agree is the reason they all started using typewriters. Today’s prompt is Road Trip, and you can thank P.J. for this one. Don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you participated in today’s challenge before going bananas.
There’s (Almost) Always A Girl
I originally wrote this post back in July, 2010. I’ve rewritten quite a bit of it since my friendships in the blogosphere have evolved since then.
“If I had money, I tell you what I’d do. I’d go downtown and buy a Mercury or two. I’m crazy ’bout a Mercury, yeah, crazy ’bout a Mercury. I’m gonna buy me a Mercury and cruise it up and down the road.” – Steve Miller Band
I always loved that song. When I was a kid, I would imagine being grown-up and driving a totally awesome convertible and going on awesome road trips. Ok, I admit it. I still daydream about getting in my magically awesome new convertible and just driving. And being a grown-up too. I’m sure it’ll happen some day.
I started to think about where I would drive to. I think I’d head south to New York to start. There’s a guy there who I’d very much like to have a beer with. I imagine we’d probably have more than one. And then we’d converse, at length, in French.
Next, I’d head over to Connecticut. I’d have to stop in and visit family otherwise I’d never hear the end of it. Luckily, though, there’s also a girl (isn’t there almost always a girl?) there who has invented a wonderful mechanical cat that will bring us drinks. And I imagine we’d put that feline to the test.
From there, I’d head to New Jersey. There’s a girl down there who is just the sweetest thing. I’d very much like us to get matching butterfly tattoos. There’s actually a guy in New Jersey too. He’s a pretty funny guy and has promised to show me his hose. And while I’m completely anxious to continue driving, there’s yet another girl in New Jersey that I’d have to meet. I like to imagine we’d read cereal boxes together.
I think from there, I would continue south to Virginia. And there’s a girl I believe might point me in the direction of a dolphin or two. We’d hang out on the beach and paint our toenails blue. And there’s even another girl who might just sing me a song. Or bake me a cake. Or both.
Well, from Virginia it’s only a few minutes (according to my map) until North Carolina. There’s a girl there too and I think we’d have some very profound conversations about life. And cats.
While I’m starting to feel a little dizzy from heading south all the time, I think I’d push myself onwards a little more until I reach Georgia. There’s a girl there, a totally hawt girl there, and I think some of you may be imagining things all on your own so we’ll just leave it at that.
Now, I am totally dizzy, so I think I’d head west. I like west. West is good. I’d head west until I hit Texas. There’s a girl in Texas with a lot of wine and a camera and I imagine we’d get into a whole heap of trouble.
So I flee. But not south, to Mexico. No, that would be too predictable. I flee north, to Kansas. There’s a girl there who makes me laugh a great deal with all the wild and whacky things she finds.
From Kansas, it only makes sense to continue west to Colorado. In Colorado, there’s a man. Luckily though, he’s married so there’s a girl. The three of us make fun of all the silly western Coloradoans (Coloradans? Coloradites?) who ski and frolic in the 4,000 feet of snow. Occasionally, we make fun of the man too, but in a nice way. ‘Cause he’s funny.
By now, I’ve fallen in love with west. Go west, young (wo)man, go west. So I do. And I don’t stop until I’m in California. Sacramento, California to be specific. Where I buy a newspaper. And meet a girl. Yup, another girl. One in every port, that’s me. We fight off the paparazzi together. She’s very famous, you see.
After fighting off the media, I need a drink. And, say it with me now, there’s this girl, and she’s told me all about the glorious view where she lives. So, I head south again, and I meet a girl and we drink wine and watch the sun set.
I don’t know if it’s the wine or heading south, but I’m dizzy again. North! I am northbound. I finally stop around Alameda. The car has died. But it’s ok. ‘Cause there’s a girl. A hell of a girl. I shoot the car. There are earth-shattering kabooms. It’s epic. The girl and I walk off in our matching leopard high heels. We drink tequila. We drive the fishman absolutely wild. We laugh. A lot.
Then I get on a plane for England. Where there’s a girl with an accent who says I have an accent. She tells me stories and makes me laugh. There’s also a man in England. He introduces me to some very colourful characters, not to mention a few badgers. I end up entangled in quite a scandal with a certain Mr. King. I find myself fleeing north again, by boat this time. To Finland. Where there’s a girl…
Now go. Click on the links below and visit the talented people participating in this challenge. It’ll be a trip, I promise.