Bunch of Words and Stuff

So, what’s new? What’s everyone been up to? I completely forgot to write anything, even after receiving numerous text messages and voice mails all saying just that: WRITE SOMETHING. ANYTHING. olives pickles in the fridge

Geez, that Nicky is one persistent…

ANYWAY, here are a bunch of words that I turned into semi-coherent sentences which I separated into sections using headings and the bold tag.

Whenever I go grocery shopping, I always think I’m out of olives and pickles. I’m not. In fact, I hardly ever eat those things at home. Yet, I think I should pick some up if I ever have guests over. As a result, I have a bunch of jars of pickles and olives crowding my fridge. Why? Cause I never have guests over and I have a shitty memory.

Hiring a Handyman
When choosing a handyman, pay close attention to how they present themselves to you. This goes for attire, body language and conversation. Let’s compare:

Handyman A Shows up filthy and covered in plaster. Looks like he’s coming straight from a job. He may be a slob, or he’s in demand. Or both! Let’s hear what he has to say.

Handyman B Shows up 30 minutes early with long flowing well coiffed hair. (I’m not making any assumptions, but this probably means that he spends more time on his hair than anything. Ok, I’m totally making assumptions.) Immediately gets distracted by your guitars and starts talking about his band. Hmm..I thought you were here to talk about renovations. Bad sign. Strike 1.

Handyman A – Gives you his hourly rate and guarantees no more than 3 days for the work.

Handyman BNot sure how long job will take but gives hourly rate and suggests that YOU will be helping him (!?). Drops the phrase “we’ll figure it out”. Strike 2.

Handyman AGives exact availability and promises to send you a spreadsheet with a breakdown of materials and full estimate.

Handyman BSays he can start tomorrow, but first “can I play a song on your Telecaster?” No you can’t. Now get the fuck out.

I planted a bunch of tomatoes in some bins (I don’t have space in the yard). Tonight we have a weather warning: Possible snow. In May! The good thing about planting stuff in bins? You can bring them inside. Also, come July I’m going to be so filthy rich in tomatoes, I’m going to quit my job. Take that “the man”.

Can someone please explain to me how LinkedIn finds “People I may know”? I know, there’s plenty of  ongoing debate just raging about this on the internet and it’s been going on for years. In fact, we pretty much gave up our online privacy the second we signed up for an AOL account in 1994. My point is, why is LinkedIn recommending that I connect with that girl who I went on 2 dates with 6 years ago? Before LinkedIn even existed! (ok, they were founded in 2003. Shut up). So how does it know that we ever communicated? The answer: LinkedIn is reading my contacts and email, which is pretty much what Google is doing to serve you up personalized ads. Fun. And creepy.

My bike is making creaky noises. I think I need to tune it up.

Is anyone watching Game of Thrones? I got into it over the winter and it’s awesome. The story is basically this: There are like 7 or 8 people vying for the Iron Throne to rule over the 7 (or is it 6) kingdoms of Westeros. It’s pretty much the same idea as American Idol but with medieval fantasy type characters and dragons. Who’s gonna become ruler and who’s going to get kicked off the show (i.e. beheaded)? The suspense is killing me. Pun intended.

There. That’s enough. Goodnight.
tomato plants marigolds bins small garden space

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