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A Tough Act To Follow

They look harmless, don't they?

They look harmless, don’t they?

A TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW
____________________
A Play in Two Minutes
by
Nicky Eff

Cast of Characters

Nicky Eff:                 A woman in her mid-40s mid-30s late 20s
Jepeto Tee:              A man in his early 40s

Scene
The living room of a house somewhere in the frozen tundra of Montreal, Quebec.

Time
A year ago, mid-February, 2013

ACT I

Scene 1

SETTING:

We are in the living room of the Eff/Tee home, a fixer-upper if ever there was one, in the snowy wasteland known as Montreal. The living room is cluttered with toys, books, dirty dishes and several laundry piles in various states of decomposition. Dust bunnies are gathered by the thousands in the corner of the room, picket signs in hand, protesting their inhumane living conditions.

AT RISE:

NICKY EFF is curled up in the fetal position on the couch. The room is dark. A laptop is open on the ottoman in front of her, her face is illuminated by the glowing screen. She stares at it unblinkingly.

NICKY
Oh, woe is me! What was I thinking? Won’t someone rescue me?
(She whimpers some more. JEPETO walks into the room, tripping over a toy on the floor and falling face first into a giant pile of decomposing laundry. )

JEPETO
(muffled swearing in French)
What the…? OMG, it’s 5 o’clock in the morning! Have you been up all night? And couldn’t you at least do a load of laundry if you’re not going to sleep?

NICKY
I’m trying to come up with something for the challenge.

JEPETO
This is nuts! This thing has made you crazy. You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating. (Kicks a toy into the corner of the room, scattering the angry dust bunnies) You’re definitely not cleaning. You’ve stopped talking to us.

NICKY
I know, I know! It’s almost over, though. Only 10 more days and we’re done. The we can go back to being a regular dysfunctional family who stops talking to each other because of the television.

JEPETO
(Sighing)
That sounds nice. How long will it last, though? When do you start your next challenge?

NICKY
(makes the sign of the cross with her fingers)
Bite your tongue! There will be no more challenges. I already discussed it with CheesyMike. We’ve agreed: we will NEVER do another challenge again. Not photographs and definitely not a writing challenge. NEVER. EVER. Again.

JEPETO

###

Welcome to Day 18 of the Second Third Annual 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing. Today’s prompt was Liars and it was brought to you by the Olympic Men’s Curling Up With A Good Book bronze medalist, Dufus. Please click on the links below to visit the other people participating in this challenge. Honestly, they are a talented bunch.

 

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  • Bronze??? I guess between this challenge and the Olympics I have been slipping this month. Say my wife’s not in the challenge but we still have piles of decomposing laundry. Is that, like, a Francophone thing?

  • ReformingGeek

    Liar, Liar, pants on fire!

  • Ah, never say never. AND what are those dust bunnies in the image made of?

  • Say it isn’t so!!!! I love the photo challenges… That must be next!!! Xxxoo

  • Sure, you say that now.

  • Perhaps you were delusional due to the lack of sleep when you made that promise…or maybe you are just a pathological liar. Either way it worked out well for those of us that like following these challenges.

  • I don’t really understand what possesses any of us to do this thing. It exhausts me. It makes me nervous. It makes me not want to do laundry or talk to my husband or the dogs. It makes me crazy(er). This is the last one, for sure, Bucky!

  • Cheese.

  • I was going to say hash browns.

  • Excellent point, Dufus. Frankly, the challenge and the Olympics are competing with each other. So to speak.

  • So what happened the year after that? 😉 Also? If Montreal is a veritable wasteland, can one still get there by plane if one finally decides to visit such a vast, snowy white sheet of foreverness?

  • But the laundry. What about the laundry?

  • If one finally decides to visit such a vast, snowy white sheet of foreverness, I will personally plow the runway myself (not a euphemism) in order to ensure one’s plane will be able to make it. Anytime.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    I like bunnies. All they do is eat, fuck and hop. They’re role models for the rest of us.

  • KZ

    I understand the feeling, Linda. It’s fun for a while, but it exhausts you in no time. I’ve felt just as crazy and nervous as you have this month.

  • KZ

    What’s life without a little challenge, eh, Nicky?

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