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Generate This

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I generated this word cloud at Wordle.net.

In the comment section of Day 3’s post, Insanity Definition Debunked!, a lot of people asked about the newspaper photo I included with my “article”. I responded by suggesting they Google ‘newspaper generator’.

The fact is, in a moment of desperation, I turned to Google for help. You would think that for a prompt like temporary insanity, it wouldn’t have been necessary but yet, it was. That’s just how the creative cookie crumbles sometimes.

See, I knew I wanted to write a mock article but I wanted it to look like a real article. I could have put something together in Photoshop, except that I don’t have Photoshop at home, only at work. The major problem with that is I also have work at work.

It’s kind of the downside of working, I know.

Anyway, I turned to Google and sure enough, it came through with a newspaper generator. I got curious and decided to see what other kind of generators Google could come up with.

I started with ‘superhero name generator’. Turns out, on random settings, my superhero name is Sun Shadow. When I tried again using my real name, I ended up with Beast Bane. Awesome!

Next up, ‘blog topic generator’. Yeah, like we really need more blog topics. I fed in three key words to guide the direction of the topics: alcohol, handcuffs and stilettos. All of the suggestions came back to Ziva. Ok, no really, I got things like ‘How to solve the biggest problems with alcohol’ and ‘5 reasons why we love handcuffs (and you should too!)’.

Damn. Why didn’t I Google that one a lot sooner?

From there, it just made sense to check out ‘blog post title generator’. I plugged in my topic – generate this – and the generator came up with things like ‘Here are 9 ways to generate this’ and ‘Do you have what it takes to generate this like a true expert?’.

After that, I figured I’d move to something a little more cultural. I asked Google if ‘poem generators’ existed and lo and behold, they do. I plugged in a bunch of concrete nouns, abstract nouns, transitive verbs, intransitive verbs, adjectives, adverbs and only one interjection. I’ll give you three guesses what it was. Then I cicked the “Make Poem” button and voilà!

Where is the dead window?
Where is the creative idea?
Life is a blank television.
Damn, action!

Damn. That wasn’t half bad.

###

Welcome to Day 8 of the Second Third Annual 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing. Today’s prompt was Damn and it was brought to you by the internationally renowned lion tamer and hula hoop champion of the world, Boom Boom. Please click on the links below to visit the other people participating in this challenge. And don’t worry if you can’t think of anything to say. There’s a generator for that too.

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  • My superhero name is Arachno Cat, how awesome is that? Apparently, I will save you all from the evil plans of the Geisha. You’re welcome.

  • I have a generator in the garage. We use it when the power goes out – which hasn’t happened since we bought the damn thing.

  • ReformingGeek

    My superhero name is Nicky. I tired to generate a poem but my screen exploded in a yellow-orange glow.

    Sigh.

  • According to the pornstar name generator, my name would be Harry Slamm.
    But if I play the game, first pet’s name and first street name, it is Charley Nine.

  • I’ll have to check out all the generators next time I get stuck. That will probably be tomorrow.

  • WTF!! My superhero name is Giga Shadow. What the heck is that?! That’s not a tough sounding name. Sounds like a guy who sits in the dark and hacks computers.

  • Cadeaux

    I am Storm Shadow. Hmmmm. I don’t know. Being a shadow isn’t much of a superpower if you ask me.

  • Damn, that was a fine poem!

    True confessions time… I fell behind on my reading this week. I had to spend way too much time practicing with my hula hoop, what with the Olympics starting and everything. Then the lions ate my homework and I had to rewrite most of my posts. Hope to catch up with everyone today. Apologies to all!

  • Oh s**t now you’ve discovered how I write all of my posts.

  • KZ

    Damn, you’re right, that poem wasn’t half bad. I give it twelve years before all human bloggers will be replaced with robo-generators.

  • Here I thought I commented first thing this morning and only just realized I hadn’t. God the days are starting to blur together. Pass the vodka. This post seems to be generating a lot of interest.

  • I’m totally in love with my superhero personna! Read it and weep.

    My superhero name is:
    The Stinging Mistress
    You gained your abilities after being stung by a radioactive scorpion!
    A Powerful Stinger
    – Your abilities give you a massive scorpion-like stinger that can
    strike with deadly speed and disable or kill your opponents!
    Now, you protect Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania from muggers, while also battling the evil plans of Lord Voltan of Voltavia!

    Woo-hoo!

  • Pingback: Prosaic Shades of Gray » » All is Vanity (Conversation with God Continued)()

  • First of all, that was awesome and hysterical. And secondly, the Ziva comment made me laugh out loud!!!

  • frankleemeidere

    The varieties of generators online is staggering, isn’t it? There’s even a post-modern essay generator that creates essays able to fool post-modern professors. (Of course, fooling post-modern professors really isn’t hard. I did a total spoof in one course and ended up winning an award and cash prize for it. Never did have the heart to tell him it was satire.)

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Speaking randomly, I like your poem.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    My superhero name is The Mighty Skull. Apparently, I have the power to bring any dead body back to life and control it for 3 minutes. I guess that’s about how much time I’d need…

  • You realize I’m going to Google this immediately, right? It doesn’t even matter that I’m not taking a post-modern class. And I love that story about you winning the award. You should blog about it.

  • I thought that newspaper article was fun. I wasn’t aware of all these types of “generators”. Beast Bane and Sun Shadow…that generator might need some perfecting.

    I think that is sad that they make you work at work. I would complain if I were you.

  • “I fed in three key words to guide the direction of the topics: alcohol, handcuffs and stilettos. All of the suggestions came back to Ziva.” — HA!!!

    And now I am completely obsessed with those generator thingys!

  • I seriously spent one full night on Wordle’s word cloud generator not too long ago. Insanely fun. I have several saved as I planned on eventually doing a blog post on it. 🙂

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