Losing Nana

old teddy bearsLosing Nana

Nana got to calling me Rabbit when I was just a bitty thing, barely out of diapers. She said it was on account of my fondness for vegetables – carrots in particular – but anyone who’s ever met me and my overbite knows better.

As a result, that’s what most people call me to this day, more than 50 years later. Most people except Nana, that is. She’s long forgotten the nickname she gave me, long forgotten who I even am. I watched over the years as arthritis gnarled first her fingers, then her knees. Next the cataracts clouded her eyes and took her sight. And then the Alzheimer’s hit, and hit hard.

On good days, she mistakes me for my mother who died more than 30 years ago in a car crash. On bad days, I bring her breakfast in bed and she screams in terror at the stranger I now am to her. There are rarely good days anymore.

I contemplate this as I prepare Nana’s dinner. When was the last good day? When was the last time something – anything – coherent came out of Nana’s mouth? I just don’t know anymore. It seems like forever.

I look down at the salad I’ve prepared and decide to add some of the smoked Gouda she loves so much. I’m hoping it will help stir up her appetite, which has been slightly diminished lately. As I cube the cheese, I also wonder if it will hide the bitter taste of the deadly wolfsbane leaves l mixed in with the iceberg lettuce. I hate the thought of Nana not enjoying her last meal.

I climb the stairs to her room, dinner tray in hand. I open the door and Nana starts to scream.



Welcome to Day 1 of the Second Third Annual 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing. Today’s prompt was Gouda and it was brought to you by CheesyMike, who is lucky I didn’t feed him any special salad for this one. Please click on the links below to visit the other extremely talented people participating in this challenge. Just don’t accept any food from them!

Related Posts

  • Wow, Nicky, that’s some piece of writing. I loved it. I just think I’m gonna have to turn down that dinner invitation though.

  • frankleemeidere

    Yes. Nice job. Reminds me of some of the shorts that used to be in the old Alfred Hitchcock magazine.

  • This is brilliant! You are such a good writer.

  • spooky good!

    Does Jepeto actually eat what you fix him or is that why he keeps corndogs on hand?

  • Excellent! You are off to a great start, especially since you told me a few days ago that you were not ready…at all.

  • Whoa, Nicky! What evil lurks in your heart? Love it! (Remind me to skip the salad when I come for dinner! )

  • So well written and so dark. Welcome to Day 1 ~

  • TateD

    Is it possible that revenge is a dish best served cold? . . . literally.

  • Jesus, Nicky. This is fucking brilliant. Bravo, my friend. As an aside, when I was in my 20s and working in radio, my nickname was “Rabbit,” too, given to me by a boyfriend who thought I had long toes. He’s long dead and I’m still alive. Who’s laughing now? I’ll have my first post up on Monday for “Temporary Insanity.”

  • Now that is seriously disturbing. AND such a coincidence. I was just reading an article this morning in the local paper about some woman that poisoned 14 people in a nursing home and killing them. Yikes..fiction can sometimes mimic reality it seems.

  • ReformingGeek

    Um….Evil Twin really liked this one. Me? I’m hiding under the bed.

    Nice job, Nicky!

  • Pingback: Prosaic Shades of Gray » » A Song of Goudas and Grays()

  • KZ

    That’s quite a way to kick off Day 1. Here I was thinking this would be some lighthearted introductory post, and then you go and pull that on us. This was haunting and well written. Who knew you could get anything good out of this stupid “Gouda” prompt?

  • Jay of The Depp Effect

    I read most of that thinking you were writing autobiographically about a real person! That made it a little bit of a shock when I got to the wolfsbane!

  • MalisaHargrove

    “I hate the thought of Nana not enjoying her last meal.” Brilliant. That sentence brought out all sort of emotions when I read it. Humor. Sadness. Genuine love for her Nana. Very impressive job for a chick who has been spending so much time with Goofy and the boys.

  • Pingback: Gouda | We Work For Cheese()

  • Wow! That was incredible writing. What a great twist and use of Gouda.

  • Hah! You’re my kind of twisted, gorgeous. Well done. Don’t ever serve me cheese.

  • Thank you, mon ami. And we’ll go out for food, okay? 🙂

  • Thanks, Frank. I’m glad you enjoyed.

  • Aw, thanks Babs. You are so sweet!

  • I’m supposed to fix Jepeto’s food? Since when? 😉

  • Thanks, but I pulled this one out of my hat, Linda! Really, I managed to throw it together about 5 hours before I had to post it. I guess desperation breeds creativity!

  • Evil? Moi? Mwhahahahahahahaha! 🙂

  • Thanks, Tami! I was having some rather dark thoughts when I wrote it. Dark thoughts about Cheesy Mike. Really dark thoughts. 🙂

  • Oh, no revenge here, Tate. Unless we’re counting my plans for my co-blogger Cheesy Mike, that is…

  • Why, thank you Jayne, and I look forward to reading your post on Monday!

  • Yikes indeed! I hadn’t heard this story but I have heard of similar ones in the past. It is disturbing, and on several levels.

  • Thank you Reffie! I think Evil Twin may have inspired me a little 🙂

  • Thanks KZ. I really did try to come up with something more humorous but being a Dragon Queen kind of works against me sometimes. 😉

  • Ok, just so nobody gets any ideas: 3/4 of my grandparents passed before I was born and the only one I knew lived and died in Europe. Also, I’m not in my 50s. Also, I haven’t poisoned anyone.

  • I hoped that came through, Malisa, and I’m so happy that you got it. And the credit really does go to Goofy and the boys for their no-alcohol-on-site policy. It’s amazing what I think about when sober. 🙂

  • Thanks so much, Lauren. Glad you liked it!

  • I wouldn’t dream of it, Lemmikki. I would, however, dream of a number of other things. We should Skype soon to discuss.

  • MalisaHargrove

    You still have the capacity to think? Wow.

  • Wait a second. Was this brought to us by Cheesy Mike? Because I’m totally blaming – er – giving you all the credit. Also? I totally loved this post of yours. Nicely done.

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    Remind me not to eat dinner at your place. Always out. No sharing.

  • Jay of The Depp Effect

    So they’re all dead then?


    Just kidding. I’m pretty sure you are innocent!

  • OH MY GOD! THAT IS HORRIFIC AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING WRITING! Boy do we all have big shoes to fill NOW!!

  • OMG! I have the chills reading this! Amazeballs, Nicky!

  • Well…

    I am finally catching up on everything. What a way to start. You have quite the imagination. Have you been visited by Montreal’s finest lately?


  • RSS Feed
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest