Professional Help

So, how can I help you?

Well. Where to start? My name is Nicky. I’m the mother of three boys, a marketing manager, and a blogger. Oh, and I love cheese and shoes, not necessarily in that order.

Quite an interesting background. So what can I do for you?

People are worried about me.

Oh? Why’s that?

I’m hosting a blog challenge – that’s where a bunch of bloggers write based on a word or phrase. There are different prompts everyday. Some of them are pretty ridiculous but at least there’s nothing like Outlier or Kafkaesque involved. So, we write everyday and visit each other’s blogs and read and comment.

It sounds like fun, but maybe your family is concerned that you’re overextending yourself?

No, not really. They’re used to being ignored. It’s actually other people who are worried about me. The other bloggers, in particular.

Why are they concerned?

I don’t know. I really don’t. I was kind of hoping you could help me with that. Let’s see if you can figure out why everyone’s all “Nicky’s descending into darkness” and stuff. All I did was poison a helpless old lady and kill a little boy while in a drunken stupor. Oh, and apparently there’s some newspaper article claiming that I’m insane.

Excuse me, what?

Well, not really a newspaper. More like a tabloid rag, really, called The Daily Cheese. Obviously not credible. But you see where I’m going, right? It’s a humour blog and nothing’s funny.


Look, I just haven’t been myself lately. I can’t seem to make the humour work for me. Like, here, look at this. *whips out cell phone* See here, this picture. I took it on my way to work this morning. It’s a truck advertising a company that makes camouflage decals for cars. It’s funny, right, because it’s advertising camouflage decals so in theory, I shouldn’t be able to see it! Total lolz, no?

camo car

I guess it’s pretty ironic, yeah…

Except that today’s theme is scatterbrained which has nothing to do with irony and I can’t figure out any way to connect the dots so that I can marry the two together. All I can think of is a story about a woman who is so scatterbrained, she puts her  cat in the oven and brings the pot roast to the vet. Old ladies, kids and now a cat! Do you know what the Internet will do to someone who kills a cat? It won’t be pretty.

I see your dilemma. But I have a question.

Sure, shoot.

Are you going to order something? ‘Cause you’re blocking the drive-through.




Welcome to Day 6 of the Second Third Annual 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing. Today’s prompt was Scatterbrained and it was brought to you by that international superstar and my best friend, Margaret! Please click on the links below to visit the other people participating in this challenge. They’ll be the ones looking around for their inspiration, while it sits right there on their noses the whole time.

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  • Cadeaux

    I think I’ve almost had that conversation but without the body count. 🙂

  • ReformingGeek

    So what did you order?

    Hee Hee. Nice job, Nicky, but we will be having another conversation about that cat. Ahem!

  • Drive thru psychiatry. I love it. Do you get fries with that? Where is that place?

  • So your descent into darkness has driven you to distraction.
    Hey, where’s Mike in this challenge? Having you do all the work?

  • frankleemeidere


  • This was great..I mean, I think I like it, even the part about the cat, cause well you know, cats…so what I meant to say was I liked your writing, except the kind of depressing stuff…you know I do like to laugh…yeah, I’m laughingmom, nothing funny about drunk drivers, anyway, about this post…post makes good cereal, like fruity pebbles…that’s some good stuff, and cocoa pebbles really rock, they both turn the milk brown though…i just had to pick my dog up and put him in my lap, it’s like having a baby, only in people years he’s something like 84…

  • MalisaHargrove

    Tami, I just want you to know that I read your post everyday, but I cannot comment on your posts. Same thing happened during the photo challenge. I don’t know what it is, but it won’t allow me to comment. I keep trying though.

  • Nice spin on the prompt. I love the ending!! This was a toughie for me for some reason. Oh, and my cats are present and accounted for.

  • AhahHAhH! I love this story! Also, I totally did NOT see the ending coming AT ALL. I literally laughed out loud imagining this happening at a drive-thru-window!

  • HA HA HA HA HANHA HA OMG BRILLIANT HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the best ending EVER!!! Also the baby and cat ha ha… Reminds me of “what is worse than a baby eating his way out of a barrel of dead babies? Him going back for seconds…”


  • MalisaHargrove

    Hey, why aren’t you playing in this wicked round of 30-2? I miss you here!

  • MalisaHargrove

    I totally love this! I need to remember this next time nobody is listening to me (which is all of the time). I can always have a captive audience at the drive-up window. Just brilliant!

  • Beautiful! That is all.

  • Hah! Perfect writing, my love.

  • By the way, you and I see eye to eye on cats.

  • Poor, poor Nicky. So misunderstood. Now, will you pass me those french fries?

  • Poor, poor Nicky. So misunderstood. Now, would you please pass those french fries over here!

  • I answered you on Facebook, Malisa! XOXO

  • Well, Pumpkin, that was quite the tale. I’m sure the person at the drive through window was very content just getting to look at you though. I doubt they felt any rush at all.

  • KZ

    What? No gratuitous, grisly deaths today? You’re slipping, Nicky. You’ve gone soft.

  • I didn’t see that ending coming. Actually the person at the window was probably impressed with you…you did use the word manager in your description.

  • Pingback: Prosaic Shades of Gray » » Busta Rhymes Owes Me Fifteen Dollars()

  • I get that complaint from time to time from my readers. So weird because you are on blogger too ~

  • Haha! Nice, Nicky. Good ending. 🙂

    Did you get fries with it?


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