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Guest Bloggers

This category contains 17 posts
chimp opus

OPUS JEPETIUS

  A series of events led me to reopen the random thoughts file. First, I have a new job. Second, I read them again and they are fucking hilarious. Turd, I like to say turd. It’s gonna be tough to find a new way to number my thoughts without numbers. It’s like fingering without a […]

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sad woman, cry, black and white

It’s Time To Play Guess That Pill

Hi there. Nicky here. I know it says that this post is by Jepeto, and it will be. I’d hate to disappoint everyone. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who voted for us in the blog makeover contest. Unfortunately, we didn’t win. That honour goes to Danielle of Salmon Like The […]

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montreal-park-snow

How Do Ya Like Them Snowballs?

What up, haters? It’s me, Winter, back with another awesome display of my awesomeness! So Mike is on vacation and he really wants to go skiing in Vermont sometime this week. He hasn’t even been skiing in over 5 years, and since it rained all weekend, he was worried that the conditions would be too […]

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winter is amazing

I Can Only Be Me

Ok, I get it.   You hate Me. You see Me as cold, wet and slippery and it pisses you off. Well you know what? It’s not easy being a season. Most of you have been bitching out my snowy ass since I brushed your pretty noses with the very first flakes of my awesomeness […]

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Fuck. Off.

That’s It, She’s Gone Too Far

Howdy bloggers, it’s me again, Jake. As you may know, I have only written 1 blog post. I am not as in to the whole blogging thing as my mom might be but this time she’s gone too far. I have taken the repetetive insults and laughed cause, lets face it, it’s funny, but I will not […]

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Random Thoughts Not So Random After All

Yeah yeah yeah! Random thoughts are back. No numbers. No, no. Girlfriend stubborn and angry. Esperanto will be my next trick. Unu) It’s been more than a month now that I am jobless. Am I better? Yep. But I left a well compensated job for volunteering. Oh I am not going to build homes in […]

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baudelaire

Get Drunk

The smegma cheese fiasco is almost over. I have scarred some of you for life, which, I admit, brings a smile to my tired face. So here’s something more, um, acceptable I guess, by social standards. Charles Baudelaire’s Énivrez-vous!  has always lifted my spirits. And I promised to post it for a special Chica who threatened […]

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They look delicious, don't they?

Nothing In Life Is Guaranteed…

…except for death, taxes and Jepeto’s manic ramblings. Nein Random Thoughts Eins) Easiest way to get out of a depression: move above sea level. Zwei) I pay taxes. A shitload of ‘em. Health tax for healthcare. School tax for schools. Property taxes for my city’s infrastructures. Gas taxes for pollution (I guess). Taxes to drive, […]

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Yeah, I’m Not Gettin’ Any

Written numbers, numerals…can’t fool my love anymore. Gotta code my thoughts. I wanted to call Dan Brown to help me, but I had a brilliant idea. Morse code. Is this the first Morse code post in the world? If you concentrate and listen you might hear my thoughts. After the famous Philadelphia experiment, here is […]

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bullying

He Makes Me Proud – Seriously

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Nicky’s son… but you can call me Jake. I had to write a speech in my english class and the topic I chose was bullying. I chose this topic for two reasons: 1. I know people who were bullied and 2. I’m one of them. My mom read the speech […]

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peanut crusher

Blogging In Body Armour

Wow. I am finally out of the hospital. My girlfriend beat the shit outta me for writing with numbers, though technically they are not numbers (Ouch! Quit it!). Alright, I am better now. Tired. No more surprises, honey, I promise. XV IX Random Thoughts I) Seriously. How can you be a beaten man? I know […]

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snail

And Like Genital Warts….He’s Back!

My girlfriend (hehe, love you baby) asked me why I numbered each entry in my last post “15 random thoughts”. I like Elliotte Friedman’s blog on hockey, he’s got 30 random thoughts. Anyway, my sweet love says that it looks stooopid to write in the numbers. Alright, no more numbers. Fifteen Random Thoughts One) My […]

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ground hog

15 Random Thoughts

1) My girlfriend is starting to move a little when we have sex…I even heard a little “humph” I think. You know what that means? Yeah baby, it means it’s almost spring!!!! Fuck that pawtuckett racoon or critter or whatever it is who predicts the weather! 2) Another sign that spring is coming: I had […]

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shiny poop

He Apologizes In Advance…

It’s time once again for guest blogger Jepeto’s take on life.  He is actually quite unapologetic, but we apologize on his behalf.  Jepeto spent seven years in Haiti, and after the earthquake we asked him if he wanted to write something about it.  In a rare moment of sobriety, he said he found it difficult […]

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hehe

Win The Ultimate Cheese!

Due to the overwhelming numbers of comments in my last post, I offer you fans a way to win my most prized possession: A Munster that Vercingetorix carried under his armpit in the battle of Alesia (drooling…mmmm). But you must be worthy of it! I won’t give away the Holy Grail of Cheese to punks! The […]

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