My precious. Now someone please shove me into the fiery depths of Mordor. Or bring me Vigo Mortenson. Whichever.
I am surrounded by jewels. Square cut rubies, multifaceted sapphires, round emeralds, amethysts, yellow diamonds… they rain down upon me as I race to match them up.
No matter how many times I line up the [...]
A few days ago, I was going to write about the most excellent cheese ever, but then I met Maurice and decided to write about him instead but I promised to tell you all about the most excellent cheese ever another time, which I mean to do today but I just can’t seem [...]
…because it would seem that I wasn’t clear enough the first time. I wrote this last November and decided to repost it after I got 14 emails today from people I know and who are now automatically filtered into my junk mail file. Yeah, I’m recycling. It’s hot and my brain has melted. So sue me. [...]
There was a time when, on Wednesdays, I would not go out. People were not invited over on Wednesdays. If someone did come by, they were unceremoniously (and without apology) kicked out by 8:55 pm. I would not answer the phone or the door and the children were not allowed to talk.
Since May, 2009, though, Wednesdays [...]
Actually, last week’s word was fodder. But last week, it sounded more like fobba. I had a cold, not the swine flu, just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill cold. Still hanging around, but definitely not as bad as last week. I can finally meander more than 4 inches from a Kleenex box. And I can finally [...]
A boy child with H1N1 went mising from the planet after winning the Nigerian lotery. Please sign this petition to have the United Federation of Planets of the Apes finally get off their butts to find him.
Ok, so I have obviously exaggerated and you knew immediately that this was not a [...]
Ok, I’m taking a bit of a chance here. I run the very serious risk of offending people that I truly like and respect, but I cannot remain silent any longer. I don’t want to single anyone out in particular. If you read this and feel guilty, well, I can’t help your guilt, but I [...]
Warning: this post may not actually contain any humour, but it will contain some tips and links if you are serious about quitting smoking.
It has been 14 hours and 6 minutes since my last cigarette. Not that I am counting. I have been a smoker for over 25 years. I have tried to quit several [...]
