Writing Challenges

Ready To Go

Welcome to Day 2 of 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing, the creative writing challenge that 4 out of 5 coroners agree is a completely valid cause of death. Today’s prompt is Hold on, and is brought to you by the grim reaper himself, CheesyMike. Don’t forget to link up at the end of this post if you participated before you died.

###

During our first writing challenge, 30 Days of Writing, I wrote a post called Promises Of What I Seemed To Be. Several readers asked about the girl in the story, which led to a second part called Take Me With You. I really thought I was done with it but then found myself back in the bar with them, without really intending to be. You don’t need to read the first two parts to follow along with this one, but if you do, I hope you enjoy them.

Ready To Go

tequila shots lemon

The bar was nearly empty; a drunk passed out in the corner booth, two older fellows at the bar watching football highlights on the television, a table with four young studs playing a drinking game, and another table with three young women desperately trying to get noticed without appearing at all interested. And on the dance floor, one lone couple swaying in time to the music.

β€œTake me with you,” she said.

The song ended but he didn’t let her go. Looking down at her, he smiled slightly. “You don’t even know my name,” he said.

“So tell me your name,” she replied.

He was silent for a moment, then laughed once, softly. He looked around, noticing that the music had ended and they were alone on the dance floor. He took her hand and led her to the far end of the bar.

“Listen, I’ve got money – not much, but I…”

“I don’t want your money,” he cut in quickly, then signaled the bartender. “A beer and a Tequila Sunrise, please.”

She was taking her first sip when a thought struck her. “How did you know what I was drinking?”

He pointed at the table where her friends, still desperately trying to attract the attention of the frat boys, were sitting. “Three girls, four drinks,” he said.

She looked at him then, studying him carefully. She noticed the shadows under his eyes and the tightness around his mouth. Taking a healthy swig of her drink, she turned her eyes to the frat boys.

“Three girls, four drunks,” she noted. “If I stay here, that’s what I’ll end up with. A drunk-ass husband, a couple of kids, and if I’m lucky, a double-wide at the front of the trailer park. On a good day, he’ll get drunk and pass out. On a bad one, he’ll smack me around a bit and then pass out. And eventually, there will be a really bad day, when he won’t pass out.

And I keep thinking, no. No, that won’t be me. I’ll leave before that happens.” She downed the rest of her drink. “But I won’t. I keep telling myself I’m just holding on until I have enough money. The truth is, I’m just waiting for the moment when staying is scarier than leaving.”

She turned and looked at him. She found him staring back at her and saw, for the first time, how dark his eyes were, the irises nearly indistinguishable from the pupils. She put her empty glass down on the bar. “You know, you’re right. I don’t know your name. I don’t know why I said what I said. Thanks for the drink.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Emma Stone?” he asked. And before she had a chance to reply, “Ready to go?”

###

Now go and check out the others who are still holding on, still participating even though they’ve just realized that this is only Day 2.



Share
  • I like Emma Stone. Good choice.

  • No, don’t leave us there! Now you’ll have to continue the story tomorrow. Wonderful work, Nicky. πŸ™‚

  • I like Tequila. Good choice.

  • I like Emma Stone too. Woo hoo!

  • I’m torn between leaving a comment about Emma Stone (I like her too) and telling her she needs to run. This is how it starts, and eventually ends. Hopefully not in a doublewide.

    Do they have doublewides in Canada? For some reason I thought you were above those.

  • And now you have us holding on for more. It’s great when a story keeps evolving over time. Love this!

  • Seriously, don’t leave us hanging…you need to finish the story at some point so we know the Emma Stone-ish person doesn’t end up in a double wide being smacked around.

  • AND????………………..

  • Hey Nicky! Dammit, I loved this; it made me gave a shit about her. Well played. No flirt. Roth x

  • MalisaHargrove

    I’m hooked. Hook, line and sinker. Wonder if they have room for a third person in that car?

  • I’m so glad you are pleased. πŸ™‚

  • I think I need to start an Emma Stone fan club. πŸ™‚

  • Oh, there’s definitely one more part to this story but it won’t be tomorrow. Thank you, Lemmikki.

  • I like Tequila too. Unfortunately, the feeling isn’t mutual.

  • Hey Jen! The story doesn’t take place in Canada, but yes we have double-wides in Canada. Ever seen Trailer Park Boys? They’re Canadian. πŸ™‚

  • Thanks, Linda! There will definitely be one more installment but I think that one will be the last. Mind you, I thought the last one was going to be the last too, so you never know! πŸ™‚

  • Well, I’m not quite sure where this story is going, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t end up in a double-wide getting smacked around. Pretty sure. I think. Maybe. πŸ™‚

  • And then they left the bar to join a blogging challenge where they were never seen or heard from again. The end. πŸ™‚

  • Thanks, Indigo! Glad you enjoyed it. And by no flirt, do you mean her, me or you? Either way, I’m a little disappointed. πŸ™‚

  • For you, Malisa, we’ll make room! πŸ™‚

  • MikeWJ

    Great story, with some really nice touches, including the confusion of the dialogue and internal dialogue. Only one problem that I can see: Today’s prompt was Hold On, not Holding On. So FAIL, Nicky. πŸ˜‰

  • I remember both of the earlier installment and this one did not disappoint. I’m looking forward to more from these two. Good job, Nicky!

  • Thank you, Michael. Now please go back to the original 30M2DW post and re-read the section on NO RULES and the subsection that states that prompts are suggestions and do not have to be strictly adhered to. Then come back and tell me how wonderful my post is without the FAIL part. πŸ™‚

  • Thank you, Jayne! They just won’t leave me alone, the two of them. They’ll be back. πŸ™‚

  • “And I keep thinking, no. No, that won’t be me. I’ll leave before that
    happens.” She downed the rest of her drink. β€œBut I won’t. I keep telling
    myself I’m just holding on until I have enough money. The truth is, I’m
    just waiting for the moment when staying is scarier than leaving.”

    Yea…. my life. How did you know??!

  • Cadeaux

    I have no idea who Emma Stone is…but I still really liked this. πŸ™‚

  • Ready to go…

    … for some cheese?

    (Good work on this one, Nicky!)

  • I actually met my ex-husband in a bar, Katherine. The question is: how didn’t I know? πŸ™‚

  • Thanks Mariann! I didn’t know who Emma Stone was either, until a friend mentioned her.

  • Always ready for cheese, P.J.! Thanks πŸ™‚

  • MikeWJ

    I totally LOVE this post, not only because it’s brilliant, but because it’s wonderfully non-conformist! Good work, Nicky.

  • Nicky, this post is one word: BRILLIANT.

  • KZ

    I like the tone of this one. The dialogue is actually pretty compelling. This is the kind of post that could be expanded out into something larger one day. I’d read it.

  • Pingback: Prosaic Shades of Gray » » All We Have to Do()

  • Pingback: Unfinished Business | We Work For Cheese()

  • Pingback: It’s Your Turn | We Work For Cheese()

Subscribe

  • RSS Feed
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

Archives

discount party supplies